How does Dumbledore get down a hill?

Running....

J.K. Rolling

How does the author of Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking.

JK. Rolling

The Secret Sevice is not allowed to tell the president to “get down”

If there is a crisis they have to say “Donald, Duck!”

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don’t. You get it from a goose.

How does an elephant get down from a tree?

It sits on a leaf and waits until autumn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cousin Jack was horse riding yesterday, and he wanted a break. But he couldn’t get down until the horse was satisfied

So I had to help my cousin Jack off his horse

Whenever I get down or feel overwhelmed, I think back to my great uncle's final words to me from his deathbed, "be positive!"

That being said, I would have preferred he just answered the question I asked him about his blood type so we could have saved him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear climbs up a tree in a man's backyard and won't get down so he calls animal control...

An animal control van pulls up and a man steps out with a pitbull by his side. He comes up to the owner, hands him a semi-automatic rifle and says: "Here is the plan, I climb up the tree and start shaking it, when the bear falls out, my pitbull Fluffy here will bite him by the balls and drag him bac...

What kind of lights did the Incas use to get down from Machu Picchu at night?

Incandescent.

How did the geologist get down the mountain?

'e rode

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend of mine is dating a Chinese girl and they get down to sexy times...

He says “How about a 69?”

She looks bewildered and asks “ You want a beef with broccoli now?”

I couldn’t figure out why the season of The Apprentice I was watching was going on for so long. Each week someone gets fired, but we never seem to get down to the final winner!

Then I realized, I was just watching the news.

Why do black guys do poorly in the army? Because when the commander yelled "GET DOWN!"

they all jumped up and started dancing.

(I struggled before posting this joke, even though I'm black and this was one of my dad's favorite jokes, because it's so easy to be called racist. I do believe there's a line, a mean-spirited tone or a constant targeting that's rightly called racist, ...

I’m a roofer and earlier today my coworker asked me how I’m gonna get down from the roof of the house. I said I could jump or I could climb down.

I chose the latter

My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too."

"Unless you're on a see-saw with them," I added.

A man had a goose on top of a building. What's the easiest way for him to get down?

Pluck it off the goose.

I've decided I'll never get down to my original weight

I'm okay with that. After all, 6lbs, 3oz, is just not realistic.

How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't - you get down off a duck.

*(This joke can also serve as a test of English fluency. You're welcome.)*

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The animals hear that the world is going to end

So, the Lion, as their king, calls an official meeting of all animals.

“We have only 10 days until everything as we know it is destroyed. Nothing matters anymore. Let’s just all have sex with each other and go out with a bang.”

The antelope flicks and ear to ask a question: “What about...

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An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day.

"I got you a job. It's a one-liner."

"That's okay!" replies the actor, "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"

"Hark, I hear the cannons roar," says the agent.

"I love it!" says the actor. "When's the audition?"

"Wednesday," says the agent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the time of the Ottoman Empire, there was a wedding.

Back then, weddings were pretty big, and also long. People used to travel tens or hundreds of kilometers to attend at a wedding. For that reason, they would stay for a few days as guests. They would normally sleep in really big rooms, on the floor, and women and men would normally be separated... ...

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