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I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.”

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?”

Me: “John”

Homeless man: “So Johnny, there is black rooster alright?

How many legs does that chicken have.”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right, n...

Did you hear about the street walker in Venice?

She drowned.

I heard you father was run over by a boat in Venice.

My gondolences.

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A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away

A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.” He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”

So she consented and they were married, and they went on honeymoon to avery n...

What’s the name of that song?

It goes like “Venice navy dad”

What's the difference between Venice and the Lost City of Atlantis?

I guess about two or three years.

My ex girlfriend left me to become a streetwalker in Venice

She drowned

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It is my sad duty to report the death of my granddad, who was run over by a boat whilst swimming in a canal in Venice...

Thank you to those of you who have already sent your gondolences...

I'm sorry to hear that your uncle was killed by a boat in Venice...

My gondolences.

[ True Story / Legend ] A group of guys walk by Arnold working out on Venice beach..

One of the guys says "Look at this guy, I would never want to be that big".

To which Arnold replys, "Goode because you neva vill", as he finishes a pump.

It makes sense that venice has been hit hard by the virus.

where else can you be guaranteed that they won't run out of face masks?

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My girlfriend told me that I got her pregnant on our trip to Venice, but I don't know if I believe her...

We only had canal sex.

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"Wow you went on a 2 week honeymoon trip to London, Paris and Venice, what all did you see ?"

Newly married bride : Ceiling fans

Edit : this joke is funnier in India as they have taboo on premarital sex

"Daddy, where did Bambi's mom go after she died?"

"Venice, son."

French, Italian and Russian are talking about what are the best things in the world

French: Walking in Paris with my Jacqueline, dinner at the restaurant, candles, cheese, white wine, after which we go to my place and gently make love until morning.

Italian: Strolling through Venice with my Francesca, dinner at the restaurat, candles, pasta, red wine, after which we go to my...

Just the water!

My friend was living in Venice, Italy. Neither-land Nor-way.

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1 dollar for dirty joke

I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?

Me: “asstasticbum”

Homeless man: “So asstasticbum, the...

Two blondes are having a conversation...

-Next month I’m going to Venice

-Venice? Haven’t you been there last year already?

-Yeah but the streets were flooded

A young man goes into the public swimming pool because he wants to swim the 100 meters.

At the edge of the pool are sitting three elderly ladies and watch him swimming the 100 meters in one and a half minutes.

As he climbs out of the pool, one of the three ladies says, "Not bad, but I'm 70 years old and can do it better!" "I do not think so, you have to prove that to me!" Says ...

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the newlyweds go to the hotel swimming pool...

The guy goes to the diving board and performs a 2 1/2 sommersaults with 2 twists backwards.

-"Whoa, that was impressive," says the wife when the man comes back.

-"I was a double medallist in London olympics, dear".

So the woman dives in and does 90 lenghts of the pool in 2 1/2 m...

A 90 year-old man marries a beautiful 25 year-old woman...

They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says "Honey, I'm tired after all this excitement. I'm going to go to bed. See you in the morning." She say ok, and off he goes to bed, whil...

A Russian submarine

A Russian submarine was sailing,and the captain felt a huge shake.Confused,he ran to Vladimir and asked him: "What was that,was it an earthquake or we hit something?",Vladimir said: "No Captain,Ivan's girlfriend ran with her lover to Venice", the captain even more confused says:Yeah,but what's the m...

Pope John XXIII is going to formally become a saint on Sunday (27 April 2014). Here is a sample of his humorous quips:

1. Visiting a hospital he asked a boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy said either a policeman or a pope. "I would go in for the police if I were you," the Holy Father said. "Anyone can become a pope, look at me!"

2. "It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think ab...

Drinking responsible.

Last night I went to a Holiday party. I had a few beers, followed by a few more beers, followed by a few shots of Southern Comfort. Then a few pinnacle upside down cake drinks, which led to vodka on the rocks! That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home. Sure enough,...

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