The scariest and most feared whale in the entire ocean had his son kidnapped by krill

The scariest and most feared whale in the entire ocean had his son kidnapped by krill, in a guerilla act of revenge for all of the family they'd lost over the years. They snuck up one night, and in their masses, surrounded the sleeping calf, and swam away, carrying him miles away from his father. ...

If I hear one more pun about whales,

I’m gonna krill myself


John: hey Joe what do you call it when a shrimp kills other shrimp?

Joe: I don't know what?

John: A krilling!

What do you call a shrimp that gets run over by a car?

Road Krill

TIL Humans eat more krill than whales.

I can't remember the last time I've eaten a whale.

How does a whale buy their drugs?

By the krill-o-gram

What does a government give to their top agent who is also a shrimp?

A license to Krill.

Sad moment today when I ran over a box of shrimp

Road Krill

What does a Blue Whale do on a date?

Netflix and Krill.

What do whales do during Social Distancing?

Netflix and Krill

What do whales like to draw with?

A-krill-ic paint.

A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...

What's a whales favorite sandwich?

Krilled cheese

What do shrimps do when they’re depressed?

They krill themselves

What did the fisherman do when he really liked a woman?

He invited her over to net fish and krill.

What do whales do on a second date?

Net flicks and krill.

Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me.

I only suffered super fish oil injuries, but I'm lucky I wasn't krilled!

Fish Joke of the Day

I want to krill myself.

whats a blue whale's favorite date night?

netflix & krill

What did the suicidal Meganyctiphanes norvegica do?

Krill himself.

A whale performs a La Roux cover......

"Mmmmmmmmmm.......I'm goin' in for the krill"

What did the depressed plankton do?

It krilled iself!

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