UPJOKE
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Striped Jokes

Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?

He doesn’t want to be spotted

Blondes

A young blonde, out of money and down on her luck, needed some quick cash. Desperate, she decided to kidnap a child and hold it for ransom…

She went to the local playground, randomly grabbed a kid, took him behind a nearby building, and in a stern voice she told him, "You've been kidnapped, ...

Pavlov's birds

An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it ...

A Pony in Striped Pyjama

A zebra lived her whole life in a zoo but was getting on in age, so the zoo decided to let her spend her final years on a farm. The zebra was excited to see a huge pasture with green grass and hills and many strange animals.


She went up to a fat brown thing and said, "I'm a zebra, what ar...

How do you adress a black and white striped rabbi?

In Zebrew.

What cup size bra do striped horses wear?

A size Z-Bra!

What do you call a prehistoric striped cat with a bluetooth headset?

A cybertoothed tiger

How does a bro spell a striped horse?

With a "Z" brah.

What do you call a undead yellow and black striped Insect...

a Zombee.

A lawyer was driving in the middle of nowhere...

A telephone pole was suddenly struck by lightning, falling in front of the lawyer, causing him to swerve into a ditch and total his car.

He got out of his car and looked around. In the distance, he saw a pink-striped house.

He walked to the house, went up a pink-striped sidewalk, knoc...

Dad joke about zebras

Zebras are striped for protection against predators, when they all stand together in a group the stripes make it difficult to distinguish where one zebra begins and one zebra ends, making it harder for the lions to tell how many and how big they are. Idk about you but it’s pretty black and white to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a forest..

He spoke to the Oak Tree: Your branches come over each other, twisting and turning. I feel inclined to ask you why?


The Oak Tree replied: Thank you for asking! These branches house the nests of birds, and gives plentiful wood for you humans! I can allow you to take them if you like. <...

How do tigers walk around without being spotted?

By being striped.

They left the naming the animals to a couple bros.

They got to the last striped horse,

“What letters next man?”

“Z bruh.”

Matches for sale

An Aberdonian man is selling matches on Kings Cross Station for 10p a box from the tray on a string round his neck . Each morning a man in a pin-stripe suit walks past and drops ten pence on his tray, day after day, but never takes even so much as a single match.

After six month of this, the...

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