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Lowering Jokes

Funny how things are still tagged NSFW

As if any of us still have jobs

Update: stop bragging about being employed, it's lowering morale /s

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,

why isn't anything in the store free yet?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter,...

What did the captain of the Titanic say to the guy lowering a half empty lifeboat?

Too soon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Do you want to see a nice clock?" I said, lowering my trousers, "That's not a clock!" She exclaimed when she saw my dick...

It will be when you put two hands and a face on it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old Russian joke: One day the bear escaped from the zoo

One day the bear escaped from the zoo and climbed a tree in a residential area. Same day lonely old lady came out in the morning for milk, saw the bear and called the zoo. Half an hour later a rusty old van drove to her house. Hefty bearded man with a shotgun got out of the van followed by little wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The latest scientific study on polar bears was just published

The study noted that loss of habitat in the north pole has caused some bears to migrate to the south pole, and also a severe increase in the number of manic/depressive symptoms in the bears studied. Due to lowering numbers, many bears were expressing sexual behaviors towards other bears of both sex...

Got home today from work to find all my kids have been on eBay all day..

If they are still there tomorrow, I'm lowering the starting price...

The only time my girl friend will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER"...

...is when they are lowering my casket into the ground!

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