UPJOKE
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Why did Dracula turn down the job at the mirror factory?

He just couldn't see himself doing the job

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

A Sergeant this morning told me "if I turn down the shot I'll get kicked out of the Army."

Me: yeah, but If you get the shot you'll be stuck in the Army...

Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers?

The celery was unacceptable!

Why did Rita turn down a guy who asked her out?

He said "Will you go out with me........ **Señorita**?"

How does electrician turn down services

He refuses it.

What do you get when you turn down a cheap shot of whiskey from Conor McGregor?

A cheap shot anyway

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the caterer turn down the prostitute?

He didn't like the spread

Kevin spacey got turn down to play Santa.

Apparently they didn’t trust him with the naughty list.

Why did the teddy bear turn down a slice of cake

Because it was stuffed

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've recently found this incredibly difficult mobile game, that involves matching things. I wish I could turn down the difficulty setting.

Whatever this "Tinder" thing is, it's kicking my ass.

How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She is absolutely thrilled at the speed.

Never a man to turn down a good opportunity, the young man asks “If I go 120 mph, will you take off your clothes?”

“Sure!” says his adventurous girlfriend. So off they go.

As he gets up to 120 mph, she starts peeling off her clothes. Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I Am The Viper! (Long)

A young man inherited a stately manor from his uncle after his untimely passing. The man's uncle was in reasonably good health, but was found dead in his library. His body bore signs of poisoning, but there was no one else with him the night of his death and no poison was found in his system or on t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For Sale. 42 inch TV. Volume button doesn't work $20.

A deal you can't turn down

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two economists are walking in the woods...

Two economists are walking in the woods when they encounter a rotting deer carcass.


One economist turns to the other and says, "I bet you $4000 you won't sniff that carcass."

The other economist isn't going to turn down $4000 so he leans over and sniffs it. Then he turns to the fi...

I'm selling a TV for $1, but it's broken and it's stuck on the highest volume

It's something you can't turn down.

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