UPJOKE
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Violet Jokes

Roses are dead, violets are dead

I'm a bad gardener

My roses are red/and your violets are blue/there is no fourth line

(This is a haiku)

Roses are brown, violets are grey

I just found out I'm colorblind today.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

When it comes to flower colours, the person who made this has no clue.

Roses are red, Violets are red,

Bushes are red,
Trees are red,
My garden is on fire.

Roses are crimson, violets are violet

I have an art degree...you want fries with that?

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Violets are green, roses are blue...

Alright you bastards, who fucked with the hue?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue

Hitler blew an 11 country lead during World War 2

Roses are red, violets are green..

If you were on acid, you would know what I mean.

Roses are black, violets are black...

Everything’s black; I’m blind

“Roses are red, violets are red,

if you aren’t red, you get shot in the head.”

\-Stalin 1946

Roses are red, violets are blue...

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.

That's why he passed Obamacare and th...

Roses are red, violets are glorious

Never sneak up,
On oscar pistorious

Roses are red, violet's are blue

When I listen to rock music.
My neighbours do too.

Roses are red, violets don't dance

I'm having a stroke
call a anbulous... ambivalence... weewee wagon pls

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Roses are red, here's something new...

Violets are violet.
Not fucking blue.

Roses are reddish, violets are bluish.

If it weren't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish.

Roses in a Vase, Violets on a Shelf

Jeffery Epstein did not kill himself

I think that ultra-violet light might have Asperger's.

Its definitely on the spectrum.

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A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.

"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."

"Yesterd...

Heard this joke at school. Thought I might share it with y’all

There is a lady called Mary who has 3 children: Violet, Rose and Brick.

So Violet goes to her and asks: “Mom, why am I called Violet?”

And Mary responds: “Because when you were born, a violet fell on your head”

Then Rose comes and asks: “Mom, why am I called Rose?”

And Ma...

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Sunflowers are yellow

I bet you were expecting something romantic but no, this us just gardening facts

Why are prison inmates dressed in orange? They should be dressed in violet

Because they're violetors.

Roses are red violets are blue

Roses are red and Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet and so are you

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead

The sugar bowls empty and so is your head

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red

The tape around my house is yellow

Roses are red, violets are blue(ish)

Have a merry Christmas, unless you are Jewish.

A Priest was reciting a poem, "Roses are red violets are blue".

My girlfriend is 9 I'm 62.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. If you don’t like Harry Potter puns,

Something is Siriusly Ron with you.

Roses are red, violets ain't black

Your mamma's chest, is as flat as her back.

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My mom doesnt want me to play videogames because she said it makes you violet

Well I don't believe her bullshit. I'm light brown.

A Valentines Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whitney Houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou

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Why didn't willy wonka choose violet to take over the factory?

Because that would require a woman to break the glass ceiling.

Roses are red,

Roses are red,

violets are red,

trees are red,

grass is red,



fu\*k my garden's on fire

This morning my wife walked in and started hitting me with a bouquet of purple flowers…

She woke up and chose violets.

What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun?

An Ultra-Violet

Three girls are in the back seat, their parents are in the front

Girl 1: Mom, why did you name me Violet?

Mother: Oh Violet, your grandmother dropped a violet on your head the day you were born.

Girl 2: Mom, why did you name me Daisy?

Mother: When we were walking out of the hospital the nurse put a daisy on your head.

Girl 3: Jwoandb...

I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums……

Could you use African violets instead?"

Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

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