I’m reading a horror novel in Braille. Something bad is about to happen.

I can feel it.

My favorite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started?

It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.

Did you hear about the crime-fighting vigilante who retired to write crime novels?

She's now a writer of wrongs

I'm proud to announce that I'm 55 and I just completed my first novel!

I'd read other things before, but this was my first chapter book.

2020 is like living in the Stephen King novels The Stand and The Dead Zone at the same time.

If clowns show up next, that’s IT I’m outta here!

I tried reading Dostoevsky's novels in Chinese

But there were too many characters.

There have been countless people criticizing Donald Trump for his delayed reaction to the Novel Coronavirus

Probably could have gotten things going a lot quicker with a picturebook Coronavirus

Guys, I don’t know about this novel coronavirus.......

I was never much of a reader, I think i’ll wait for the movie.

Donald Trump has never finished reading a novel.

He can't make it passed chapter 11.

Which is Coronavirus’ favorite novel?

Around the world in eighty days.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

An old dime store novel writer walks into a saloon...

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

I’m writing a novel about a guy that can kill with words

Working title “Death Sentence”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wrote a novel about a man who grows younger every time he masturbates.

It's a coming of age story.

I wrote a 200,000 word novel about a French actor who is persecuted for his art.

It's called, "Mime and Punishment".

It's hard to establish when this novel Coronavirus will be over.

We'd have preferred a short story.

My jokes are like the Novel coronavirus

You might not get them right away, but they will hit you later.

Every year since 2017, my New Year’s resolution is to not give up and continue to work on my novel.

Three years later and I’ve almost finished reading it!

Everyone is talking about this new novel Coronavirus

I've checked Amazon and all the bookstores near me but nobody has it.

What would you call the Qur’an if it were a novel?

The Qur’anicles of Mohammad

What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?

In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.

I don't understand why everyone is so concerned about the Novel "Coronavirus"...

Personally, I'm waiting for Coronavirus the movie to come out before I make up my mind.

What's the difference between the 101st Airborne Division and the novel Coronavirus?

The Coronavirus is actually airborne.

My English teacher said I had to write 1000 words on the new Margaret Atwood novel

I managed about 50 before the librarian snatched it back off me

I don't know why my mom's throwing Stephen King's novels at me.

IT just hit me.

My wife said, “Why don’t you stop with your terrible jokes and write a book instead?”

I said, “That’s .....a novel idea.”

I was driving down the highway today and saw a woman in the lane next to me reading a novel while driving

I was so angry that I stopped texting and flipped her off

I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!"

I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

My breast wrote a novel about itself.

It's the titular character.

The circus arrives in town with a novel act - make the bull elephant kneel down and win $1000.

After watching various people trying everything Jimmy steps up to the elephant and gives it a mighty kick in the balls. The elephant collapses and its owner, cursing Jimmy's foul methods, hands over the cash.

The circus moves on to the next town and Jimmy, recognising a good opportunity, foll...

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The Party

After his divorce, Jeff rented a cabin in Montana for the summer to write his first novel. He got up each morning, made coffee, and would go outside and sit by a stream before going back in and writing all day. One August afternoon he was startled by a knock on the door.

“Hey,” said the man....

A man who has been brought up elsewhere, returns to his ancestral village.

He had heard tales that the average IQ of the people of his village was pretty low, and so he wanted to find out for himself.

Near the outskirts of the village, he saw a man atop a branch of a tree imitating a racecar.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"Don't disturb me, I'm in a ...

I realized that I get aroused when I read the last chapter of a novel.

I just came to the conclusion.

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My girlfriend's writing an erotic novel about a sociopathic sex addict.

It's called 'Journal.'

Nobody has written a novel about writing a novel.

It's a novel, novel novel idea.

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Three old ladies

Three old ladies had just passed away and stood outside the gates to heaven speaking to the Almighty One. He looked at the three of them sternly and said: "If you're gonna be here, you should know that we only have one single rule here in heaven, but that one rule is extremely strict! You may NEVER,...

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

What is a Finnish person's favorite novel?

East of Sweden

After 3 years I finally finished my first novel.

I enjoyed it so much I might read another one.

Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.

The novel navel.

Have you heard about the next book in the trilogy Divergent?

I heard its called Detergent, a dishsoapian novel.

I wanna write a mystery novel

Or do i?

I have actually written one

Or have i?

I am sorry i wont do this again

Or wil i?

Congratulations to the #1 best selling fiction novel!

Barely in front of the Bible, the Holy Quran makes it to the top this year!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just read this strange new book about a dark blue star exploding out of a sailor's belly button

It's a novel naval navel navy nova novel

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

I took a novel around Romania with me but it got tired.

So I gave the Bucharest

What is a Mexican's favorite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you read the new Oedipus and Midas crossover novel?

The reviews are saying it's pure motherfucking gold.

A prince which was in love with a princess was cursed by a witch so that he could only say 1 word each year, he didn´t speak for 4 years until he finally said "Princess, I love you" Then the princess looked at him and said

"What did you say?"







Btw, i took this from a novel i red so some might have heard it before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yeah, I have a heroine addiction.

\*Pulls out young adult novel with a strong female figure\*

What would you title a novel about a rebellious Asian teenager?

The Catcher in the Rice

Brexit was similar to choosing your favorite Jane Austen novel.

Pride and Prejudice defeated Sense and Sensibility.

Why can't you own just one Stephen King novel?

Because 'Misery' loves company.

I read a book instead of playing VR

It was a novel experience.

What do you call a 3-part novel about Michael Jackson?

A Thriller-gy

What is the most popular novel in Mexico?

Tequila mocking bird

What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

I was listening to a Stephen King novel on my wife’s audiobook, and it accidentally broke.

Now I’ll never hear the end of It.

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare.

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence:

Wuthering Flights.


(I do apologise for this)

I'm writing an erotic novel featuring tea and pastries.

I'm calling it "Romancing the Scone."

What do you get when you cross hard alcohol with a classic American novel?

Tequil-a Mockinbird

In recent weeks, interest in reading long works of fiction has gone way down

Due to the novel coronavirus

What's a Mexican's favourite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

I read a suspense novel about suicide.

The ending really left me hanging.

What's the best thing about COVID-19?

All these novel coronavirus jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final.

Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn'...

I wanted to share my novel based on the phone book over twitter

But it's got more than 140 characters

I was going to write a novel about an overcrowded cemetery.

But there was no plot

Hey dad, wanna see my new book?

Yeah son, so long as it's not the novel coronavirus.

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Corona...

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^♻

Did you hear The Fonz wrote an erotic novel?

It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

When people ask me what my favorite Stephen King novel is...

I've said it before and I'll say it again

I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...

....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

When I was young, there were double novels...

books that had one story right side up on one side, one story upside down on the other side.

So I'm at a flea market and I find one of those old gems. I have to have it. I start reading and I'm loving it. Brought me back to my youth...until I realized someone tore out the middle page. Now I ...

I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out

But they were all booked

A man has the opportunity to win a million dollars if he can cross lake Superior in a 16 foot sailboat...

The people sponsoring the challenge give the man two choices of what he can bring on the boat to assist him. He can either bring a large box of novels or two criminals. However, the people running the competition get to choose what the books are and who the criminals are.

The man realizes the...

Did you read the novel about the US drug epidemic?

The heroin gets abused.

I'm writing a swiss novel

But there's a lot of plot holes.

What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to write a sexually charged novel with an FBI twist.

*Fifty Raids A Day*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What genre consists of erotic novels?

Cliterature

I really hate stereotyping.

The novel my stereo typed was garbage.

My wife said I’m not sophisticated.

I said, “that’s ridiculous, why, I’m reading a novel right now that’s full of subtext.

She was impressed and asked, “what novel?” I said, “The Hunt for Red October.”

A Native American just published a novel

Critics consider it a Seminole work.

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