A Sergeant this morning told me "if I turn down the shot I'll get kicked out of the Army."

Me: yeah, but If you get the shot you'll be stuck in the Army...

Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers?

The celery was unacceptable!

Why did Rita turn down a guy who asked her out?

He said "Will you go out with me........ **Señorita**?"

Why did Dracula turn down the part of the Magic Mirror?

He just couldn't see himself in it.

Why did the invisible man turn down his job?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

How does electrician turn down services

He refuses it.

What do you get when you turn down a cheap shot of whiskey from Conor McGregor?

A cheap shot anyway

Why did Mary turn down more gifts from the three wise men, after the first three?

Because it was myrrh, then enough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the caterer turn down the prostitute?

He didn't like the spread

Kevin spacey got turn down to play Santa.

Apparently they didn’t trust him with the naughty list.

Why did the teddy bear turn down a slice of cake

Because it was stuffed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've recently found this incredibly difficult mobile game, that involves matching things. I wish I could turn down the difficulty setting.

Whatever this "Tinder" thing is, it's kicking my ass.

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh?

How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For Sale. 42 inch TV. Volume button doesn't work $20.

A deal you can't turn down

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two economists are walking in the woods...

Two economists are walking in the woods when they encounter a rotting deer carcass.


One economist turns to the other and says, "I bet you $4000 you won't sniff that carcass."

The other economist isn't going to turn down $4000 so he leans over and sniffs it. Then he turns to the fi...

What’s the difference between Nicholas Cage and someone who can’t eat wheat?

Nicholas Cage would never turn down a roll

I'm selling a TV for $1, but it's broken and it's stuck on the highest volume

It's something you can't turn down.

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