What do you call an introverted seabird?

Auk-ward.

I thought my girlfriend was getting over her seabird-related kleptomania

...then she took a tern for the worse.

My friend traded a sausage for a seabird.

He's taken a tern for the wurst.

I thought I saw a sausage fly past my window, but it turns out it was a seabird.

I took a tern for the wurst.

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