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Outloud Jokes

In my Science class we were talking about Kinetic and Potential energy. I said outloud "No wonder my mom calls me Kinetic"

"Because I have no Potential"

[Read This Outloud and fast To a Friend and See if they're smart and good listeners]

Three Buildings that are next to each other all caught on fire at the same time. The first building has children inside of it, the Second building has About to be extinct animals and the cure too cancer and finally the third building has Old people. The ambulance quickly arrives... which Building wo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest is on his way to visit a sick parishioner....

He comes upon a small boy squishing ants with his thumb. Each time he squishes one, outloud he says "Fuckin' ants".

The priest tells him he's going to visit someone and on his way back while he's gone he wants the youth to think of three things God put on earth which are of no use.

On...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of Old Ladys are sitting outside of their retirement home, smoking cigarettes

when it suddenly starts to rain, just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy.

The first old lady pulls out her little umbrella and awkwardly holds it up abover her as she puffs away on her cigarette.

The second old lady pulls out a condom, tears a hole at the tip with her teeth and procee...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man who abuses women goes to hell.

When he gets there, there's a row of giant demons with 18 inch dicks. A voice says "please proceed forward. Stop at every demon. When you get to the end you will be judged." So he goes to the first demon who proceeds to fuck him in the ass. The demon punches him in the face when it's over. He proce...

Kid: Dad, I need to fix my bike tire, it's flat. Dad: Kiddo, you need a henway for that. Kid: What's a henway?

About three pounds.


(read outloud)

What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common?

They both think outloud.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

(say outloud)

With little knotsies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman sees her Chinese doctor...

A woman sees her Chinese love doctor, Dr. Chen, after she hasn't been able to find a date for over two years.

The woman says, "Dr. Chen, I'm desparate. I can't find a date for the life of me! Can you check if there is anything wrong with me?"

Dr. Chen replies in his thick Chinese acce...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Leprechaun Nun

Father O'Malley was walking through the fields in Belfast when he looked down and saw a four leaf clover. He picked it and spoke outloud "This must be me lucky day!" Then a Leprechaun came out from behind a tree and stood before him. "Oh it is me lucky day! Do I get a wish now?"

The Leprechau...

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