I’m reading a horror novel in Braille

Something bad is about to happen....I can feel it

How come the novel never went to work?

Because it had a weak end!

Guys, I don’t know about this novel coronavirus.......

I was never much of a reader, I think i’ll wait for the movie.

There have been countless people criticizing Donald Trump for his delayed reaction to the Novel Coronavirus

Probably could have gotten things going a lot quicker with a picturebook Coronavirus

Donald Trump has never finished reading a novel.

He can't make it passed chapter 11.

How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Why do they call it the novel Coronavirus?

It's a long story...

An old dime store novel writer walks into a saloon...

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

I’m writing a novel about a guy that can kill with words

Working title “Death Sentence”

Which is Coronavirus’ favorite novel?

Around the world in eighty days.

I wrote a 200,000 word novel about a French actor who is persecuted for his art.

It's called, "Mime and Punishment".

It's hard to establish when this novel Coronavirus will be over.

We'd have preferred a short story.

What would you call the Qur’an if it were a novel?

The Qur’anicles of Mohammad

What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?

In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wrote a novel about a man who grows younger every time he masturbates.

It's a coming of age story.

The other day I was on the beach reading a novel and sipping a Corona while wearing some Virus track pants.

Didnt understand what all the panic was about.

I was very confused.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing my first novel

It's about a biker gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs. I'm going to call the book The Bikings.

My jokes are like the Novel coronavirus

You might not get them right away, but they will hit you later.

I don't understand why everyone is so concerned about the Novel "Coronavirus"...

Personally, I'm waiting for Coronavirus the movie to come out before I make up my mind.

What's the difference between the 101st Airborne Division and the novel Coronavirus?

The Coronavirus is actually airborne.

My English teacher said I had to write 1000 words on the new Margaret Atwood novel

I managed about 50 before the librarian snatched it back off me

Every year since 2017, my New Year’s resolution is to not give up and continue to work on my novel.

Three years later and I’ve almost finished reading it!

I don't know why my mom's throwing Stephen King's novels at me.

IT just hit me.

Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.

The novel navel.

Have you heard about the next book in the trilogy Divergent?

I heard its called Detergent, a dishsoapian novel.

My wife said "Why don't you write a book instead of stupid word play jokes?"

I said, "That's a novel idea."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three old ladies

Three old ladies had just passed away and stood outside the gates to heaven speaking to the Almighty One. He looked at the three of them sternly and said: "If you're gonna be here, you should know that we only have one single rule here in heaven, but that one rule is extremely strict! You may NEVER,...

My breast wrote a novel about itself.

It's the titular character.

I was driving down the highway today and saw a woman in the lane next to me reading a novel while driving

I was so angry that I stopped texting and flipped her off

I realized that I get aroused when I read the last chapter of a novel.

I just came to the conclusion.

I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!"

I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

The circus arrives in town with a novel act - make the bull elephant kneel down and win $1000.

After watching various people trying everything Jimmy steps up to the elephant and gives it a mighty kick in the balls. The elephant collapses and its owner, cursing Jimmy's foul methods, hands over the cash.

The circus moves on to the next town and Jimmy, recognising a good opportunity, foll...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just read this strange new book about a dark blue star exploding out of a sailor's belly button

It's a novel naval navel navy nova novel

Nobody has written a novel about writing a novel.

It's a novel, novel novel idea.

What is a Finnish person's favorite novel?

East of Sweden

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend's writing an erotic novel about a sociopathic sex addict.

It's called 'Journal.'

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

After 3 years I finally finished my first novel.

I enjoyed it so much I might read another one.

Congratulations to the #1 best selling fiction novel!

Barely in front of the Bible, the Holy Quran makes it to the top this year!

I read a book instead of playing VR

It was a novel experience.

I wanna write a mystery novel

Or do i?

I have actually written one

Or have i?

I am sorry i wont do this again

Or wil i?

A man found out the Bee Gees, were writing a fictional novel.

"Do you guys need any help?" he asked.

"We know how to do it!" they responded.

"Not even with the character development?"

"We know how to show it!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yeah, I have a heroine addiction.

\*Pulls out young adult novel with a strong female figure\*

A prince which was in love with a princess was cursed by a witch so that he could only say 1 word each year, he didn´t speak for 4 years until he finally said "Princess, I love you" Then the princess looked at him and said

"What did you say?"







Btw, i took this from a novel i red so some might have heard it before.

In recent weeks, interest in reading long works of fiction has gone way down

Due to the novel coronavirus

A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

What is a Mexican's favorite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

I took a novel around Romania with me but it got tired.

So I gave the Bucharest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you read the new Oedipus and Midas crossover novel?

The reviews are saying it's pure motherfucking gold.

Brexit was similar to choosing your favorite Jane Austen novel.

Pride and Prejudice defeated Sense and Sensibility.

What's the best thing about COVID-19?

All these novel coronavirus jokes

Hey dad, wanna see my new book?

Yeah son, so long as it's not the novel coronavirus.

What do you call a 3-part novel about Michael Jackson?

A Thriller-gy

Why can't you own just one Stephen King novel?

Because 'Misery' loves company.

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Corona...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final.

Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn'...

What did John do when the dog ate his crime novel?

He stole the words right out of its mouth

What is the most popular novel in Mexico?

Tequila mocking bird

What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare.

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence:

Wuthering Flights.


(I do apologise for this)

I'm writing an erotic novel featuring tea and pastries.

I'm calling it "Romancing the Scone."

What do you get when you cross hard alcohol with a classic American novel?

Tequil-a Mockinbird

What's a Mexican's favourite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

I read a suspense novel about suicide.

The ending really left me hanging.

I wanted to share my novel based on the phone book over twitter

But it's got more than 140 characters

I was going to write a novel about an overcrowded cemetery.

But there was no plot

My wife said I’m not sophisticated.

I said, “that’s ridiculous, why, I’m reading a novel right now that’s full of subtext.

She was impressed and asked, “what novel?” I said, “The Hunt for Red October.”

I really hate stereotyping.

The novel my stereo typed was garbage.

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^♻

Was reading a book about this infection..

the novel corona virus

When people ask me what my favorite Stephen King novel is...

I've said it before and I'll say it again

Did you hear The Fonz wrote an erotic novel?

It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

What is ISIS' favorite novel?

Invitation to a Beheading.

I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...

....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.

A man has the opportunity to win a million dollars if he can cross lake Superior in a 16 foot sailboat...

The people sponsoring the challenge give the man two choices of what he can bring on the boat to assist him. He can either bring a large box of novels or two criminals. However, the people running the competition get to choose what the books are and who the criminals are.

The man realizes the...

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

When I was young, there were double novels...

books that had one story right side up on one side, one story upside down on the other side.

So I'm at a flea market and I find one of those old gems. I have to have it. I start reading and I'm loving it. Brought me back to my youth...until I realized someone tore out the middle page. Now I ...

I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out

But they were all booked

Stephen kings writing style is...

Novel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've read all of Charles Dickens's novels except one.

I don't have *Great Expectations*.

Did you read the novel about the US drug epidemic?

The heroin gets abused.

Being genetically engineered, evaluated, selected, and trained from birth to be a super-soldier...

before being deployed to a fight a technologically inferior foe in a far-off country to secure economic gains for your overseers, then being either left to die or executed for convenience, is either the plot of a dark and kickass dystopian fiction novel, or a technically accurate description of the ...

I'm writing a swiss novel

But there's a lot of plot holes.

What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to write a sexually charged novel with an FBI twist.

*Fifty Raids A Day*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What genre consists of erotic novels?

Cliterature

A man goes to the movies. . .

but when he sits down he notices that the person in the seat next to him looks like a penguin. with a bucket of popcorn on it's 'lap'.

Well, he can't believe his eyes since the cinema is dim and all that.

'It must be a kid in a costume' he thinks to himself.

But as he looks clos...

I was helping my grandpa fold some laundry yesterday and noticed something odd. On one shirt he had a silloutte of Sherlock Holmes, on another a picture of Harry Potter, on a third was printed an image of Frankenstein, and on a fourth, a girl who appeared to be Anne of Green Gables.

I asked my grandpa, "Are all these graphic shirts really yours?"

"Yes they are, " my grandpa replied sheepishly "I just can't resist buying novel tees."

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