A Pony in Striped Pyjama

A zebra lived her whole life in a zoo but was getting on in age, so the zoo decided to let her spend her final years on a farm. The zebra was excited to see a huge pasture with green grass and hills and many strange animals.

She went up to a fat brown thing and said, "I'm a zebra, what ar...

Why does Waldo wear striped shirts?

He doesn't want to be spotted

What do you call a undead yellow and black striped Insect...

a Zombee.

Brothels in Thailand have a red and white striped pole outside like a barbars shop!

I didn't know!

Imagine my shock when I went in and asked for a 'number 2 all over'

A man is sitting in a coffee shop

(Kinda long) The man is sitting in a coffee shop, when his nephew walks in, his nephew tells him that his brother has died, and that the child is homeless. The man yells at the boy: “I haven’t had my coffee yet! Don’t talk to me!” The boy runs away. A voice calls out: “help! We need a doctor! This m...

Pavlov's birds

An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it c...

How do tigers walk around without being spotted?

By being striped.

A lawyer was driving in the middle of nowhere...

A telephone pole was suddenly struck by lightning, falling in front of the lawyer, causing him to swerve into a ditch and total his car.

He got out of his car and looked around. In the distance, he saw a pink-striped house.

He walked to the house, went up a pink-striped sidewalk, knoc...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor....

He whips it out and says "doc, look at this". His dick is striped with every color of the rainbow.

Doc: "Yep, seen that before. Nothing we can do but amputate."

Man: "Screw you doc!" and runs out.

The man sees every doctor in town, but they all take one look and say the same ...

Matches for sale

An Aberdonian man is selling matches on Kings Cross Station for 10p a box from the tray on a string round his neck . Each morning a man in a pin-stripe suit walks past and drops ten pence on his tray, day after day, but never takes even so much as a single match.

After six month of this, the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A fun joke to tell your friends.

This joke is pretty fun to tell, but you need a friend to make it work.

You: A class went on a field trip to the zoo. The teacher stopped by the gorilla cage and said "Can anyone tell me what animal this is?" the retarded kid raised his hand and said "It's a gorilla." Everyone said "Yay for t...

The Mute

Once upon a time there was a mute, he could communicate only with sign language, he searched for a cure to his condition his whole life, until one day he met a guy and was told that he was a mute like him and got cured.

The mute asked him with passion: “What did you do?”
The ex-mute replie...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old woman and a bank manager

A woman walks into a bank

"I have one million dollars that I would like to deposit into a new account. May I see the bank manager?"

"Yes, ma'am, we can make you an account but you'd have to show me some proof of how you came across such a large sum of money in cash"

"I don't hav...