Grey Jokes

One is a color, and the other is a colour.

An irrelephant

So I took a photo of her hair!

#272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c... read more

An irrelephant

Beats me.

Because all proper tea is theft.

Elephants

I just didn’t expect it to be in my Big Mac

He runs Facebook.

Last time I ever eat Grandma's Christmas dinner

You get it from your children.

I just found out I'm colorblind today.

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmothe... read more

Just remember this helpful tip:
Europe=grEy, America=grAy.... and for the Canadians, grEHy

Barbed wire.

An albatross in a 747.

2 elephants hiding in a strawberry patch

There was once a naughty little girl who was always getting in trouble and she asked her mother one day "Mom, why is your hair turning grey?" And her mother replied "Every time you do something bad, I get another grey hair." The girl got a puzzled look on her face. A moment later, the girl starts ch... read more

Usually I wouldn't mind, but it was in my greggs pasty.

Because with tea, immoral acts become immortal acts!

An elephant with diarrhea

A parking lot.

They never get old!

A Boeing F/A-18E/F Super Hornet

Because..only the Sith deal in Absolut.

What surprised me was finding it in the McDonald's cheeseburger I had for lunch.

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss ask... read more

A baby bunny being discharged from my lawn mower.

For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college.

The look on their face while being nailed.

It’s Gonna Be May

He says "I'm the biggest and toughest piece of tarmac around, and I'll fight anybody in here."

The barman says "if you're so tough, go fight that red piece of tarmac over there."

The grey piece of tarmac looks over at the red piece of tarmac and says "I'm not fighting that guy, he's ... read more

Elephants

(Credit: "Afterlife" by Ricky Gervais)

A boy asked his dad "Why does hair turn grey?"

His dad considered his own grey hair and said "Son, everytime you do something shameful, I get a grey hair. Whenever you don't try your best, I get another grey hair. And when you don't listen to your parents, I get another grey hair!"

T... read more

A mouse on vacation

3 in 1

Light Grey

This comment has been overwritten and deleted forevermore by the user in response to the API changes June 2023.

Just sucks I couldn't hear the movie over all those goddamn bees in the theater

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find John sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your Missus into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and ... read more

His friend says, "Please come back to us."

The rabbit, formerly Jewish, says, "No, sorry, I don't believe anymore."

His friend grabs him by one arm and tugs, saying, "Come with me, come on! You have to join us down at the synagogue! You used to lead us and we miss you!"

Almost d... read more

An elephant in a washing machine.

EDIT: Thanks a million to everyone who upvoted. It's the first time I get these many. Oh, and by the way, the joke is stolen, it's a meme that has been going around for a while now, so... middle finger to all of you.

I don't know how you can get any more black and white than that.

Normally things like this don’t bother me, but I found it in my sausage and egg McMuffin.

It makes them think that Vintage Books will publish anything that gets sent to them.

A wolf. I threw in the cement to make it hard.

A castle.

A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.

When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

Girl 1: Hey have you read 50 shades of grey yet?
Girl 2: Yes! From cover to cover!
Girl 1: And the index?
Girl 2: Exhausted...

Man: Officer, my wife is missing. She went out yesterday and she hasn’t come home.

Officer: Okay, what’s her height?

Man: Not sure…. Maybe around 5’6?

Officer: Okay, weight?

Man: I dunno… not slim not big.

Officer: Okay… colour of her eyes?

Man: Sort of blue... read more

Cause it's what's on the inside that counts!

…but it wasn't my cup of tea.

An irrelephant.

She thought she would dye.

They should have added 19 more shades

An elephant.

Apologies if this is a repost - heard it yesterday and had to share.

Because I never dyed.

I got a B+ and the teacher left a note saying, "thank god you didn't actually read the book, though I loved your creativity stating Christian Grey had 49 other clones".