What’s the difference between Christ and an oil painting?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

This joke nearly got me kicked out of the choir.

What do you call the worlds most famous oil painting?

The Gulf Of Mexico.

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will. When I took them to be valued I was told they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius

Sadly, they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

What is the difference between an oil painting and Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang an oil painting.

Jesus walks into a hotel with a hammer and some nails….

“ could you put me up for the night?” He asks the receptionist.

And if you thought that was bad….

What’s the difference between Jesus and an oil painting?

Only takes one nail to hang and oil painting….

What type of art is the favorite of the US Military?

Oil paintings

The subject of a painting

Outside the castle, in front of two deep, dangerous troughs of water filled with piranhas and barracudas, the royal coterie of lupine dog-men assembles on two long tables, facing the masses on the other side of the water. The wolf-king raises his glass and gives a piercing howl, to which the rest of...

A Student in Israel

David, an American student went to Israel for a semester to study abroad at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. As part of his program he was placed with a host family for housing. An elderly gentleman named Joshua Levin welcomed him into the large home with many rooms.

As Joshua gave a tour ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is cleaning out his deceased grandfather's attic...

He discovers an old oil painting and an old violin. He decides to take them to an antique dealer to have them evaluated.

The antique dealer studies them both carefully and says, "What you have here sir is a Stradivarius, and a Rembrandt. Unfortunately, Stradivarius wasn't a very good painte...

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