UPJOKE
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A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

What's Forrest Gump's favorite pasta?

Penne.

I spent my entire life savings on Pasta

It was worth every Penne.

While eating lunch today, I found a single fusilli amongst my penne

You can say I spotted an impasta.

What do you call an Italian cook who steals from his restaurant?

a penne pincher

What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?

Penne

What do you call designer pasta?

J.C Penne

What did Forrest Gump say when asked what his favorite type of pasta is?

I love you Penne

I’m 3’6”, which makes certain daily tasks extremely difficult. Recently, I spent a good 10 minutes in my local supermarket wondering how to get the pasta down from the top shelf.

Then suddenly the penne dropped.

What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?

Penne Lane

Having intercourse is like having pasta

Because it involves penne tration

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...

Then the Penne dropped

Did you hear about the travelling pasta salesman?

His commission was penne's on the dollar

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

My wife went shopping and we got into a fight

My wife went shopping and we got into a fight when she came home.

She spent $1000 on a bag of pasta. I couldn't believe it, and I lost my temper.

But she reassured me that it would be worth every penne.

My coworker was noodling on an idea

So I offered her a penne for her thoughts

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?

Forgetti


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...

What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?

Penne and regrets

I started eating more pasta, and suddenly became psychic...

... you could say I had *penne* for their thoughts.

How much do noodles cost?

How much do noodles cost? About a penne.

My flatmates said I wasted my money buying a kilo of pasta..

..but I say it was worth every penne.

What do you call the aspect of pasta that allows it to stab you?

The penne trait

My wife was feeling down...

So i pulled a piece of pasta from my pocket, handed it to her, and asked "penne for your thoughts?" Now I'm divorced and without a home for telling a fusili pasta jokes.

In an Italian restaurant, if you saved any amount of pipe shaped pasta, you could take it home.

Each penne saved was a penne earned.

Crisis averted?

Over the weekend I was sat next to a person eating a bowlful of those really fat pasta tubes in a tomato sauce. As I watched, one got nearer to the edge of the bowl but I couldn't mention it because the person was deep in conversation. I agonised for a few seconds wondering how I could stop a me...

Where does an Italian keep their loose change?

In their penne jar

I just ate some pasta...

...and it was worth every Penne.

^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)

Did you guys hear about the Italian Chef that died recently?

>He pasta way.
>>We cannoli do so much.
>>>His legacy will become a pizza history.
>>>>Here today, gone tomato.
>>>>>How sad that he ran out of thyme.
>>>>>>Sending olive my prayers to the family.
>>>>>&g...

What does expensive pasta cost?

A pretty penne

My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...

Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.

My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta...

... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!

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