Why does Batman only wear dark colors?

Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.

Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot

I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom.....

Until they are flashing behind you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called when a chameleon can no longer change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

A man out shopping bought some new condoms.

When he got home, his wife noticed the brand. “Olympic condoms? What makes them so special?” she

asked.

“There are three colors,” he replied. “Gold, silver and bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asked.

“Gold, of course,” said the man.

“Really?...

I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit.

It was downhill from there.

I have a magic pen that can write any color.

Red, green, blue, yellow, and even words that aren’t colors.

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common?

The phone rings green....green.....green! So you pink it up and say yellow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

smelly and colored dick

One guy comes straight from a fast food restaurant with a hamburger in one hand and a cup of cola in the other. Equipped like this he goes straight to the toilet. Standing in there he tells another guy that he can't put his drink or his food down because of a lack of space. So he asks the other man ...

A woman has a failing marriage, and she feels bad about it.

Her husband won't listen to her or acknowledge her, or anything. All he does is sit on the couch watching football and waiting for meals. The woman decides to go to the pet store to find a pet.

At the store, she sees all sorts of animals, such as fish, dogs, cats, parrots, and even a horse. S...

Thankfully it's not another virus we have to worry about.

The police have found a large number of dead crows on the 101 just north of
Ventura early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed
the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
Th...

The royal calligrapher's apprentice.

In the late 1400s there was a young man named Pablo. He was apprenticed to the royal calligrapher for the king of Spain. One day the royal calligrapher gathered his apprentices for a lesson.

"Any letter penned for his majesty must be penned with Ink made here in Spain! It would be a trav...

I am really sad because my pet chameleon won’t change colors

I think he has ereptile dysfunction

They always told me to put 5 colors on my plate to stay healthy.

So how did I get diabetes on my M&M only diet?

A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside

She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free."
The farmer agrees.
The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet.
As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, ca...

Went to the doctor the other day after drinking a gallon of food coloring

I was peeing all these funny colors. He diagnosed me with a case of "dye urea".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An actor rehearsing on stage was going on and on about the colors "No, THIS is where you illuminate the stage with sunflower yellow, and HERE is when you fade to chartreuse!" he said, tapping emphatically on the manuscript. Opening day came, and the actor found himself now fully and completely in

The lemon-limelight

Science Trivia: What's it called when you see colors in the air that aren't actually there?

A pigment of your imagination

An arm with no body crawls into a military recruiting station.

The sergeant looks on in amazement as the arm hops onto his desk, grabs a pen and writes;

“I’m here to enlist!”

“You can’t enlist, you’re just an arm!”

The arm quickly wraps itself around the sergeant’s neck and puts him into a submission hold; letting him go just before he pas...

Why was the laundromat cancelled on Twitter?

For reminding people to separate whites from colors

I think my wife might be a segregationist.

She gets REALLY mad when I mix the whites and colors together.

A couple called in a contractor to do some updates to their house and landscape.

A couple called in a contractor to do some updates to their house and landscape. They all walk in to the bedroom and they tell him they were thinking about painting it blue because there's a baby boy on the way. He walks to the window and yells "Green side up!" The couple look at one another a bit c...

What do you call an upvote that changes colors ?

A karma chameleon

How do colors laugh?

Hue Hue Hue

So I went to do my driving test high on lsd

I passed with flying colors!

The two quotes that shows a person's true colors:

"It's just a game."

"Sir/Ma'am we ask u to wear ur mask."

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