What's a psychiatrist's favourite karaoke song?

All the Jung dudes.



(Happy Birthday Bowie!)

Karaoke night

A guy and his girlfriend walk into a bar on karaoke night. While his girlfriend is up by the stage going through song choices the bartender asks the guy, "Is she any good?" "I don't know. Whenever she starts to sing at home I always immediately go outside into the front yard," the guy replies. "That...

Did you hear about the Indian guy who loved karaoke?

Getupta Singh

A couple go to a bar during karaoke night...

and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.

"Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?" they...

What do you do when you come across your ex in a Karaoke bar?

The polite thing would be to offer them a towel!!

Which went up to sing karaoke, rock, paper, or scissors?

Rock. He was Boulder.

I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese banks

The recent tsunami in Japan has badly affected the banking sector.

Origami bank has folded.

Sumo bank has gone belly up.

Bonsai bank has cut back some of its branches.

Karaoke bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.

Analysts report that there is some...

I went to a Karaoke Bar that didn’t play any 70’s music yesterday.

At first I was afraid... I was petrified

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes into a bar

A guy goes into a bar, sits down and orders himself a drink. The guy notices a jar filled with hundreds with the words "The Ultimate Challenge" written on it. He asks the bartender what that's all about. The bartender replies that you put one hundred dollars in the play the challenge and whoever co...

Why are surgeons banned from karaoke bars?

Things tend to get messy on "Open Mic" night.

You know, after everyone realized that James Corden doesn’t drive the car in Carpool Karaoke...

...they should have just renamed the show to Car Pull Karaoke.

Where do karaoke machines come from?

Singapore

Did you hear about the time when a giant ape started a brawl over the use of a table tennis table in a karaoke bar?

King Kong, ping pong, sing song, ding dong.

I'm so good at karaoke.

I was blaring out my song the other night, and everyone left the pub to tell their friends about how good I was.

I've made a DataBase of some of the worst Carpool Karaoke songs ever.

It's called CarDB!

[OC] I was already on stage when I realized Take On Me was a bad karaoke song for me to sing...

It was a real Aha moment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They asked me to organise a karaoke night for the blind

One of the songs I included was 'I Can See For Miles' by The Who, but the participants weren't really feeling the lyrics.

Mainly because I forgot to get the braille version.

When I worked as a spy...

I was tasked with capturing someone overseas and bringing them back to MI5 for interrogation. On an overnight layover I took the captive to a local karaoke bar where they sang a surprisingly fantastic version of Bohemian Rhapsody. Honestly, it was an extraordinary rendition!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American Businessman's First Visit to Japan

A successful American businessman heads to Japan to meet with a big supplier. Naturally, the Japanese are going to set him up with a good time and loads of entertainment. The first night, they go to Karaoke and a gorgeous young Karaoke hostess is sent back to the man's hotel room to entertain him ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Solid Snake sing when he gets drunk and horny during 80’s Karaoke Night?

“...Cum on Mei Ling~”

A man with severe anxiety walks into a bar.

He doesn't know anyone, it's noisy, and everything is a blur. He goes straight to the bar and orders a tall glass of red ale, whatever they've got on tap, so the bartender complies.

He downs the entire drink in one go and looks around the bar at all the other patrons talking and mingling, sev...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My orgasms are like karaoke

They often involve drunken women and sound absolutely ridiculous

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend...

...just duet!

Why does the Philippines only have one Olympic gold medal in thier history so far?

Cause there is no Olympic competition for karaoke.

Boy sent a text to her girlfriend - Ready for tonight, Babe? You're going to use that mouth so hard.

Reply: I am Amy's father, and what is she going to do with her mouth?
Boy: Oh, she didn't tell you?
Father: What?
Boy: It's Karaoke night!

My whole life I've wanted to be a singer in the worst possible way

I just got booed off the stage at karaoke night so I think I've succeeded.

What do you call a pallbearer from Oklahoma?

A Karaoke

I was singing Barry White songs on the karaoke last night

And people in the crowd kept shouting

"You are soul! You are soul!"

I think they loved me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is this joke racist?

Dear redditors of reddit,
could you let me know in the comments if the following joke is racist/culturally insensitive?
It seems to be quite old and I like it, just would be grateful for your opinion, thanks.

According to recent reports the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of impr...

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman travels to Japan...[nsfw]

the American businessman arrives a day early for his meeting with his Japanese business colleague and being quite the tourist he decides to hit the the town. He goes to a couple of sushi bars and loosens up a bit, he meets an attractive women at one of the karaoke bars and after quite a while of tr...

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