My earliest memory of my mother is playing hide and seek with her, I would be sat peering out of the oven window and she would say...

"Your getting warmer"...

My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye doctor when I was 8.

Life before that is a blur.

the earliest computer dates back to adam and eve

it was an apple,just one byte and everything crashed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend and I discussed the earliest known sex joke.

The Big Bang theory

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which creature loses it's virginity the earliest?

A chicken. It gets laid at birth.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother’s face through the oven window.

As we played hide and seek and she said: ‘you’re getting warmer’.

Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000

Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] My therapist asked me what was my earliest erotic remembrance and I told him it was wearing my mother's lingerie when I was a child.

he said it was probably a Freudian slip.

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:

These two:

"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."

"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."

How can you tell if a moth farts?

It flies straight for a moment.


(My earliest joke I can remember. Sorry if it’s a repost.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An office manager had money problems and had to fire one of two employees, either Jack or Jill.

He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early.

Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see wh...

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

A man comes home from work and checks his answering machine

There is a message from his doctor.

"Hello Mr. Stevens, this is Dr. Smith's office. We need to speak to you right away Please call back at your earliest convienence"

The man calls the doctor's office. The doctor answers.

The man says "Hello doc it's Jim Stevens. You left a mess...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins an online lottery of $5000 but finds out her entered the wrong email address.

He comes home disappointed and tells his son to send an email kindly requesting him to transfer all the money to his account, since he is the rightful recipient of the cash prize. However, his panic attack kicks in as he realizes he probably won't accept their request, and he tells his son to just s...

An American man was on business in Europe...

When he gets a call from his wifes lawyer saying she has found another man and wants a divorce. Upset, the man gets the earliest flight home which unfortunately crashes on a deserted island. While on the island the man sees a bottle sticking out of the sand. He picks it up, wipes it off and of co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the early days of aircraft, China was copying some American designs.

They bought one of the earliest gliders from the States and carefully took it apart. Measured dimensions of the wings and body, weighed every single part and even did some careful studies to determine the exact materials.

They put some of their best engineers on it to ensure all the maths che...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A novice is working in the scriptorium and he gets to wondering . . .

. . . if he is copying copies of copies of copies of copies, might errors have crept in somewhere. So he asks the abbot, who concedes the point, and descends to the manuscript repository to find the earliest copy of the MS in question.

The novice waits patiently, but the abbot is gone an awf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why dont you need birth controls when having sex with British boys?

They are the earliest to pull out of eu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a ton of people go in for a job interview and the final two prospects are...[racist?][dirty]

...a Harvard grad, and a Polak.

Leaning toward no particular preference, the hiring manager decides to put them to a test. "You both have 30 minutes to write a poem," he says. "But the catch, is that it has to end in Timbuktu. The best poem gets the job." Both men accept the instructions and ...

Job Application Humor

========================================================================

Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ...

===============================================...

A sufficiently advanced society has synthesized all human knowledge

in pill form. So an undergraduate goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist if he has history, economics, and literature. The pharmacist disappears into the back. When he returns, he has three little boxes and says

"Here, take this purple one for all of human history—from the origins all...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.