A man goes to a music store and starts copying down some sheet music
Clerk: "Sir, are you plagiarising that music?" Man: "No, I'm just taking some notes"
My music teacher taught me how to steal sheet music...
He told me to take notes.
What did the abbot say when a monk showed up for an audition with no sheet music?
You've got no chants
If there's one thing I've learned from sheet music over the years
It's that a long rest just can't be beat
How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?
Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
A middle school band director named Joe is having trouble instructing his students to play their instruments.
One girl is being extremely difficult and cannot play the flute to save her life. Finally he walks over to her and hits her in the head with her flute, killing her. She dies instantly and he is sentenced to death by electrocution. The warden asks what he would like his last meal to be. Joe says "I'd...
There was this wonderful singer in my choir class once. She couldn't read any of the music, but then again, tons of famous singers didn't read music.
I mean, Ray Charles couldn't read sheet music to save his life.
A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal...
carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
The conductor asks him “Will you need any sheet music?”
The man replies, “Nah, I’ll play it by ear.”
A musician goes into labor
To help keep her mind away from the pain and maintain her breathing, she begins counting her sheet music out loud. Her contractions gradually get stronger, when she calls out, “Oh god! The triplets are coming!”
“One and a two and a three and a!”
Why did everyone hate the classical composer’s music
Everyone thought he had some sheet music
The Music Major
A student has a music major final due, he must compose a symphony.
Out of time, he decides to go to the library to find sheet music and simply write it backwards and submit it as his own. He looks through the stacks and finds one from his very professor when he was a student. He copies it do...
Some musician related jokes
Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.
Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.
What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?...
A concert pianist makes mistakes during a performance
Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"
Looking a lit...
I used to sit in front of the trombones in band
I would keep both my sheet music, as well as theirs, so I knew when to duck.
My friend made a flute out of a carrot...
It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.
I'm a band geek and love terrible band jokes. Here are some of my favorites!
How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.
What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a half empty bar and says to the bartender “If I show you something amazing will you give me a free drink?”
“You know bud,” the world-weary bartender says, “I’ve been in this business for a long, long time and it will take something pretty freaking special to impress me but ...