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Debts Jokes

Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay....

Luckily I'm a statistician.

People say I'm just an old drunk who can't stand up straight, let alone pay my debts.

But, joke is on them! My bank just notified me that I have "Outstanding Balance".

I have the best debts in the world!

Every single one of them is Outstanding!

Music history nerds- What do Wagner’s musical works and his debts have in common?

They both never resolve.




Yes I know this is bad but we’re studying Wagner and the class/professor appreciated it. Carry on with your day.

You don't need to worry about your debts or funds for the next 15 years when you rob a bank.

Either way the robbery goes out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mary comes home to tell her father she is a prostitute

A staunch catholic - he is outraged.

Father: "How can you do this to your mother and I! After how we raised you, took you to chapel and taught you to live by the ways of the Lord! What in heavens name will the rest of the family think of you? Think of us!?

No, I won't have it, you'l...

A man walks into a bank, because his credit score is mysteriously low.

He doesn't understand this. He knew that he had paid all his debts, repaid all his loans, the whole shebang.

He enters the bank and walks up to the bank teller.

"Hi," he says. "I've noticed that my credit score seems a little low. Could you please check why?"

"Alright," says ...

One my Russian wife told me

Doesn't translate perfectly but still pretty funny.

Kid: Dad what would you do if you won a million dollars in the lottery?

Dad: Pay off debts.

Kid: What about the rest?

Dad: They can wait.

Why could Donald Trump never be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.

Which Game of Thrones house does House Trump most resemble?

Definitely not House Lannister, because they always pay their debts.

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