I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog team up for a cross county adventure…

So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.

The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

I just read a novel that took place in the world's smallest graveyard

Honestly, it sucked. It didn't even have a plot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing a novel about a guy who grows younger every time he ejaculates.

It's a coming of age story.

Just read a Calvinist romance novel

It’s called “Irresistible Grace”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the medical student who wrote a porn novel?

It's called 50 Shades of Grey's Anatomy.

Ever since 2017, my New Year’s resolution has been to work on my novel.

Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!

They say Covid-19, the novel coronavirus is one of the worst things that's happened in recent years

But if you think this is bad, just wait till you see the movie adaptation!

I’m thinking of writing a mystery novel.

Or am I?

Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels.

T. Hanks: I hate It.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once read a novel about a man who becomes infatuated with a 60 year old former prostitute.

It's basically about a guy who falls for the oldest trick in the book.

Now that we’re almost done with the Novel Coronavirus,

When can I expect the movie adaptation

I’m reading a horror novel in Braille. Something bad is about to happen.

I can feel it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started?

It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.

How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

I wrote my first erotic novel

The characters were a bit disjointed but they all came together in the end

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was out by his barn, repairing a fence.

A young hen came near him, pecking at the ground. He was surprised when he thought he heard a “psst”. The farm looked around and saw no one, so he continued his work.

Then he heard it, clear as day. “Hey. Down here.”

The farmer looked down and saw the hen looking at him.

“Did y...

I read a novel about a cult that sacrifices books

It was a real page-burner

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne. "What are you celebrating?" the bartender asks. "I just got my first novel published," the guy announces. "It's a thriller about a flock of 2,000 mockingbirds." "What's it called?" "2 kilomockingbirds," the guy replies.

My favorite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

I tried reading Dostoevsky's novels in Chinese

But there were too many characters.

An old dime store novel writer walks into a saloon...

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

2020 is like living in the Stephen King novels The Stand and The Dead Zone at the same time.

If clowns show up next, that’s IT I’m outta here!

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

Have you heard about the new fiction novel coming this year?

Its the memoirs of Trumps presidency

You know that I can tell Donald Trump has never finished a novel...

He can't get past chapter 11

There have been countless people criticizing Donald Trump for his delayed reaction to the Novel Coronavirus

Probably could have gotten things going a lot quicker with a picturebook Coronavirus

Which is Coronavirus’ favorite novel?

Around the world in eighty days.

Guys, I don’t know about this novel coronavirus.......

I was never much of a reader, I think i’ll wait for the movie.

I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!"

I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

I’m writing a novel about a guy that can kill with words

Working title “Death Sentence”

It's hard to establish when this novel Coronavirus will be over.

We'd have preferred a short story.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend's writing an erotic novel about a sociopathic sex addict.

It's called 'Journal.'

The circus arrives in town with a novel act - make the bull elephant kneel down and win $1000.

After watching various people trying everything Jimmy steps up to the elephant and gives it a mighty kick in the balls. The elephant collapses and its owner, cursing Jimmy's foul methods, hands over the cash.

The circus moves on to the next town and Jimmy, recognising a good opportunity, foll...

What would you call the Qur’an if it were a novel?

The Qur’anicles of Mohammad

What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?

In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.

I wrote a 200,000 word novel about a French actor who is persecuted for his art.

It's called, "Mime and Punishment".

My jokes are like the Novel coronavirus

You might not get them right away, but they will hit you later.

[Nerd Joke Warning] What Tea makes you original?

Novel-tea

I was driving down the highway today and saw a woman in the lane next to me reading a novel while driving

I was so angry that I stopped texting and flipped her off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing my first novel

It's about a biker gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs. I'm going to call the book The Bikings.

My English teacher said I had to write 1000 words on the new Margaret Atwood novel

I managed about 50 before the librarian snatched it back off me

My breast wrote a novel about itself.

It's the titular character.

What's the difference between the 101st Airborne Division and the novel Coronavirus?

The Coronavirus is actually airborne.

I don't know why my mom's throwing Stephen King's novels at me.

IT just hit me.

I realized that I get aroused when I read the last chapter of a novel.

I just came to the conclusion.

Everyone is talking about this new novel Coronavirus

I've checked Amazon and all the bookstores near me but nobody has it.

Nobody has written a novel about writing a novel.

It's a novel, novel novel idea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

I wanna write a mystery novel

Or do i?

I have actually written one

Or have i?

I am sorry i wont do this again

Or wil i?

After 3 years I finally finished my first novel.

I enjoyed it so much I might read another one.

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

What is a Finnish person's favorite novel?

East of Sweden

What is a Mexican's favorite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you read the new Oedipus and Midas crossover novel?

The reviews are saying it's pure motherfucking gold.

What is the most popular novel in Mexico?

Tequila mocking bird

A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"

What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

Why can't you own just one Stephen King novel?

Because 'Misery' loves company.

What do you call a 3-part novel about Michael Jackson?

A Thriller-gy

What do you get when you cross hard alcohol with a classic American novel?

Tequil-a Mockinbird

Where did you get this mushroom recipe?

Husband asks his wife.

\- "In a detective novel." she answers.

I took a novel around Romania with me but it got tired.

So I gave the Bucharest

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

I'm writing an erotic novel featuring tea and pastries.

I'm calling it "Romancing the Scone."

My wife said, “Why don’t you stop with your terrible jokes and write a book instead?”

I said, “That’s .....a novel idea.”

They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel

52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility

What's a Mexican's favourite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

I read a suspense novel about suicide.

The ending really left me hanging.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Invitation

A writer decides to get away from it all so he can finish his novel undisturbed, so he rents an isolated cabin way up in the mountains and takes up residence in it. His closest neighbor is several miles away, but he does catch a glimpse of him from afar once in a while, when the neighbor is out hunt...

I wanted to share my novel based on the phone book over twitter

But it's got more than 140 characters

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare.

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence:

Wuthering Flights.


(I do apologise for this)

I was going to write a novel about an overcrowded cemetery.

But there was no plot

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^♻

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Party

After his divorce, Jeff rented a cabin in Montana for the summer to write his first novel. He got up each morning, made coffee, and would go outside and sit by a stream before going back in and writing all day. One August afternoon he was startled by a knock on the door.

“Hey,” said the man....

When people ask me what my favorite Stephen King novel is...

I've said it before and I'll say it again

I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...

....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.

What is ISIS' favorite novel?

Invitation to a Beheading.

You hear Harper Lee wrote a novel while drunk?

Tequila Mockingbird

A man who has been brought up elsewhere, returns to his ancestral village.

He had heard tales that the average IQ of the people of his village was pretty low, and so he wanted to find out for himself.

Near the outskirts of the village, he saw a man atop a branch of a tree imitating a racecar.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"Don't disturb me, I'm in a ...

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out

But they were all booked

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three old ladies

Three old ladies had just passed away and stood outside the gates to heaven speaking to the Almighty One. He looked at the three of them sternly and said: "If you're gonna be here, you should know that we only have one single rule here in heaven, but that one rule is extremely strict! You may NEVER,...

When I was young, there were double novels...

books that had one story right side up on one side, one story upside down on the other side.

So I'm at a flea market and I find one of those old gems. I have to have it. I start reading and I'm loving it. Brought me back to my youth...until I realized someone tore out the middle page. Now I ...

A prince which was in love with a princess was cursed by a witch so that he could only say 1 word each year, he didn´t speak for 4 years until he finally said "Princess, I love you" Then the princess looked at him and said

"What did you say?"







Btw, i took this from a novel i red so some might have heard it before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've read all of Charles Dickens's novels except one.

I don't have *Great Expectations*.

I'm writing a swiss novel

But there's a lot of plot holes.

Did you read the novel about the US drug epidemic?

The heroin gets abused.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yeah, I have a heroine addiction.

\*Pulls out young adult novel with a strong female figure\*

What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What genre consists of erotic novels?

Cliterature

A man has the opportunity to win a million dollars if he can cross lake Superior in a 16 foot sailboat...

The people sponsoring the challenge give the man two choices of what he can bring on the boat to assist him. He can either bring a large box of novels or two criminals. However, the people running the competition get to choose what the books are and who the criminals are.

The man realizes the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just read this strange new book about a dark blue star exploding out of a sailor's belly button

It's a novel naval navel navy nova novel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to write a sexually charged novel with an FBI twist.

*Fifty Raids A Day*

Have you heard about the next book in the trilogy Divergent?

I heard its called Detergent, a dishsoapian novel.

Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.

The novel navel.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.