I started worrying that my jokes are painfully outdated..

I felt discouraged and despondent when I realized my material doesn't resonate with young people today. I'm in a topical depression.

What do you call an old Austrailian orangutan with outdated views?

A boomer-rang

My girlfriend left me because I'm outdated.

Now I'm listening to the cassette tape I made for her while crying into my typewriter.

My daughter made a giant pair of shears from outdated computer parts in art class at school

She called it “Cutting hedge technology”

Mario, Wario and Luigi went to northern Norway to visit Father Christmas.

Luigi read a big book of Norwegian ethnography before the visit. Wario read a big book about Father Christmas. Mario read a big book about Scandinavian languages.

They had a great time meeting Father Christmas and visiting the workshops, where they spent a little time watching the elves doin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke

A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"

The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."

So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The term 'Grammar Nazi' is outdated and offensive...

...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write

Garden shears will never be outdated.

After all, it's cutting-hedge technology.

"Your mama" jokes are too outdated.

Just like your mama

There's only one thing I hate more than outdated references and racism...

....The "I have a Dream" speech.

An atheist decides he was to be Jewish...

An atheist is inspired by the Jewish philosophy and approach to religion, how it's built around questioning and responding with more and deeper questions. He's not sold on the God stuff, but decides he can look past that if it means getting to engage with a thoughtful, inquisitive community.

...

8 letter word for the somewhat-outdated practice by male prisoners of giving their female co-criminals first pick at the bootleg weapons?

Shivalry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you make jerk chicken?

Give him a red hat and an outdated election flag.

My wife told me she wanted me to treat her like a queen.

So I had her executed with the guillotine for betraying the revolution and promoting undemocratic, outdated ideas.

Long live the republic!

An Old Joke Only Some People Are Going To Get

How do you take down a superhero?

Put a horse under him

Like I said this is an older joke that is completely outdated and it's not for everyone but for those of you old enough to remember this one is for you

A greedy old miser dies alone. In his will he's divided his fortune between his pastor, his doctor, and his lawyer with one last request...

The old man's will states that he wishes to take his fortune with him. His final request is that these three, the last man on earth he feels he can trust, each bring their allotment of his fortune to his funeral, ten million each, and deposit the money in his coffin and bare witness as it's sealed a...

Who buys dates anymore?

They're so outdated.

Request: Jokes for my five year old son

My son is starting to get into jokes and it's surprisingly difficult to find joke books that are appropriate for his age. Most recycle old jokes with outdated references that he doesn't even understand. Some of the references are so musty I don't even get them. Does anyone have good jokes/riddles...

A gorgeous woman doing stand-up at a comedy club

....and she's not doing so well. It's not that her delivery or stage presence is bad. It's simply because she's using extremely tired and outdated material. To put it frankly, the audience was sick and tired of hearing the same damn jokes that had been told time after time on that stage.

Afte...

A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions.

It might be an outdated study though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred and Barney are standing next to the jukebox,...

Barney says, "Hey, Fred, what do you want to listen to? *Rock* music?"

Fred replies, "You know, Barney, just because we live in the stone age doesn't mean all your puns have to be rock-based. Besides, I have a very eclectic taste in music which better suites my personality."

Barney ret...

Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?

Father: God is both.

Boy: Is God Black or White?

Father: God is both.

Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?



*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people c...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.