My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

The purple man lives in the purple house. The blue man lives in the blue house. Who lives in the White House?

The orange man.

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

I just found out I'm colorblind

That diagnosis really came out of the purple

Why'd magneto stop wearing purple?

Because the days of fuchsia passed.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's purple and green and sits on the porch at night crying?

She's my fucking girlfriend I'll paint her whatever colours I want.

What’s longest purple thing on earth you can see from the moon?

The Grape Wall of China

I thought I saw a guy with purple skin yesterday.

Turns out it was just a pigment of my imagination.

I was just diagnosed with color blindness...

... it came completely out of the purple.

Three military wives were at the base PX in Fort Hood fighting over the last toaster on the shelf. The first one says "My husband came back from Afghanistan with a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star. I deserve it."

The second one says "No. My husband came back from Afghanistan with a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and the Congressional Medal of Honor. I deserve it."

The third one says "Well, my husband came back from Afghanistan in a body bag. NOW GET YOUR MITTS OFF THAT TOASTER!"

The Purple Pirate

This is not a good joke, my Dad told it to me years ago and I haven't seen it here yet.

There was once a purple pirate who sailed the 7 purple seas. One purple day, as the sky was clear and purple the purple pirate landed his purple ship on a purple island.

The Purple pirate explored t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I once dated a girl who had a twin.

I once dated a girl who had a twin.

People always asked me how I could tell them apart.

It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.

The Purple Gorilla.

Once upon a time there was a man driving down an old road at night when his car broke down on the side of the road. He saw a small house not to far away. He decided to see if the house had anyone willing to help him out. The man knocked on the door and almost instantly an old lady swung open the doo...

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

A doctor told me I was colorblind

But I don't trust purple people

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

Purple is the best color for camouflage

Have you ever seen a soldier in violet ?

I bought purple Jell-O mix and now I feel like a superhero.

With grape powder comes great responsibility.

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

The Purple Violet

Timmy was starting kindergarten, and on his first day he was pretty nervous.
First, the students went around and said their names, and something fun about them.
“I’m Mary, and I like dolls!” said Mary.
“I’m Johnny, and I like action figures!” said Johnny.
When it was Timmy’s turn, he...

I was recently surprised to hear from the doctor that i was colour blind!

It was so sudden! It came right out of the purple!

As a purple faced man, one day I hope to meet a purple faced women...

They tell me I shouldn't hold my breath

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Purple Dragon (long)

There was a boy walking to school one day, and on his way to school a bully beat him up and knocked him to the ground. As the kid was laying on the ground the bully spit in his face and called him a purple dragon. The boy wasn’t sure what it meant, but he just dusted himself off and headed to school...

I was diagnosed with color blindness just an hour ago.

It came right out of the purple.

What's both blue and purple and never seen again?

This thread :/

What happens if u throw a purple hat in the black sea?

It gets wet.

How do you kill a purple elephant?

**With a purple elephant gun.**

How do you kill a blue elephant?

**You tie a knot in it's trunk until it turns purple then shoot it with a purple elephant gun.**

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

**Open the door and put it inside**

How do you put a lion i...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Magic Purple Dildo

A girl walks into a bar, and goes up to the bartender and complains about ex-boyfriend and how she will never get laid again.

The bartender looks at her and reaches under the counter and pulls out a purple dildo. He tells her that the dildo is a Magic Dildo. "This is a magic purple dildo you...

Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.

Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperat...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Purple Spotted Penis

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The purple feather

Billy was walking to school when he spotted a purple feather on the side of the road . "A purple feather! I can't wait to show everyone" he exclaimed. It was lunch time at school and Billy decided to show his friend Jacob. Jacob held the feather and asked "how did you find this?" Billy replied "I w...

What do you call a brewmaster that wears a bright purple robe and carries around an enormous recipe book?

An Ale Chemist.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

New truck

My buddy Frank bought a new truck today and the dealer made sure to mention that if the spark plugs get wet that is wont work. So if you know it's going to rain to be sure to put vaseline on them.

He happened to be going to his girlfriend's parents house for the first time tonight and Shiela ...

My favourite joke

In the purple forest is a purple kingdom. In the purple kingdom a purple peasant stole some purple bread. The purple police put the purple peasant in purple prison. The purple guard went to the purple peasant and said:

“All right, indigo”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My dog disgraced himself by escaping and bringing home next doors rabbit.

It was very dead and covered in dirt but I couldn't see any wound so I thought I might just be able to get away without confessing. So I quickly washed and blow dried the deceased bunny, snuck round the fence and popped bun back in its hutch, all snuggled up looking in its straw so it looked just l...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.