What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke when Luke’s marriage was falling apart?

“Use divorce, Luke”

So if “Ani” is short for Anakin, and “Ben” is short for Obi-Wan... and “Fives” is short for CT-27-5555... and “Artoo” is short for R2D2... and “Chewie” is short for Chewbacca... What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper

What did Luke say to Han and Leia when they split up?

May divorce be with you.

What did the lunch lady say to Luke Skywalker?

*"Use the forks, Luke."*

Yoda asks Luke “why is 5 afraid of 7?”

Because 6, 7, 8.

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan are out at a Chinese restaurant and Luke is really battling trying to use the chopsticks to feed his face. After a while Obi Wan turns to him and says

"use the forks luke"

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there's a long break in the ledge they can't cross.

"Something for this, I have." Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda's hovel, t...

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Cinderella wanted to go to a ball one night

But her stepmother said she could not go. Devastated, Cinderella ran up to her room, sat on her bed, and started sobbing.

Not soon later, a fairy godmother came into her room via window. "Would you still luke to go to the ball?" The fairy godmother asked. "Yes!" Cinderella exclaimed. "Ok," t...

Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**

When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was going to get him for Father’s Day?

He sensed his presents

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

They say if you play the new Luke Bryan song backwards, you will hear a Satanic message. But that's not the worst part

...if you play it forwards, you'll hear the new Luke Bryan song.

A priest is giving a young nun a lift home one day.

As he's shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun's knee. The nun looks up at the priest and says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10." The priest withdraws his hand embarrassed. Next time they stop at light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh, again the nun says, "Remember Luke 14:10, ...

What flower did Luke have at his wedding?

Dandelorians.

What did Obi-wan say to Luke when he saw him struggling with the chopsticks?

Use the fork, Luke.

My son Luke loves the fact he's named after a Star Wars character

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much

Why was Luke under the Christmas tree?

He wanted to feel Obi Wan's presents.

Darth Vader always knew what Luke and Leia got him for Christmas, stating:

“I’ve felt your presents”

Before Luke Skywalker died, he saw his mother and father before him...

His mom asked why he had blonde hair when he was young, as neither she nor anikin had it.

Luke fell silent, but before he could answer, his father answered " he was going through a rebel phase, dear"

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

What did Vader's dog say to Luke's dog

Join the bark side

For my cake day this year I want to share the love I have of Star Wars and dad jokes so here is one of my favorites: Where did Luke get this cybernetic hand from?

The second hand store.

What do you get when you cross Harry Potter with Luke Skywalker?

Scar Wars.

My pastor asked me to name the four Gospels, but I could only remember Matthew, Luke, and John.

I missed the Mark.

A monastery had a rule: No talking whatsoever.

Once a year, there was an exception to the rule. One monk would get chosen to get up and speak.

The first year, Brother Matthew stood up. Naturally, the hall was silent. He stared at his audience for a minute. Then he spoke. "Hot this year, wasn't it?"

With that, he concluded his speec...

Where did Luke Skywalker go shopping between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi?

Second Hand Store

Why were luke and leia Jedi’s?

Because they were children of di vorce

Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

Luke:”Yoda, are we heading the right direction?”

Yoda:”Off course, we are.”

Who is Luke?

And why is he warming my water?

Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Luke-Warm

What did Han tell Luke about his father?

Luke, I’m not your father, but your sister calls me daddy.

Cheating at poker

A group of businessmen sat down for a game of poker after work. There was quite a lot of money involved, so everyone was a bit on edge. As the cards were dealt, everyone was looking thoroughly at each other. One of the businessmen called the hand and put his cards on the table. The dealer of the gro...

What’s Luke Skywalker’s favorite car brand ?

It’s ToYoda.

Why did Luke circumcise his kids?

Because they were his force kin.

How did Luke Skywalker get around the forest moon of Endor?

Ewoked.

What’s Luke Skywalkers favorite type of retirement account?

A Hoth IRA

A priest and a nun are driving to a monastery

A priest and a nun are driving in a car towards a monastery, priest behind the wheel.

Approaching the red light, priest places gently his hand on the nuns knee to which the nun looks at him and says, “Father, remember Luke 14:10”. Priest apologies, removes his hand and keeps on driving.
...

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are engaged in a lightsaber duel, when Vader whispers....

"Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas"

Luke ignored him and continued to to fight.

But he whispers again "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas"

Luke stops fighting and says "Ok, what are you going on about?"

"I have felt your presence"

In the new Star Wars movie Ray should have gotten undressed in front of Luke

Then it would have been a real rise of skywalker

What did Darth Vader say when he sensed Luke for the first time?

"I have a dad feeling about this."

How Does Leah Like Her Bathwater?

Luke-warm

My 9yo came up with this, don't ban me please lol

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah. Suddenly, part of the ledge in front of them falls off. "Oh no, what do we do, master?" asked Luke. "Worry not" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out a giant 6-foot fork, lays it across the gap in the ledge, and they use it as a bridge.

Soon enough, they come to ...

I like to tease my friend Luke

One time I gave him 2 forks when he asked for a spoon to have his cereal with. He said "Can I have a spoon?" I said "Luke, use the forks".

Why was Luke skywalker late to work?

He had to take an R2Detour.

Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks...

Luke: are we on track?

Yoda: off course, we are.

C3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are taken prisoner on an alien planet

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an...

A man was really struggling so he decides to open a Bible to random page and drop his finger on a verse and do whatever it says.

The verse his finger landed on was Matthew 27:5 “than Judas hanged himself”

The man thought “that’s not right, let me try again” and does the same thing, this time landing on Luke 10:37 “Jesus told him ‘go and do likewise’”

Again the man thought it wasn’t right and so he did it one l...

What is Luke Skywalker's favorite candy?

Blue milk duds.

What do you call Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the rest of The Rebellion at the beginning of a rugby match?

Rebel Scrum

Why didn't Luke Skywalker's marriages ever last?

He wanted to follow Obi-Wan's advice: "Use divorce, Luke"

One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant.

Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.

Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"

What did Darth Vader say when he saw his old droid choosing Luke over him?

"E tu, D2?"

Luke Skywalker and Yoda are hopelessly lost on their journey...

Luke: Yoda, we've been walking for hours! Are you sure that we're going the right way?

Yoda: For the tenth time, told you, I have! Off course, we are!

Luke wanted to find love

But he looked in Alderaan places.

What do you call Luke Skywalker's futuristic frying pan?

An e-wok

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are engaged in a light saber battle...

...when suddenly Darth grabs Luke by the tunic and pulls him close. "Luke, I know what you are getting for Christmas", he says to the young Jedi.

"How? How could you possibly know what I am getting for Christmas?" Luke says skeptically.

Vader replies: "Because, I felt your presents."

How did Luke make it across Endor after he crashed his speeder bike?

Ewoked.

What dressing does Luke Skywalker put on a porg before eating it?

Skywalker Ranch

Why did Luke Skywalker never marry?

Because he was busy riding Solo

"Update the force, Luke"

Adobe Wan Kenobi

What is the average internal body temperature of a Tauntaun

Luke Warm

I guess you could say Luke Skywalker single-handedly defeated the empire.

I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny.

How does Luke Skywalker clean his pool ? [OC]

With midichlorian

An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker’s last pastry.

Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, “Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!”

"Remember, Luke, a Jedi always has doubts about something. Only a Sith can be 100% sure about everything."

"Dad, are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

Luke Skywalker went to the Jedi temple

Obi-Wan Kenobi's force ghost materialized and noticed that Master Luke seemed perturbed, and so asked him what the matter was.

Luke replied "Ben, my life outside the Jedi Order is in shambles. It's mainly my marriage. It started off great, but something's changed in recent times. Drastical...

What did Darth Vader tell Luke?

Luke, I am your [Unlock Content for 20000 Credits].

So Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are locked in their final showdown...

...light sabers are flashing, the balance is delicate, but suddenly Luke knocks Darth's weapon away. As it's skidding out of reach, Luke moves in for the final blow. Quickly, Darth holds up a hand and says "Luke, wait! I need to tell you something". Luke, sensing a trap, asks why he should do such a...

Got locked out of my house on Hoth and had to sleep with my Tauntaun...

...was actually pretty comfy, my only complaint was that he was luke-warm.

What does Anakin do when Luke doesn't eat his vegetables?

He force-feeds him

After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister...

He became best friends with hand solo.

Luke Skywalker goes to eat at an Italian restaurant, finishes dinner then orders desert.

Only one canoli.

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What's the difference between Luke Skywalker and a black man?

Luke Skywalker eventually finds out who his father is.

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Luke cage

In marvels luke cage everyone thinks that luke has super powers because he's bullet proof.

But bullet proof black people isn't a super power it's straight up evolution.

Luke chided Han for blaming Chewbacca when everyone got caught in the tree net on the forest moon of Endor.

But let's be honest: it *was* a Wookie mistake.

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant.

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.”

Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs...

He used excessive force

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