Wages Jokes

Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours... read more

But after taxes, it’s just a tired feeling.

Do women get paid 30% less death?

I guess it's true that thyme is money

Manager: '' So you will start at $15 a hour and later you could earn at least $20 a hour. ''

Applicant: ''Alright then I'll be back later! ''

I said, "Because I'm allergic to peanuts."

To the snow bank.

I think I'll enjoy getting a sprig of parsley in my paycheck.

His face was angry when he got inside the pub. His friends asked him what was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” He exclaimed. “ What’s wrong is that I just found an entire pay packet.”

“Sucks for them, but good for you. What wrong with that, though?”

“Look at how much tax they had to pay.”

Their boss had garnished their wages

...that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a whe... read more

I said "Congratulations!!!"

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

“I will grant you three wishes of anything your heart desires” says the genie, “but know that your ex will receive twice whatever you wish for”


Ok, I’m losing my dream home, I wish for the most glorious mansion complete with staff to serve my every whim.


DONE! You are the o... read more

Many people thought it was the unhappy employees. Many thought it was the low wages.

But the truth is, they just couldn't keep up with the inflation.

"How much did it cost?" she asked in a flash.

"£300," I told her.

"£300?!" she fumed. "You said you were going to spend a month's wages!"

"I didn't say it was going to be *my* month's wages."

Their wages were garnished.

After the palace meteorologist assured them there was no chance of rain, the King and the Queen went fishing.

On the way, they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and they asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesties, you should return to the palace... read more

can they garnish his wages?

The politician had a neighbor who was in charge of a charity that was struggling for funds. After seeing the politician’s tax returns, he saw a golden opportunity, and immediately went over and knocked on the politician’s door.

“All right, I can see from your tax returns that you make $500,00... read more

They’d start garnishing his wages.

They didn't fire him exactly, but they did garnish his wages.

The  religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at  church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.
However, the atheist's had a good life. An excellent, well-paid job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious  man's job was stres... read more

turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.

They had to [garnish](http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/garnish) his wages.

Is it legal for them to garnish his wages?

A maid wanted a salary raise. Madam
wanted 3 reasons why she wanted a raise.
Maid: I can cook Better than you.
Madam: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told me.
Madam: OK, second reason?
Maid: I can iron better than you.
Madam: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told m... read more

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.

One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.

Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the re... read more

But those were hard times. Money was scarce. Jobs weren't easy to get. So, he applied to work as a worker in a dairy factory, coz who doesn't want to have milk, but soon realised with his monthly wages, it'll take him 10 years to save enough money for the car.

Next, he applied in a newspaper ... read more

This triangular lake was quite large; so large, in fact, that three separate kingdoms were built on each side of this lake. These kingdoms were very different one from another.
The first kingdom was the richest - smooth stone walls built like a fortress, lavish houses for all, and a generous king... read more

Dan, my brightest student, wrote a brilliant essay about how wages and labor are balanced to ensure that a vendor sells his product at a competitive price. I gave him A marks.

Emily wrote an essay that touched upon the fundamentals, but didn't really explain the concepts with the quality and ... read more

Too much money funneled into replacement deathstars, storm trooper wages and empire taxes.

He decides that in order to retire comfortably he needs to find a steady well paid job.

He goes out and tries his hand at baking, banking, and various other occupations. Finally he settles on c... read more