A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

While eating lunch today, I found a single fusilli amongst my penne

You can say I spotted an impasta.

I wasted all of my life savings on pasta...

It was worth every Penne.

What is James Bond’s favorite pasta…?

Mini Penne

Italians should lay off the penne and linguine for a while.

It's the obvious cause for why so many have pasta way.

What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?


What did Forrest Gump say when asked what his favorite type of pasta is?

I love you Penne

Bob and Benny, two Pastafarians, have sent letters to each other once a month for a decade.

They’re penne pals

Having intercourse is like having pasta

Because it involves penne tration

I’m 3’6”, which makes certain daily tasks extremely difficult. Recently, I spent a good 10 minutes in my local supermarket wondering how to get the pasta down from the top shelf.

Then suddenly the penne dropped.

What do you call designer pasta?

J.C Penne

Did you hear about the travelling pasta salesman?

His commission was penne's on the dollar

What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?

Penne Lane

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...

Then the Penne dropped

What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?

Penne and regrets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an Italian having sex?


My wife went shopping and we got into a fight

My wife went shopping and we got into a fight when she came home.

She spent $1000 on a bag of pasta. I couldn't believe it, and I lost my temper.

But she reassured me that it would be worth every penne.

My wife put me in charge of buying prizes for the games at our 5 year old's birthday party.

I got a bag of fusilli and a bag of penne. They're going to love pasta parcel.

I started eating more pasta, and suddenly became psychic...

... you could say I had *penne* for their thoughts.

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...

My coworker was noodling on an idea

So I offered her a penne for her thoughts

How much do noodles cost?

How much do noodles cost? About a penne.

What do you call the aspect of pasta that allows it to stab you?

The penne trait

In an Italian restaurant, if you saved any amount of pipe shaped pasta, you could take it home.

Each penne saved was a penne earned.

My flatmates said I wasted my money buying a kilo of pasta..

..but I say it was worth every penne.

My wife was feeling down...

So i pulled a piece of pasta from my pocket, handed it to her, and asked "penne for your thoughts?" Now I'm divorced and without a home for telling a fusili pasta jokes.

My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...

Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.

Where does an Italian keep their loose change?

In their penne jar

I just ate some pasta...

...and it was worth every Penne.

^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)

Did you guys hear about the Italian Chef that died recently?

>He pasta way.
>>We cannoli do so much.
>>>His legacy will become a pizza history.
>>>>Here today, gone tomato.
>>>>>How sad that he ran out of thyme.
>>>>>>Sending olive my prayers to the family.

What does expensive pasta cost?

A pretty penne

My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta...

... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!

There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency

A penne for their thoughts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spaghetti sex

I'm at the bar the other night and this beautiful woman approached me.

She said "I'll screw your brains out if you buy me a bowl of macaroni."

I said, "Really!? What are you, a pasta-tute?"

And then, that very same girl came up to me the next day and I asked her what she charg...

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