'Mailman' is so outdated...

I prefer using the term 'of the mail persuasion.'

My girlfriend left me because I'm outdated.

Now I'm listening to the cassette tape I made for her while crying into my typewriter.

My daughter made a giant pair of shears from outdated computer parts in art class at school

She called it “Cutting hedge technology”

Garden shears will never be outdated.

After all, it's cutting-hedge technology.

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You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

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The term 'Grammar Nazi' is outdated and offensive...

...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write

"Your mama" jokes are too outdated.

Just like your mama

What do you call outdated memes?

Memeries

A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke

A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"

The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."

So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the...

There's only one thing I hate more than outdated references and racism...

....The "I have a Dream" speech.

8 letter word for the somewhat-outdated practice by male prisoners of giving their female co-criminals first pick at the bootleg weapons?

Shivalry.

My wife told me she wanted me to treat her like a queen.

So I had her executed with the guillotine for betraying the revolution and promoting undemocratic, outdated ideas.

Long live the republic!

Who buys dates anymore?

They're so outdated.

A greedy old miser dies alone. In his will he's divided his fortune between his pastor, his doctor, and his lawyer with one last request...

The old man's will states that he wishes to take his fortune with him. His final request is that these three, the last man on earth he feels he can trust, each bring their allotment of his fortune to his funeral, ten million each, and deposit the money in his coffin and bare witness as it's sealed a...

A gorgeous woman doing stand-up at a comedy club

....and she's not doing so well. It's not that her delivery or stage presence is bad. It's simply because she's using extremely tired and outdated material. To put it frankly, the audience was sick and tired of hearing the same damn jokes that had been told time after time on that stage.

Afte...

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German and brazilian go to a bar

This might be a little outdated now but anyway here we go:


A brazilian and german football fan go to a bar.
Brazilian: Ok, I know you wanna talk 7 - 1 again, I get it, but can we please for once talk about something else?
German: Ok fine what do you wanna talk about?
Braz...

Request: Jokes for my five year old son

My son is starting to get into jokes and it's surprisingly difficult to find joke books that are appropriate for his age. Most recycle old jokes with outdated references that he doesn't even understand. Some of the references are so musty I don't even get them. Does anyone have good jokes/riddles...

A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions.

It might be an outdated study though.

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Fred and Barney are standing next to the jukebox,...

Barney says, "Hey, Fred, what do you want to listen to? *Rock* music?"

Fred replies, "You know, Barney, just because we live in the stone age doesn't mean all your puns have to be rock-based. Besides, I have a very eclectic taste in music which better suites my personality."

Barney ret...

Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?

Father: God is both.

Boy: Is God Black or White?

Father: God is both.

Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?



*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people c...

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What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common?

Both are outdated currency.

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