Sheet Music Jokes

Clerk: "Sir, are you plagiarising that music?"
Man: "No, I'm just taking some notes"

Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.

It's that a long rest just can't be beat

The knocking gets faster as it goes on.



You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?

Pay him for the pizza!



Two drummers walk past a bar...



How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put ... read more

You've got no chants

The party features a full big band performance and an open bar. In order to fight the extreme heat, the party is littered with large fans running full blast, inadvertantly causing the musicians to tie the sheet music down to their music stands to prevent them from blowing away. Meanwhile, the bass s... read more

The bass singer accidentally got the soprano's sheet music before a concert. Boy, was he in treble!

A student has a music major final due, he must compose a symphony.

Out of time, he decides to go to the library to find sheet music and simply write it backwards and submit it as his own. He looks through the stacks and finds one from his very professor when he was a student. He copies it do... read more

I mean, Ray Charles couldn't read sheet music to save his life.

carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.

The conductor asks him “Will you need any sheet music?”

The man replies, “Nah, I’ll play it by ear.”

Everyone thought he had some sheet music

To help keep her mind away from the pain and maintain her breathing, she begins counting her sheet music out loud. Her contractions gradually get stronger, when she calls out, “Oh god! The triplets are coming!”

“One and a two and a three and a!”

I would keep both my sheet music, as well as theirs, so I knew when to duck.

It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.

My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.

Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"


Looking a lit... read more

One girl is being extremely difficult and cannot play the flute to save her life. Finally he walks over to her and hits her in the head with her flute, killing her. She dies instantly and he is sentenced to death by electrocution. The warden asks what he would like his last meal to be. Joe says "I'd... read more

Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.

Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.

What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?... read more