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The New Secretary

The CEO of a large company was in need of a secretary. He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there was a knock on his door. It was a dog. He had a newspaper in his mouth. He opened it to the classifieds page and pointed to the ad that the CEO had placed. The CEO was impressed. But he though...

What did the priest say as he poured holy water on a router?

Go and SYN no more.

Where did the Wifi router go?

He went data way.

A router and a modem got married.....

They where pronounced husbandwith and WiFi

If you ever want to call a family meeting...

Just turn off the WIFI router and wait in the room in which it is located.

Router?

I hardly know her

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...

...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

I just got a new dual-band wireless router, but I'm not sure if it's working or not.

It's giving me mixed signals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a router in a Nazi's house?

An Axis point

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman asks her husband to fix the router

He replies "im no technician"

The next day, the tv broke, and again he tells her "im no electrician"

The third day, the power went out, so her husband tells her to call an electrician. When the husband returns home, the lights are all on, the tv works, the wifi is faster than before....

When I asked the guy at Best Buy about the router’s speed, he kept insisting it’s not moving at the speed of light.

All I wanted to know was whether the router is N or G!

What's the name you use when you put your internet router on your bathroom?

An IP address.

(Whether or not you like it, or whether or not you believe in what I'm about to say, I came up with this like 10 minutes ago and my girlfriend is still laying in bed screaming into a pillow)

What did the router say to the doctor?

It hurts when IP.

Of course Ghosts have WiFi by now

Just think about how many dead routers there are out there!

My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn.

Now I have stable WiFi.

Connecting to a wifi named 'Martin Router King' ...

... and suddenly I have a stream.

A man is having issues with his wifi

As any self-loathing individual would do he calls up his service provider who tell him that they’ll have someone look at the router at 10am the next day.

“Odd, this seems like good customer service” he thought to himself. The next morning he wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee and waits, 10am lea...

I heard wired connections are faster...

So I poured some coffee on my router and now it's even slower...Do I need another java update?

Hi Alan – It’s John from next door. I need to talk to you about

something I am very ashamed of and know you will probably be quite angry about. The last 3 months we have been sharing your wife. Not every day, but at least 3 times a week and my girlfriend found out yesterday and is making me tell you. I didn’t want to tell you face to face so decide to message yo...

IT guy wants to be an astronaut

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

How do you take a WiFi back home?

You have to router

Kinda nerdy IT thing that escaped my mouth today at work...

I'd set up a server and tested everything internally. I was able to visit pages on the apache server, and make calls to the tomcat rest api servlet just fine.

However, when I tried external tests nothing worked. I checked, rechecked and verified the firewall was allowing the correct ports t...

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[seriously] Joke Request or Challenge, however you want to look at tit.

I am not as creative, nor as clever as many of you. So that is why I am asking for help.

I have a router that broadcasts 3 signals: 2 are mine (2.4Ghz, and 5Ghz) the 3rd is guest (which is optional) access.

I would like a witty or cleaver name to use in these 2 slots. They have a max o...

What is it called when you are on the edge of WiFi signal range?

Router Limits!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You've Been Programming Too Long When...

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omit...

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