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I recently heard about a young adult novel in which Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog team up for a cross country adventure…

So, I headed down to the library with my daughter to see if they had a copy.

The librarian said the description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not..

I was surprised to see that the first chapter of the otherwise English novel was written entirely in Spanish

But then again, no one expects the Spanish exposition.

Have you read the new calculus novel?

I thought it was pretty derivative.

Saw a man in a parking lot throwing Stephen King novels at people

I couldn't figure out why. Then It hit me.

How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the porn star’s favorite classic novel?

It’s entitled “Catch Her In The Eye.”

I've been reading a horror novel in braille.

Something bad is about to happen.

I can feel it.

I was walking past a movie theater showing "The Black Phone" and some guy standing out front was saying, "Stephen King is my dad and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!" I said to him...

"Surely you must be Joe."

My self-published novel

Isn’t going to publish itself.

What do you call a dinosaur that writes romance novels?

A Brontë-saurus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing a novel about a guy who grows younger every time he ejaculates.

It's a coming of age story.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took a few pages from Moby Dick and boiled them to see what it tasted like.

It was just okay, but I might not do it again. It was a novel tea.

A chicken goes into the library, walks up to the librarian, and says, “Book.”

The librarian says, “You want a book?”

“Book.”

“Any book?”

“Book.”

So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off it goes. An hour later the chicken comes back and says, “Bookbook.”

The librarian says, “Now you want two books?”

“Book-book.”

So she...

Ever since 2017, my New Year’s resolution has been to work on my novel.

Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!

I tried reading Dostoevsky's novels in Chinese

But there were too many characters.

I’m thinking of writing a mystery novel.

Or am I?

I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

I just read a novel that took place in the world's smallest graveyard

Honestly, it sucked. It didn't even have a plot.

i picked up this copy of the Iliad the other day...

I picked what I thought was a copy of the Iliad the other day. But when I started reading it, I saw someone had just slapped the dust cover from The Iliad on a YA Fantasy novel based upon Greek Mythology. That's when I realized I had been RickRiordaned.

Which is Coronavirus’ favorite novel?

Around the world in eighty days.

Just read a Calvinist romance novel

It’s called “Irresistible Grace”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the medical student who wrote a porn novel?

It's called 50 Shades of Grey's Anatomy.

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If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started?

It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

There have been countless people criticizing Donald Trump for his delayed reaction to the Novel Coronavirus

Probably could have gotten things going a lot quicker with a picturebook Coronavirus

Now that we’re almost done with the Novel Coronavirus,

When can I expect the movie adaptation

I wrote my first erotic novel

The characters were a bit disjointed but they all came together in the end

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My girlfriend's writing an erotic novel about a sociopathic sex addict.

It's called 'Journal.'

Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels.

T. Hanks: I hate It.

My wife: Instead of thinking about stupid jokes all day, why don’t you write a book instead?

Me: That’s…..a novel idea.

They say Covid-19, the novel coronavirus is one of the worst things that's happened in recent years

But if you think this is bad, just wait till you see the movie adaptation!

2020 is like living in the Stephen King novels The Stand and The Dead Zone at the same time.

If clowns show up next, that’s IT I’m outta here!

The circus arrives in town with a novel act - make the bull elephant kneel down and win $1000.

After watching various people trying everything Jimmy steps up to the elephant and gives it a mighty kick in the balls. The elephant collapses and its owner, cursing Jimmy's foul methods, hands over the cash.

The circus moves on to the next town and Jimmy, recognising a good opportunity, foll...

You know that I can tell Donald Trump has never finished a novel...

He can't get past chapter 11

Have you heard about the new fiction novel coming this year?

Its the memoirs of Trumps presidency

My favorite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

I read a novel about a cult that sacrifices books

It was a real page-burner

I’m writing a novel about a guy that can kill with words

Working title “Death Sentence”

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

What would you call the Qur’an if it were a novel?

The Qur’anicles of Mohammad

What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?

In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.

I was driving down the highway today and saw a woman in the lane next to me reading a novel while driving

I was so angry that I stopped texting and flipped her off

My jokes are like the Novel coronavirus

You might not get them right away, but they will hit you later.

It's hard to establish when this novel Coronavirus will be over.

We'd have preferred a short story.

I realized that I get aroused when I read the last chapter of a novel.

I just came to the conclusion.

Nobody has written a novel about writing a novel.

It's a novel, novel novel idea.

My breast wrote a novel about itself.

It's the titular character.

I wrote a 200,000 word novel about a French actor who is persecuted for his art.

It's called, "Mime and Punishment".

I wanna write a mystery novel

Or do i?

I have actually written one

Or have i?

I am sorry i wont do this again

Or wil i?

What is a Mexican's favorite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird

My English teacher said I had to write 1000 words on the new Margaret Atwood novel

I managed about 50 before the librarian snatched it back off me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing my first novel

It's about a biker gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs. I'm going to call the book The Bikings.

After 3 years I finally finished my first novel.

I enjoyed it so much I might read another one.

What is the most popular novel in Mexico?

Tequila mocking bird

What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

What is a Finnish person's favorite novel?

East of Sweden

A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"

I don't understand why everyone is so concerned about the Novel "Coronavirus"...

Personally, I'm waiting for Coronavirus the movie to come out before I make up my mind.

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

Nerdy physics and psychology joke thought I'd share.

I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. Sounded good so I decided to go down to the library to see if they've got it. Looked around and couldn't see it so I asked the librarian if they have it in, she repl...

Why can't you own just one Stephen King novel?

Because 'Misery' loves company.

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

What do you get when you cross hard alcohol with a classic American novel?

Tequil-a Mockinbird

They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel

52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility

I'm writing an erotic novel featuring tea and pastries.

I'm calling it "Romancing the Scone."

What do you call a 3-part novel about Michael Jackson?

A Thriller-gy

What's a Mexican's favourite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

What did John do when the dog ate his crime novel?

He stole the words right out of its mouth

I read a suspense novel about suicide.

The ending really left me hanging.

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^♻

I was going to write a novel about an overcrowded cemetery.

But there was no plot

I wanted to share my novel based on the phone book over twitter

But it's got more than 140 characters

What's the difference between a poorly designed user interface and Georges Perec's novel A Void?

One is known for a lack of ease of use and the other for a lack of use of e's!

When people ask me what my favorite Stephen King novel is...

I've said it before and I'll say it again

I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...

....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare.

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence:

Wuthering Flights.


(I do apologise for this)

I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out

But they were all booked

What is ISIS' favorite novel?

Invitation to a Beheading.

I'm writing a swiss novel

But there's a lot of plot holes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was out by his barn, repairing a fence.

A young hen came near him, pecking at the ground. He was surprised when he thought he heard a “psst”. The farm looked around and saw no one, so he continued his work.

Then he heard it, clear as day. “Hey. Down here.”

The farmer looked down and saw the hen looking at him.

“Did y...

What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

Doctor Doctor

A newly graduated doctor opened a clinic with a novel idea to bring in patients. If he were able to solve the patient’s problem he would charge them $500. However, if he couldn’t treat the patient, he would give them $1,000.


The new doctor was soon making more money than the old doctor’s ...

Did you read the novel about the US drug epidemic?

The heroin gets abused.

What do you call plagiarism of a novel written in prison?

A story taken out of con-text!

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to write a sexually charged novel with an FBI twist.

*Fifty Raids A Day*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What genre consists of erotic novels?

Cliterature

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