UPJOKE
drugdoseingestionsuicidedeathparacetamolmorphinecocainepoisonintoxicationpoisoningmigraineebolabarbituratesacetaminophen

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My grandpa died of a viagra overdose

my grandma took it really hard

I actually overdosed on anxiety pills a few minutes ago

I’m not too worried about it

Why did the drug addict suffer an overdose of cocaine?

Because he crossed the line...

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l overdosed on viagra the other day.

It was the hardest day of my life.

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What’s the shitiest drug to overdose on?

Laxatives

How do you prevent a morphine overdose?

Use lessphine.

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If you overdose on Viagra...

Do you "die hard"?

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Grandpa overdosed on Viagra

I’m sure this is hard for you.

Mitch Hedberg died of a drug overdose...

Which means the drugs came from Mexico. Otherwise, he would've over-two'd.

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My friends father died of Viagra overdose....

Whole family was devastated, but his mother took it the hardest.

What’s the difference between a heroin overdose and a shotgun suicide?

Heroin addicts feel great after they shoot themselves.

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Breaking News: Elderly nuns commit suicide by viagra overdose

Old habits die hard.

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viagra overdose

grandpa became a die hard fan of viagra ever since he overdosed on it

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy"

Credit to my friend Chris

What is the antidote they use for an overdose of Ritalin called?

RitalOut.



Thanks, I'll show myself out...

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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn't even close his casket!

My uncle recently overdosed on protein powder

What a whey to go

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My friend died of an overdose of Viagra.

Took them 2 days to shut the coffin lid..

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I just found out that Bilbo Baggins died from a Viagra overdose. And that just goes to show you...

... old hobbits die hard

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**Update** For those who asked, my wife is doing ok.

I overdosed on viagra and she took it kinda hard.

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Sad news: Bruce Willis died from Viagra overdose

At least he Died Hard.

Did you hear Mike Tyson had a drug overdose...

He was pretty methed up.

Did you hear about the guy that overdosed on his homeopathy pills?

He forgot to take them.

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Bruce Willis passes away from a Viagra overdose on 4/20/2069

He picked a good day to die hard

A stoner died from a heroin overdose last night.

The paramedics did everything they could but it was all in vein.

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A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is dri...

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What's a treatment for viagra overdose and also a software company?

Ubisoft.

I was so sad when I heard Whitney Houston overdosed on cocaine

AND DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEIIIIIIIIIIEED

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I tried to overdose Viagra.

But apparently whatever doesn't kill you only makes you harder.

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My grandfather overdosed on Viagra the other day.

My grandma took it pretty hard that night; the next morning and all day long!

I put my body to the test and accidentally overdosed on hallucinogenics.

Sure, I died, but I passed with flying colors!

I walked up to a girl and said, "If you were a drug, I would overdose!"

She said, "Thanks."

I said, "Then you wouldn't be able to ruin my life any more."

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I was fucking worried when my son overdosed on cocaine.

But thankfully he hadn't used any of my stuff.

Recently a man died of an overdose of homeopathic medicine...

...he forgot to take his pill.

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Last week I thought I took a fatal overdose of Viagra

But don't worry, I'm okay now.

But my wife -- she took it pretty hard.

If you overdose on drugs you don’t go to Heaven or Hell...

You go to Percatory

I got a call from the doctor saying my buddy nearly overdosed on his homeopathic medicine.

Turns out he had forgotten to take it.

*Alternate punchline:* His family and several witnesses later disputed this, arguing the actual problem was him nearly drowning.

I lost my good mate Gav yesterday due to an overdose of heartburn tablets

I can't believe gavisgon.

What do you call marijuana overdose?

Blunt-force trauma

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I accidentally overdosed on Viagra...

... and discovered a completely new way to pick my nose.

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Why did the Chinese Mayor overdose on Viagra?

Because he wanted to win the erection.

My son, while gazing up at the sky, asked me how stars die

"Usually an overdose", I said

My Grandmother died of an Ecstasy overdose.

She must be rolling in her grave.

I just found out that the mascot for a famous brand of baked goods overdosed on opiates.

Pills bury doughboy.

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Did you hear about the guy who died of a viagra overdose?

Terrible news. Really shocking.

Apparently, his girlfriend took it very hard.

Mike Tyson recently recovered from a meth overdose and was interviewed upon his exit from the hospital.

When asked about the full story, he responded with,

"I was really methed up at the time"

A paramedic was called out to a vegan couple who'd overdosed on vegetables

The first thing he did was take their pulses

What do you call a father that overdosed on ecstasy?

Dad with an E.

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An apple a day keeps a doctor away!

I'm buying one apple every day to keep myself healthy

Punchlines:
1) Probably should be eating them, not just buying.

/

2) At the end of the week I'm throwing out apple puree.

/

3) So far I have 148 apples at my house, any ideas what to do next?

/

...

My mate Gav overdosed on heart burn tablets

I cant believe Gav is gone.

Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine?

A mental hospital

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Hey buddy, I heard your pops died. I’m sorry for your loss. What happened?

Buddy: Viagra overdose

Me: …it must’ve been really hard for your mother

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A woman calls 911 and paramedics rush her unconscious husband to the hospital She limps into the ER as the nurses wheel him in on a stretcher,

his enormous erection clearly visible under the sheet. The doctor runs some tests and says to her "Ma'am, it appears your husband overdosed on Viagra and is in a coma. How long has he been like this?"

"About 4 days" she replies

"4 days?! Why did you wait until now to get help?"

...

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A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

Dead Uncle

It's almost been a year since my uncle died due to an overdose of indigestion tablets.


I still can't believe Gav is gone.

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and trie...

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)

Last night my friend Gavin overdosed on heart burn medicine......

I can't believe Gaviscon.

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A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him.

Hey. How's it going?

Not good. I just found out I'm in hell.

I know we have a bad reputation but it's not that bad. It's actually quite fun down here. Did you ever drink when you were alive?

Of course.

Well, Mondays, you can drink as much as you ...

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