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Salaries Jokes

A priest and a rabbi are chatting about their salaries...

The priest asks the rabbi, "do you get paid for the circumcisions you do?"

The rabbi replies, "no, I just keep the tips."

Types of salaries

* The onion salary - the moment you touch it, you start crying

* The damned salary - it doesn't help you at all, it makes you suffer, but you can't live without it

* The agnostic salary - you doubt its existence

* The magic salary - now you see it, now you don't

* The per...

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are deciding what portion of the tithe they will get for their salaries.

The pastor says, “I have an idea” and takes off his belt and lays it on the ground. He then says, “Okay. So we throw the tithe up in the air and whatever lands inside this belt is our salary.”
The Priest says, “Nonsense. When we throw the tithe up in the air, whatever lands outside the belt wi...

People used to be a lot more optimistic in the past, but things have taken quite a turn haven't they. The economy's uncertain, salaries are shrinking, jobs are dissipating. Morale is generally quite low nowadays.

If the elevator were invented today, it would be called the plunger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A small business owner in financial trouble was told by his accountant that he needed to cut staff

The accountant said, "Jack and Susan have the highest salaries, so one of them will have to be laid off."

The owner replied, "Susan is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'll have to think this over, and maybe discuss it with both of them."


The next morning, the o...

On a cold winter day....

....31st December 2009, the employees of a company received the following message "While the company recognises your invaluable services, we are sorry to inform that we would be able to pay your salaries only next year". Shocked on seeing this, the employees contacted the salary section of the finan...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Takes place during the Great Depression.

A man and his wife were barely scraping by on their combined salaries, but they weren’t making enough to make ends meet. One night, they lay in bed hungry after skipping supper. Now the woman had an idea, but she didn’t think her husband would approve of it. She turned to the man and said,
“Why ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do children and grades have in common?

They're both fucking hard to raise

...just like your salaries.

[Long] A successful man, working as a sales representative...

...in a large company, tells his boss one day, “If you want me to continue working for you, I need a 20% raise.
You have 24 hours to give me an answer.
I have four companies chasing me, so let me know your decision”.

The boss is alarmed. “In this recession, a 20 percent raise?
So...

The successful entrepreneur was constantly in demand for after-dinner speeches and could never find the time to prepare his own material.

His assistant always wrote the speech. It was at the annual conference that he was called upon to give encouragement to small businesses.
After the meal, the entrepreneur stood up to address the audience. "Ladies and gentleman. There are three main areas of tension in today's small businesses. T...

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