Alpaca Jokes - 29 Hilarious Alpaca Jokes

What do Tibetans use to move their alpacas around?

Dolly Llamas

Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues, the disease wipes out 99% of humanity and desperate survivors are forced to live in...

...a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

What did the male alpaca say to the female alpaca?

Como te llama

The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas.

The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.

What do you call a toy alpaca that has obtained enlightenment?

The Dolly Llama

I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm,

next time Alpaca lunch.

a meteor strikes the earth killing everything and the only surviving life form is a hungry alpaca.

ALPACALIPS

If you get kissed by an alpaca it's not the end of the world.

It's the alpaca-lips.

Four college friends, teammates on the school's Rowing team, take a trip to Patagonia on Spring Break and get lost for a couple weeks.

Having brought food enough for only five days, they were soon forced to butcher and eat their alpaca, who they'd used to carry some of their gear.

That gave them enough food for a while, but even that eventually wore thin, until they were down to just the pack-animal's tongue, lips, and face...

What did the stoned alpaca say to the other stoned alpaca?

Alpaca 'nother bong

I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca...

Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to "be ready for the alpaca lips"

What did the alpacas go as for their group costume?

The zombie alpacalypse

What do you call a stampeding herd of Llama?

THE ALPACALYPSE

What did the male alpaca say when he was kicked out of the house for cheating on his wife?

Alpaca bag.

How do camels learn to mate ?

They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Alpaca

Alpaca who?

We’re going on holiday and alpaca up.

What did the mama Llama say to the baby llama as they prepared for a picnic?

Alpaca lunch

A zookeeper called a coworker at home and said they were out of camel food.

The zookeeer at home said, “alpaca lunch”.

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

A llama walks into her house to see her husband in bed with another llama

After a moment of intense silence, the husband gets up and says, "alpaca my bags."

Whoops, almost forgot to bring my llamas

Alpaca pair

I heard llamas are going to bring about the end of the world.

It's going to be Alpaca-lyptic.

Another one!

Two llamas were preparing to go on a trip, one asked "Did you pack Sunscreen yet?" the other responded with "No, but Alpaca few."

Wanna get high in the Andes?

Alpaca bowl

South American dad joke.

Son: "I'm going to take the herd of llamas up to the pasture in the mountains."

Mom: "Thats a really far walk, you're gonna get hungry."

Dad: "Dont worry, alpaca lunch for him."

No one is afraid of llama kisses

So why is everyone so worried about the alpaca lips?

What did the farmer say when he was invited on a short-notice trip?

Alpaca bag

A llama went on a trip

But he wanted to bring his brother Carl

Carl was excited and said, "Don't worry about food; alpaca lunch"

I got spit on by a farm animal and thought it was the end of the world.

It was just the alpaca lips.

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