I caught my 13 year old jacking off to the new testament.

We had a "come to Jesus" talk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't Jews believe in the New Testament?

Because they won't buy a book unless it's 50% off.

A crying jewish man goes to the synagogue

He stumbles to the floor and just lies there, sobbing and crying.

Suddenly he hears a voice from above: "What's wrong my child?".

"Oh", cries the man, "it is horrible. My son got baptized."

"Happened to me too", says the voice. "In the end I had to write a New Testament".
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Religion is like a movie

The Torah is the first one, the New Testament is the sequel. The Qur'an is a reboot of the second - there's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore.

* Jews like the first movie, but ignore the sequels.
* Christians like the first two, but the third doesn't count.
* Muslims...

The ultimate gift

Three sons left home and everyone went their own way ...

When they returned home together, they boasted about the gifts they gave to their aging mother.

The first said: "I built a big luxury house for my mother."
The second said: "I sent my mom the latest Mercedes with the driver."<...

After 62 years of being devoted to Judaism, Abraham converts to Christianity

Distraught over this unexpected development, his life-long friend Moshe sends him a message.

Moshe: "Abraham, you schmuck! How could you abandon your faith?"

Abraham: "New Testament, who dis?"

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning....

The wife claims, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No, ...

Who says sequels don't work?

Look at the fanbase of the New Testament!

My Sunday School teacher is so old...

.. when the New Testament came out she said "I don't care for the new curriculum."

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