Near Miss Jokes - 8 Hilarious Near Miss Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand.

Well a pre-op Transsexual.

Depth perception jokes are always near misses.

It's like I never see the punchline until it is too late.

Christmas traditions

The week of Christmas is always a hectic one at the North Pole. This one from long ago was especially so.

The elves had learned a new word “Unionize” and kept making threats.

Blitzen was colicky, Dasher had the worst case of gas he’d experienced in years and Vixen was pregnant; again!<...

I was engaged before

It didn't work out so now i just refer to her as a near miss

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets rescued after spending his whole life on a desert island.

(this one is very long, be warned)

He was stranded on the island as a little boy, he knows how to speak but he knows nothing about the wonders of the modern world. Him and his family were thought to have perished in a freak yacht accident, nobody ever found the yacht. He somehow managed to su...

Did you hear about the guy who fell down the stairs at the airport?

Damn near missed the whole flight

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a chicken last night.

I had a number of near misses on the way there. Everyone kept driving straight at me.

I was driving down the highway after a long day's work.

Traffic was light, not much of a problem.
I was listening to the radio and thinking about my evening.
It's not that I was distracted, I just never expected it to happen
Sure enough, on the road was some leftover glass from an accident that morning.
And I drove right over it. ...

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