Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

"Where are we going for dinner?" Frank asks Harry.

"I forget," Harry says. "It's, uh... it's... what's the name of the flower, the red one?"<...

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Carnation Milk

65 Years Ago.

This is PRICELESS ............

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around
her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk,
with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery
stores...

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For All You Disney Fans, here’s a little Story about the time I rode the Monorail at Disneyland

One time while riding the monorail at Disneyland, I let out the loudest, wettest, deepest and almost foul smelling fart I have ever ripped in my life. There are no words in the English language that can describe the absolute rancidity of this fart. It was so putrid that actual green gas was visible ...

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A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a major asshole to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees.

None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth...

July in Honolulu

July in Honolulu is a tough time flower-wise for making garlands. Often they run out of the desired plumerias, carnations, and orchids. When that happens, they have to make substitutions, which is why the Hawaiians refer to July's garlands as the Daisy Leis of Summer

if everyone in the United States drove a pink automobile what would we have?

a pink carnation

An elderly couple invites another couple over for dinner.

After their meal, the wives left the table to go clean up in the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were left talking, and one says to the other, "Last night we went out to this fantastic new restaurant. I'd highly recommend it."

The other man says: "What's the name of the restaur...

What do you call a pink flower that resurrects itself?

A rein-carnation.

What did the Buddhist say when he was reborn as a cowboy?

WHAT IN CARNATION?!

What did the Texan florist say when he was robbed?

"What in carnation?!"

One older couple invites another older couple over for dinner.

After eating, the women go to the kitchen to do the dishes and the men retire to the living room for a brandy.
One of the men says to the other, “Did you do anything interesting today.”
Other one said, “Not a damn thing.”
“How about yesterday?”
“Nope. Nothing.”
“Did you go out for din...

Memory joke from Norm MacDonald's new memoir

An old fellow named Jim is having memory troubles and goes to the doctor and the doctor prescribes him medicine.

Jim's friend comes over to his house and says, "Jim I understand you got some medicine for your memory. Tell me, does it work?"

"Oh yes", says Jim. "Works like a charm."...

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Old People

There was this group of "couple friends" who met regularly and over the years they turned into old people. For years and years they would get together regularly. It was the standard old people get together. The women would gather in the kitchen and talk and the men would sit around in the living ...

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