Byte Jokes - 49 Hilarious Byte Jokes

The oldest computer...

The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve.

Yes, it was an Apple.

But with an extremely limited memory.

Just one byte.

Then everything crashed.

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My dog took a byte out of my hard drive

Now it's in bits

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What does the byte say to the megabyte?

"Data"

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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"

The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Women are the best firewalls in the world

1. One human cell contains 75MB of genetic information.
2. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB.
3. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms.
4. On average, ejaculation lasts for 5s and contains 2.25ml of semen.
5. This means that the throughput of a man's member is equal...

Hi-Tech Tire Flat Joke, revisited

I got a flat in a high-tech tire on my bicycle.

I contacted the manufacturer, and they downloaded a patch.

Unfortunately, it was a cheap, 2-bit patch

Only covered a quarter of the byte the dog took out of my tire.

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In Madré Rossiya, it's illegal to manufacture storage drives with exact capacity of 1000 GigaBytes

Cause the KGB takes identity theft seriously

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My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son "one eighth of a byte"

So I said "Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"

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Eight bytes walk into a bar...

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

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I started a band called 999 MegaBytes...

We haven't got a gig yet...

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Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework

Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?

**Awkward silence**

Me: It took him a couple bytes

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What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe?

He had to a-lock-eight into memory.

-This is an original, hope you all enjoy.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A love story

A Love Story

Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

Every summer I get bit by exactly one thousand and twenty four bugs

My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.

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My computer keeps screaming at me that it's run out of memory

But it's all bark and no byte

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Why did the computer go to a cyber cafe?

Because it needed a byte to eat.

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A computer program required 8 bits of memory

A computer program required 8 bits of memory but the programmer mistakenly allocated space for a 64 bit integer instead

They then tried to rectify the issue by declaring a second 64 bit integer but this didn't have the desired effect

Two longs don't make a byte

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How do you eat a ram?

One byte at a time

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Mosquito bit me 8 times.

Mosquito byte.

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Why do programmers use binary?

Because they like byte sized problems

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Gonna be getting on the trend of binary puns and going to be writing 10000000 binary puns.

Update: Sometimes I byte off more than I can chew.

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I just ate my USB

It only took 1 byte.

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How do you eat a computer?

Byte by byte.

EDIT: Credits to u/kevin4789 I didn't know he posted it earlier, I heard this joke from a friend at school.\

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What did the hungry computer programmer say?

All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble.

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A man gets a job at a computer store that sells food shaped computers.

He was fired for trying to take a byte.

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What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

a hobbyte

Cortana told me that joke

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I just formed a grunge band and named it "1023 Megabytes"

... haven't gotten a gig yet though.

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What does a redditor eat at their virtual bday party?

A byte of cake

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what do you call a really small computer file full of pastry recipes?

Little bytes

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Swedish Computer Terms

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I cut my pizza into 7 bits

I haven't had a byte yet

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Did you know that restaurants can only store a maximum of 256 sliders at a time?

It's because they're 1 byte.

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I was hungry so I went to the computer store

I heard you could get a megabyte

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What do programmers eat for breakfast?

Nothing much, just a byte.

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My new internet provider is owned by a fisherman

Terrible service, takes all day to get a byte

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Did you hear about the guy who married the USB drive?

It was love at first byte.

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A computer programmer goes fishing. When he comes home his wife asked him how it went?

As he holds up 8 fish, he says "I only got one byte"

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I tried to build a computer out of wood, but it wouldn't turn on.

All bark and no byte.

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What did the owner of the 7-bit dog say?

"Don't worry, it doesn't byte!"

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I was attacked by wild bunnies who bit me 8 times

Luckily the doctor who helped me only charged me for one byte

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How big is a clown's hard drive?

50 GiggleBytes

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Why was the computer programmer who was sent back in time to 1700 disappointed?

Because it was all baroque and no byte

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How does a hacker vampire kill its victims?

With a kill-o-byte.

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I named my dog "Kilo"

Because he used to byte me.

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What did the floppy disk say to the other floppy disk?

Wanna go out for a byte?

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What's the difference between a tree and a computer?

A tree is all bark and no bite, while a computer is all byte and no bark!

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I tried to set up multiple knock knock jokes about data storage...

But nobody would take a byte.

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I got a new Apple phone

It seemed like it was missing a byte.

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What's a Canadian's favorite unit of computer memory?

The Tim-byte.

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