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Roses Jokes

Roses are red,

Roses are red,

violets are red,

trees are red,

grass is red,



fu\*k my garden's on fire

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My girlfriend's vagina smells like roses....

But, Rose's is tighter...

Roses are red...

Violets are blue...

WOLOLOLOLOOO!!!!

Ah shucks now the roses are blue too!

Whats better than roses on a piano?

tulips on an organ...

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Roses are Red, Cacti are Thorny

When I’m around you, you make me very… happy!

I guess what I’m trying to say is aloe you very much.

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Roses are red, here's something new...

Violets are violet.
Not fucking blue.

Roses are dead, violets are dead

I'm a bad gardener

Roses are red, Cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I have a sideways toaster next to my name, Reddit you know what to do

Roses are brown, violets are grey

I just found out I'm colorblind today.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

When it comes to flower colours, the person who made this has no clue.

Roses are red,

My screen is blue, I think I deleted system32.

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Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

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Roses are red

Congress is red

The Senate is red

The White House is red

welp

Edit: insert communist pun here

Edit x2: what the fuck did i just get gold for this

Roses are red

Roses are red

People say I’m a prick

But I think you’ll like

My profile pic

Someone keeps sending me roses with the heads cut off

I think I'm being stalked

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A woman wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses careful...

Roses are red

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet

And so are you.

The roses have wilted

The violets are dead

The sugar bowl's empty

And so is your head.

Roses Are Red

Roses are red,

I like Darth Vader.

Poetry is hard,

calculator.

Roses are red...

Violets are glorious.

I wouldn't surprise

Oscar Pistorius.

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I came home from work with a bouquet of roses.

My wife looked at me suspiciously and said, "Have you done something wrong?"

I said, "...Yes."

She said, "What is it?"

I said, "Bought an ungrateful bitch flowers."

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Violets are green, roses are blue...

Alright you bastards, who fucked with the hue?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue

Hitler blew an 11 country lead during World War 2

Roses are red, reposting is lame,

But not every joke here is always the same.

A Buddhist monk goes to a barber to have his head shaved.

"What should I pay you?" the monk asks. "No price, for a holy man such as yourself," the barber replies. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones.


That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. "What shall I pay y...

Roses are red, April is grey, The next time you leave your house

It’s Gonna Be May

Roses are reddish...

Roses are reddish

Violets are bluish

If it weren't for Christmas

We'd all be Jewish

Roses are red, sorry for the Hypocrisy

But hey, we’ve updated our privacy policy

OC from my 10 yr old son: Why do women like roses?

Because they are pretty and hurt you.

Guns N’ Roses got their tour bus lifted

Axl Rose

“Roses are red, violets are red,

if you aren’t red, you get shot in the head.”

\-Stalin 1946

Roses are red, violets are green..

If you were on acid, you would know what I mean.

Roses are red

I forgot how to write poems

Roses are red, I've got a bad cough

Settings -> Notifications -> Trending -> **OFF**

Roses are Red, Reposters are lame

[This post has been removed due to a copyright claim.]

I bought my wife 12 dozen red roses but I don’t think she likes them.

She said that’s gross.

Roses are red,

Grass is greener,

When I'm with you,

I play with my wiener.

Roses are gray

Violets are gray

I'm color blind

And not very good at poetry

Roses are red

Nuts are brown

Skirts go up

Pants go down

Body to body Skin to skin

When its stiff

Stick it in

The Longer its in

The Stronger it gets

It goes in dry And comes out wet

It comes out dripping And starts to sag

Its not what you think....

Roses are crimson, violets are violet

I have an art degree...you want fries with that?

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Roses !

This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn’t care. She’s busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a...

ROSES & HANGING BASKETS

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date wearing a see-through blouse and no bra.

Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager said, 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' and out she goe...

Roses are red, violets are blue...

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.

That's why he passed Obamacare and th...

Lady Mary strolled down the path to where the young gardener was pruning the roses

"Hello, Thomas."

"Good morning, Your Ladyship."

"You know, Thomas, ever since you've come to work for us, I've been afraid that you would force me to kiss you," she said, conversationally.

"Oh, Your Ladyship, how could I do that with a pair of secateurs in one hand and a bag of ...

Roses aren’t red..

Violets are gray..
Ever since i looked at the at the sun, i have not been having a great day.

[spoilers] Roses are red, the sea's full of salt

Everyone's dead, It's all Star Lord's fault.

Roses are red

Violets are bluish
If it wasn’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish


I don’t know if this has been posted before but I heard it from one of my uncles.

Roses are red, violet's are blue

When I listen to rock music.
My neighbours do too.

Roses

An elderly couple are having dinner at another couple's house. After their meal, the wives went into the kitchen to do some washing up.

The two elderly guys were chatting, and one says, "Last night we went out to an amazing new restaurant that I'd, personally, recommend."

The other man...

Roses are Red, Chocolate is Brown..

My wife ate asparagus and wants me to go down.

 

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

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Women are like roses

They look and smell good but if you touch them wrong they’ll fucking stab you

Marvel endgame spoiler joke (roses are red)

Roses are red

Thor is fat

The god of thunder ends up playing fortnite and roasting children on voice chat

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I sneezed on the anti-vaxxer and gave him the flu.

Update: He died and know they are gonna sue.

Roses are red, violets don't dance

I'm having a stroke
call a anbulous... ambivalence... weewee wagon pls

Roses are red, so is wine

I'll be the 6 you'll be the 9

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I think I've identified why roses represent love

They’re thorny

Roses are red, silent as a mouse...

your door is unlocked, I’m inside of your house.

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