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Overdue Jokes

The local parish priest was overdue for his vacation.

The diocese sent a young, zealous priest to replace him. The local priest had become so tired of hearing women confess to infidelity, that he established a code for them: just say you fell in the hole, and I'll know what you mean. As the priest was eager to begin his sabbatical, he neglected to men...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We went on a long-overdue family road trip this summer.

Unfortunately, we ran out of gas on Donner Pass. When I called for help they really chewed my ass.

A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client. A note was attached that stated: "This bill is one year old."

By return mail the lawyer had his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: "Happy Birthday, Bill”

I recently finished my long overdue book on my favourite herb....

It’s about thyme

One Christmas Eve, many decades ago, Santa Claus announced to his elves, "I'm supposed to begin my annual flight in one hour. But there are still some toys that need to be made and put into my sack. I need all seven of my elite toymakers to finish the toys on time."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Kringle," said the elf in charge of the workshop. "One of the elite toymakers is on vacation, and two are sick. I'm afraid we only have four elites tonight."

"So be it," said Santa.

It took two hours for the elves to finish making the toys. By the time they were done...

Scientists say that the Yellowstone super-volcano is overdue for an eruption.

Apparently the volcano has eruptile dysfunction.

This joke is about a word that can mean both 'excellent' and 'overdue'!

It's outstanding.

What do Kim Jung Un and Donald Trump have in common?

They're both long overdue for a heart attack, but even the devil doesn't want them.

Why Did Jeremy Corbyn smile when Theresa May offered to resign?

He thought he was getting rid of something overdue-ish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend hasn't touched my dick in so long.

Its schlong overdue.

I recruited a nice little girl and her cute cuddly kitten to the flat earthers this weekend.

I also figured out the brakes on my truck are overdue to be replaced.

A transport ship goes down....

A transport ship goes down in the middle of the Atlantic quickly enough that no distress signal get sent. After the ship had been overdue for a ten days, a rescue is dispatched. Five days after that, the come across an island and send men ashore. There, they find four women lounging in emergency ten...

I remember the Christmas my son got me my first DVD.

It was a rental...6 days overdue. And we didn't even have a DVD player!

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