I just found out I'm colorblind

That diagnosis really came out of the purple

I was just diagnosed with color blindness...

... it came completely out of the purple.

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What are purple flowers

One day, little Johnny passes by his older brother’s room, where he overheard him talking to his girlfriend on the phone. The only phrase Johnny caught was “Purple flowers.” The next day in class, after giving instructions, the teacher asks if anyone has any questions. Johnny raises his hand and ask...

I thought I saw a guy with purple skin yesterday.

Turns out it was just a pigment of my imagination.

What is Purple, Musical, and Deadly?

Thanos in a Barbershop Quartet!

What’s longest purple thing on earth you can see from the moon?

The Grape Wall of China

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's purple and green and sits on the porch at night crying?

She's my fucking girlfriend I'll paint her whatever colours I want.

The Purple Pirate

This is not a good joke, my Dad told it to me years ago and I haven't seen it here yet.

There was once a purple pirate who sailed the 7 purple seas. One purple day, as the sky was clear and purple the purple pirate landed his purple ship on a purple island.

The Purple pirate explored t...

The Purple Gorilla.

Once upon a time there was a man driving down an old road at night when his car broke down on the side of the road. He saw a small house not to far away. He decided to see if the house had anyone willing to help him out. The man knocked on the door and almost instantly an old lady swung open the doo...

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

A doctor told me I was colorblind

But I don't trust purple people

Purple is the best color for camouflage

Have you ever seen a soldier in violet ?

Why'd magneto stop wearing purple?

Because the days of fuchsia passed.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I once dated a girl who had a twin.

I once dated a girl who had a twin.

People always asked me how I could tell them apart.

It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.

Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat?

Her miscarriage.

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

The Purple Violet

Timmy was starting kindergarten, and on his first day he was pretty nervous.
First, the students went around and said their names, and something fun about them.
“I’m Mary, and I like dolls!” said Mary.
“I’m Johnny, and I like action figures!” said Johnny.
When it was Timmy’s turn, he...

As a purple faced man, one day I hope to meet a purple faced women...

They tell me I shouldn't hold my breath

Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...

Lives in the White House.

I was diagnosed with color blindness just an hour ago.

It came right out of the purple.

Roses are red, That much is true

But violets are purple
Not freakin blue

Purple... long but worth it IMO

A purple man woke up in his purple room, in his purple bed inside his purple house. He got out of his purple bed, went to his purple bathroom, used his purple toilet, washed his purple hands and brushed his purple teeth.

He got dressed in his favourite purple shirt, purple undies and purple t...

I bought purple Jell-O mix and now I feel like a superhero.

With grape powder comes great responsibility.

What's both blue and purple and never seen again?

This thread :/

What happens if u throw a purple hat in the black sea?

It gets wet.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Magic Purple Dildo

A girl walks into a bar, and goes up to the bartender and complains about ex-boyfriend and how she will never get laid again.

The bartender looks at her and reaches under the counter and pulls out a purple dildo. He tells her that the dildo is a Magic Dildo. "This is a magic purple dildo you...

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While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days ...

How Scotland was created...

At the beginning of time God was discussing the creation of the world with the angel Gabriel. Leaning back in his golden throne, he told him of his plans for Scotland.

"Gabriel," said god "I am going to give Scotland towering mountains and magnificent glens resplendent with purple Heather. Re...

Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.

Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned

How do you kill a purple elephant?

**With a purple elephant gun.**

How do you kill a blue elephant?

**You tie a knot in it's trunk until it turns purple then shoot it with a purple elephant gun.**

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

**Open the door and put it inside**

How do you put a lion i...

What do you call a brewmaster that wears a bright purple robe and carries around an enormous recipe book?

An Ale Chemist.

So I hear Deep Purple is composing a song for the new Star Wars film

It's called Snoke on the Water.

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....


Has anyone heard a version of this before?

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperat...

Found out i was colourblind the other day..

Hit me right out of the purple

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The purple feather

Billy was walking to school when he spotted a purple feather on the side of the road . "A purple feather! I can't wait to show everyone" he exclaimed. It was lunch time at school and Billy decided to show his friend Jacob. Jacob held the feather and asked "how did you find this?" Billy replied "I w...

I’ve just been diagnosed as colourblind

I know,it certainly has come out of the purple

The Tie Salesman

There’s a great haberdasher by the name of Igor Kavinsky who made his name in the former Soviet Union for his luxurious ties. They were remarked to be the best, better than the best, the best of the best. With a reputation like that, it was no wonder that he was popular amongst the elite of the elit...

Today I got my eye exam and I failed the colour blind test.

It came out of the purple.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is walking on the beach...

...and he sees this woman there lying on a beach towel, all on her own.

As he gets closer, he notices that she doesn't have any arms or legs, and that she is crying. Out of slight pity he approaches her.

"Excuse me" the man says, "are you ok?"

"No!" The women replied, "all my fr...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is on a private safari in the middle of the desert.

It is just him and a guide. They’re speeding along in a car, looking out for wild animals. Suddenly, the man desperately needs to pee, and so they stop at an oasis for him to relieve himself.

As he’s peeing, he is distracted by a herd of beasts in the distance, As he is gazing off to the sid...

The color red walks over to the table where Blue and Purple are sitting

"Sorry," says Blue, "you can't sit with us. You aren't cool enough."