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Loans Jokes

Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between my wife and my student loans?

My student loans fuck me with interest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having student loans is like being in a shitty marriage.

They fuck you once a month for 25 years,

they make you feel guilty about every dollar you spend,

and you spend an unhealthy amount of time wondering if you could fake your death to get out of the whole arrangement.

Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called "Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay....

Luckily I'm a statistician.

Why did my cat get screwed on his student loans?

He forgot to read the second claws

The Department is Education is canceling $150 million in student loans.

Those are a lucky 4 people.

Sub-Zero paid off his student loans...

Frugality...

A Lawyer Walked Into a Bank to Get a Loan...

...and a bank employee assisted him with the requirements. The employee asked, "How much are you going to borrow, sir?"

"Five thousand dollars," the lawyer said.

"And when do you intend to pay it?" the bank employee asked.

"In 30 days."

"Okay, sir, we have a standard 18% ...

Shout out to my student loans

for being the only one from college keeping in touch

After years of hard work after college, I finally paid back my student loans.

I wish I can post this in a different sub.

Why is the SBA so slow at processing EIDL loans?

You try working in the dark and see how much you get accomplished.

A horse walks into a bar.

"Why the long face?" the bartender asks...


"Haha," the horse replies, sarcastically, "Haven't heard that one before."


"Just got the news," the horse continues, "I've been accepted into college."


Bartender says, "That's great news! You should be celebrating."
<...

So I saw an ad near a bank for interest-free loans

I went inside to ask for one but no one gave a f\*\*\*

I thought my student loans were great when I got then.

Now they're outstanding!

A frog walks into a bank.

The frog hops up on the counter of the nearest available teller and says "I want a loan."

Confused, the teller asks for the frog's name.

"My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Rolling Stone's legend Mick Jagger, and I want a loan" he says. "And what is **YOUR** name?"

"My name is Pat...

Elon Musk takes out a loan

The year is 2020.


Elon musk walks into a bank in London and asks for the loan officer. He says says he is going to space on a business trip for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The loans officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so Elon Musk ...

What do you call a starship that works multiple jobs and can't pay of it's student loans?

The Millennial Falcon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog wants to get a loan

A frog goes into a bank and speaks to the teller about getting a loan. The teller, Mrs. Whack, brings him over to a desk where they can discuss.

"So, what will this loan be for?"

"It's to buy my father a new stereo. He's super into rock & roll."

"Not to be intrusive, but you...

I got my student loans down from 100k to 50k overnight with this super easy life hack.

Divorce

A very wealthy man goes in a New Your bank and loans $10, leaving his Rolls Royce for collateral.

He then goes on a trip overseas, and returns a month later. He immediately goes to the bank, pays the $10 plus 5 cents interest, and turns to leave.

The president of the bank can't contain himself, and rushes up to the man to ask "Why did you borrow $10 when you're so rich? And why leave a ...

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