UPJOKE
nightclubkaraoke boxsingersongmusicsingingsingpopular musicdivasingalongroulettetechnomicrophonemusicallip synching

I'm so good at karaoke.

I was blaring out my song the other night, and everyone left the pub to tell their friends about how good I was.

Where do karaoke machines come from?

Singapore

My partner refuses to go to Karaoke with me.

Guess I have to duet alone.

Did you hear about the Indian guy who loved karaoke?

Getupta Singh

Which went up to sing karaoke, rock, paper, or scissors?

Rock. He was Boulder.

Karaoke night

A guy and his girlfriend walk into a bar on karaoke night. While his girlfriend is up by the stage going through song choices the bartender asks the guy, "Is she any good?" "I don't know. Whenever she starts to sing at home I always immediately go outside into the front yard," the guy replies. "That...

A couple go to a bar during karaoke night...

and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.

"Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?" they...

i was kicked out of the karaoke bar after trying to sing 'danger zone' 4 times.

They said it was too many Loggins attempts.

Karaoke night at the bar...

... they have a pianist who’s trying his best to play along with the singers and doing a fairly good job.

It goes along merry as a funeral bell till a particularly plastered and tone deaf guy takes the mic. The pianist bravely attempts to keep up, but has to give up. The drunk starts yelling ...

What do you do when you come across your ex in a Karaoke bar?

The polite thing would be to offer them a towel!!

I went to a karaoke party and my friend handed me the microphone.

I politely declined, walked up on the stage, and stood there letting the music play. When the song had finished my friend asked me why I didn't sing. I gave him a confused look and said that was my favorite solo.

It's so low you can't hear it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American Businessman's First Visit to Japan

A successful American businessman heads to Japan to meet with a big supplier. Naturally, the Japanese are going to set him up with a good time and loads of entertainment. The first night, they go to Karaoke and a gorgeous young Karaoke hostess is sent back to the man's hotel room to entertain him ...

I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…

Why are surgeons banned from karaoke bars?

Things tend to get messy on "Open Mic" night.

I went to a karaoke bar . .

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrified.

The karaoke party was the bomb

Sam sung

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They asked me to organise a karaoke night for the blind

One of the songs I included was 'I Can See For Miles' by The Who, but the participants weren't really feeling the lyrics.

Mainly because I forgot to get the braille version.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend...

...just duet!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes into a bar

A guy goes into a bar, sits down and orders himself a drink. The guy notices a jar filled with hundreds with the words "The Ultimate Challenge" written on it. He asks the bartender what that's all about. The bartender replies that you put one hundred dollars in the play the challenge and whoever co...

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

My whole life I've wanted to be a singer in the worst possible way

I just got booed off the stage at karaoke night so I think I've succeeded.

You know, after everyone realized that James Corden doesn’t drive the car in Carpool Karaoke...

...they should have just renamed the show to Car Pull Karaoke.

Why does the Philippines only have one Olympic gold medal in thier history so far?

Cause there is no Olympic competition for karaoke.

Boy sent a text to her girlfriend - Ready for tonight, Babe? You're going to use that mouth so hard.

Reply: I am Amy's father, and what is she going to do with her mouth?
Boy: Oh, she didn't tell you?
Father: What?
Boy: It's Karaoke night!

What do you call a pallbearer from Oklahoma?

A Karaoke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Solid Snake sing when he gets drunk and horny during 80’s Karaoke Night?

“...Cum on Mei Ling~”

[OC] I was already on stage when I realized Take On Me was a bad karaoke song for me to sing...

It was a real Aha moment.

When I worked as a spy...

I was tasked with capturing someone overseas and bringing them back to MI5 for interrogation. On an overnight layover I took the captive to a local karaoke bar where they sang a surprisingly fantastic version of Bohemian Rhapsody. Honestly, it was an extraordinary rendition!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is this joke racist?

Dear redditors of reddit,
could you let me know in the comments if the following joke is racist/culturally insensitive?
It seems to be quite old and I like it, just would be grateful for your opinion, thanks.

According to recent reports the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of impr...

I've made a DataBase of some of the worst Carpool Karaoke songs ever.

It's called CarDB!

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman travels to Japan...[nsfw]

the American businessman arrives a day early for his meeting with his Japanese business colleague and being quite the tourist he decides to hit the the town. He goes to a couple of sushi bars and loosens up a bit, he meets an attractive women at one of the karaoke bars and after quite a while of tr...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.