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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the Quaker man's favorite after dinner delight?

Oatmeal cream pie

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What do you get when you have sex with the Quaker Oats guy?

Oatmeal Creme Pies.

What do you call the Indian who works for Quaker Oats?

Poe Raj

Quaker surprised me about how decisive they were when canceling aunt Jemima.

I expected them to waffle.

A robber breaks into a Quaker's house

the Quaker hears the ruckus downstairs and grabs his old hunting shotgun. He comes down to find the robber in his living room. Pointing the gun at the robber the Quaker says, "Excuse me, friend, I mean you no harm, but you are standing where I'm about to shoot."

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During an ecumenical assembly, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!”

The Methodists prayed in a corner.
The Baptists wondered where they could find water. The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door announcing the fire was evil.
The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the cost of the ...

What do you call a religious man with Parkinson's?

A Quaker

My daughter texted me payback for all my dad jokes:

Daughter: Hey Dad I got a job with Quaker.

Me: With Quaker?

Daughter: Yeah, but I'm not a rich girl yet.

Daughter: I'm just haulin oats.

Bad Luck

I think my luck is getting worse.

I was mugged by a Quaker.

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