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Colors Jokes

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside

She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free."
The farmer agrees.
The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet.
As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, ca...

What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors...

Because heroes never dye.

Did you hear about the guy that tells everyone what the colors on the graph mean?

That guy’s a legend.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom...

...until they are flashing behind you.

Last night my wife said she was divorcing me because I am always mixing up colors

This came out of the yellow

I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

Why are Knights always different colors?

Because they’re always annealing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

Honey, I just bought these special olympic style condoms!

Husband- "Honey, I just bought these special olympic style condoms!"

Wife- "Olympic style condoms, what makes them so speical?"

Husband- "They come in 3 colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze."

Wife- "Oo, sweet. What color are you gonna wear tonight?"

Husband- "Gold ofc!"
...

I'm really funny, people tell me my humour comes in all sorts of colors.

Someone suggested I should be a stand up chameleon.

Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.

Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.

What do you call a Chameleon that cant change colors?

A reptile dysfunction... [Bluechew review](https://www.thefate.org/bluechew-review/)

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common?

The phone rings green....green.....green! So you pink it up and say yellow.

I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit.

It was downhill from there.

Science Trivia: What's it called when you see colors in the air that aren't actually there?

A pigment of your imagination

They always told me to put 5 colors on my plate to stay healthy.

So how did I get diabetes on my M&M only diet?

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An actor rehearsing on stage was going on and on about the colors "No, THIS is where you illuminate the stage with sunflower yellow, and HERE is when you fade to chartreuse!" he said, tapping emphatically on the manuscript. Opening day came, and the actor found himself now fully and completely in

The lemon-limelight

The two quotes that shows a person's true colors:

"It's just a game."

"Sir/Ma'am we ask u to wear ur mask."

How do colors laugh?

Hue Hue Hue

I have a remarkable ability to see numbers as rainbow colors

But I can only count to seven

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My kids will be friends with people of all colors of the rainbow.

That means no black people.


(Credit goes to a person on either America's Got Talent or Britain's Got Talent, can't remember which)

An American patriot told me, “These colors don’t run.”

Well actually yes they do. Faster than anything else in the universe: the speed of light.

When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily.
“Gold of course...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man sits next to a young punk on a bench in the park (NSFW)

The punk has a mohawk 16 inches high and all different colors and the punk can just feel the old man staring at his hair. After a few minutes, the staring gets too much and the punk turns to the old man and says:

"What's the matter old man? Never did anything crazy before?"

The old man...

What's it called when a blonde colors their hair?

Artificial intelligence

When I was around 5, I asked mum why people were different colors...

She said because god wanted different flavors.

And that was the wrong thing to say, Because For the next 3 years, I thought god ate people after they died...

My chameleon couldn’t change colors, so I took him to the vet…

Poor guy was diagnosed with ereptile dysfunction.

My girlfriend just yelled at me to "seperate the whites from the colors!"

Yeah, racist as hell. If that's the way she's going to act, she can go to the laundromat alone next time.

I passed my kidney stones with flying colors!

But mostly red.

The other day, my wife asked me if I could help her with a puzzle. She couldn't find any edges to start with and the colors all resembled each other.

After taking a look at the puzzle, I told her to put the corn flakes back in the box

My wife told me her dreams were in vivid, but weird colors.

I told her it was just a pigment of her imagination.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher is helping her young students with their colors and shapes.

"Boys and Girls, I'm thinking of something round and red!" she says.

Julie's hand shoots up. "A cherry!!" she says, beaming.

"Noooooo," says the teacher, "It's an apple...But I'm glad you're thinking...... "

She smiles at the class. "Let's try another one!" she says. "I'm think...

The teacher said to use the colors green, yellow, and pink in a sentence.

The 1st student goes.."i like the colors green, yellow and pink"

the 2nd student goes.."the grass is green, sun is yellow, and my shirt is pink"

the 3rd one, an asian, goes.."my phone went green green so i pinked it up and said 'yellow?'"

I completed my karate exam with flying colors!

Black and blue that is.

What do you call a rainbow without any colors?

A plainbow.

Credit to my 6 year old.

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