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Optometrists Jokes

How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One or two?

One....or two?

One?........or two?

Did you know optometrists don't have funerals?

They have *viewings.*
.

[I am *way* too proud and tickled for coming up with this one.]

Why do optometrists live so long?

Because they dilate.

I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist

She's a great lady, has a lot of my same interests, and is really a kind person. She's just really irritating in bed.

She's always saying, "So do like it better like this... or like this?"

A Polish man goes to the optometrists for an eye test.

The optometrist had his eye chart on the wall with several lines of scrambled letters of various type size. The optometrist points to a line of medium size letters and says,"Can you read this line?" The Polish man says, "Read it! Hell yeah, I know the guy!"

Did u know 70% of Chinese optometrists have cataracts

The other 30 drive Rincolns

Why don't optometrists do drugs?

They're always contact high.

It's half a year left before all the optometrists go out of business!

Because everyone will have 2020 vision!

So I heard there's a group of optometrists who founded a colony on an archipelago off the coast of Alaska, but the islands themselves are very weird to look at.

They're called the Optical Aleutians.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese guy walks into an optometrists office...

He gets examined and the doctor says, "you have a cataract."

The guy replies, "No I don't, I drive a Rincoln."

I went to the Optometrists to buy some glasses the other day, you'll never guess who I ran into...

Everyone.

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