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Overdose Jokes

Why did the drug addict suffer an overdose of cocaine?

Because he crossed the line...

I actually overdosed on anxiety pills a few minutes ago

I’m not too worried about it

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A man died of Viagra overdose...

His favorite movie always had been "Die Hard".

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy"

Credit to my friend Chris

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What’s the shitiest drug to overdose on?

Laxatives

How do you prevent a morphine overdose?

Use lessphine.

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I overdosed on viagra once

Hardest day of my life.

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I overdosed on viagra

I'm ok... My wife took it pretty hard though

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viagra overdose

grandpa became a die hard fan of viagra ever since he overdosed on it

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My friends father died of Viagra overdose....

Whole family was devastated, but his mother took it the hardest.

Mitch Hedberg died of a drug overdose...

Which means the drugs came from Mexico. Otherwise, he would've over-two'd.

What’s the difference between a heroin overdose and a shotgun suicide?

Heroin addicts feel great after they shoot themselves.

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Grandpa overdosed on Viagra

I’m sure this is hard for you.

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Did you hear about the guy that died from Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his coffin.

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My friend died of an overdose of Viagra.

Took them 2 days to shut the coffin lid..

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Bruce Willis dead at age 63 of viagra overdose.

He died hard.

My uncle recently overdosed on protein powder

What a whey to go

A stoner died from a heroin overdose last night.

The paramedics did everything they could but it was all in vein.

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I tried to overdose Viagra.

But apparently whatever doesn't kill you only makes you harder.

What is the antidote they use for an overdose of Ritalin called?

RitalOut.



Thanks, I'll show myself out...

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If you overdose on Viagra...

Do you "die hard"?

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Breaking News: Elderly nuns commit suicide by viagra overdose

Old habits die hard.

Did you hear Mike Tyson had a drug overdose...

He was pretty methed up.

My son (who is into astronomy) asked me “How do stars die?”

Being the intellectual I am I replied “Usually through an overdose”

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My grandfather overdosed on Viagra the other day.

My grandma took it pretty hard that night; the next morning and all day long!

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My penis fell off due to an overdose of steroids...

Anabolic? Nah, just the dick.

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What's a treatment for viagra overdose and also a software company?

Ubisoft.

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I accidentally overdosed on Viagra...

... and discovered a completely new way to pick my nose.

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I was fucking worried when my son overdosed on cocaine.

But thankfully he hadn't used any of my stuff.

Did you hear about the guy that overdosed on his homeopathy pills?

He forgot to take them.

I was so sad when I heard Whitney Houston overdosed on cocaine

AND DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEIIIIIIIIIIEED

I put my body to the test and accidentally overdosed on hallucinogenics.

Sure, I died, but I passed with flying colors!

My Grandmother died of an Ecstasy overdose.

She must be rolling in her grave.

What do you call marijuana overdose?

Blunt-force trauma

Recently a man died of an overdose of homeopathic medicine...

...he forgot to take his pill.

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A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him.

Hey. How's it going?

Not good. I just found out I'm in hell.

I know we have a bad reputation but it's not that bad. It's actually quite fun down here. Did you ever drink when you were alive?

Of course.

Well, Mondays, you can drink as much as you ...

If you overdose on drugs you don’t go to Heaven or Hell...

You go to Percatory

I walked up to a girl and said, "If you were a drug, I would overdose!"

She said, "Thanks."

I said, "Then you wouldn't be able to ruin my life any more."

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Last week I thought I took a fatal overdose of Viagra

But don't worry, I'm okay now.

But my wife -- she took it pretty hard.

My mate Gav overdosed on heart burn tablets

I cant believe Gav is gone.

What do you call a father that overdosed on ecstasy?

Dad with an E.

I got a call from the doctor saying my buddy nearly overdosed on his homeopathic medicine.

Turns out he had forgotten to take it.

*Alternate punchline:* His family and several witnesses later disputed this, arguing the actual problem was him nearly drowning.

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Did you hear about the guy who died of a viagra overdose?

Terrible news. Really shocking.

Apparently, his girlfriend took it very hard.

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)

I lost my good mate Gav yesterday due to an overdose of heartburn tablets

I can't believe gavisgon.

Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine?

A mental hospital

What is it called when someone overdoses on ecstasy?

Kill-joy

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Hey buddy, I heard your pops died. I’m sorry for your loss. What happened?

Buddy: Viagra overdose

Me: …it must’ve been really hard for your mother

Dead Uncle

It's almost been a year since my uncle died due to an overdose of indigestion tablets.


I still can't believe Gav is gone.

I just found out that the mascot for a famous brand of baked goods overdosed on opiates.

Pills bury doughboy.

Mike Tyson recently recovered from a meth overdose and was interviewed upon his exit from the hospital.

When asked about the full story, he responded with,

"I was really methed up at the time"

Need your advice

Grew up with very large ears and have always been conscious of them.

Couldn’t afford to get Otoplasty so I signed up for an experimental procedure that involved growing a new pair of ears on my body which would replace the old ones with a much more affordable surgical “cut and stitch” proced...

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A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is dri...

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and trie...

Last night my friend Gavin overdosed on heart burn medicine......

I can't believe Gaviscon.

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A woman calls 911 and paramedics rush her unconscious husband to the hospital

She limps into the ER as the nurses wheel him in on a stretcher, his enormous erection clearly visible under the sheet. The doctor runs some tests and says to her "Ma'am, it appears your husband overdosed on Viagra and is in a coma. How long has he been like this?"

"About 4 days" she repli...

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3 surgeons walk into a pub...

...The first claims to be the best surgeon of Texas: "the world's best piano player lost 7 fingers in an accident. I sewed them back on and yesterday, he played a private concert for the queen of England."

The second one answeres: "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and both legs in a...

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An apple a day keeps a doctor away!

I'm buying one apple every day to keep myself healthy

Punchlines:
1) Probably should be eating them, not just buying.

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2) At the end of the week I'm throwing out apple puree.

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3) So far I have 148 apples at my house, any ideas what to do next?

/

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