The 15+ Best Funk Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A groupie meets a band for the first time.

She is introduced to the singer and guitarist, then the bass player, who only has one arm. She asks how he plays with only one arm, and he says "watch!"

He proceeds to pull out his enormous erect penis and while he frets his bass he uses his dick to play the strings. He's thrusting and gyra...

I can work the lyrics of “Uptown Funk” into any conversation I have.

Don’t believe me? Just watch!

I asked my Apple Watch "what's the time?"

It said "an 80s funk band."

I swear if I hear Uptown Funk one more time...

I will smash my radio. Don't believe me? Just watch

They say you should sing Happy Birthday when cleaning your hands, but I find Uptown Funk to be much more effective

Don't believe me? Just wash

In my efforts to come up with a unique style of music, I tried to mesh together the elements of Jazz and Funk.

But it just sounded like junk.

I want the trumpets from “Uptown Funk” to play in the background wherever I go.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

Why don't north Koreans listen to funk?

Cos they've got no Seoul!

Thank you very much.

What makes Reddit Mods so funky?

"Funk not only moves, it can remove." - Sir Lollipop Man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist.

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist/composer was walking down Second Avenue in New York contemplating his sad life when he sees a sign in a restaurant window that says "Jazz pianist wanted, full time position." Elated at his good fortune he goes inside to apply for the job.

He meets the ma...

A young guy suffers from debilitating headaches (slightly long)

After going through many tests over several months the doctor says the only way to cure them is to cut off his balls. After another couple months the pain is so great the patient finally agrees to the operation. A week after the operation the patient is super depressed and asks the doctor what he c...

What do you call a mosh pit at a disco?

A Cluster Funk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats blue and fucks grannies?

Tobias Funke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wrote this one myself. (It's better then that redtile disfunction joke)

There was a guy named Shawn and he lived near a really little town in the western plains of Texas. This town was really just a dot along a highway and didn't get much traffic at all. There was one gas station, a diner, and a little dollar store with necessities and household items.

Shawn wor...

Jesus and Moses are hanging out by the Red Sea

(this takes place present day...). So Jesus asks moses, "hey Moses...you still got da funk?" Moses says "yeah buddy!", and walks out to the sea, holds up his staff, and majestically makes the Red Sea part in the middle.
He puts his staff down, walks back, and asks, "so how bout you JC? do you st...

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