Picture This: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live in and around the mouths of Alpacas.

Global Chaos Ensues.

The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca-lip-tick wasteland.

Stolen from r/dadjokes from u/habsfan1112

What do Tibetans use to move their alpacas around?

Dolly Llamas

South American dad joke.

Son: "I'm going to take the herd of llamas up to the pasture in the mountains."

Mom: "Thats a really far walk, you're gonna get hungry."

Dad: "Dont worry, alpaca lunch for him."

I heard llamas are going to bring about the end of the world.

It's going to be Alpaca-lyptic.

a meteor strikes the earth killing everything and the only surviving life form is a hungry alpaca.

ALPACALIPS

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Alpaca

Alpaca who?

We’re going on holiday and alpaca up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alpaca and a llama walks into a bat...

And they both get bludgeoned to death. Thank you autocorrect for fucking up my joke.

I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm,

next time Alpaca lunch.

A llama went on a trip

But he wanted to bring his brother Carl

Carl was excited and said, "Don't worry about food; alpaca lunch"

If you get kissed by an alpaca it's not the end of the world.

It's the alpaca-lips.

What did the male alpaca say when he was kicked out of the house for cheating on his wife?

Alpaca bag.

I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca...

Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to "be ready for the alpaca lips"

Who looks like a alpaca and drops sick albums in 2017

...Kendrick Llama

What did the alpacas go as for their group costume?

The zombie alpacalypse

What did the farmer say when he was invited on a short-notice trip?

Alpaca bag

What did the camelid say when I said we were going on vacation?

Alpaca my suitcase

What did the stoned alpaca say to the other stoned alpaca?

Alpaca 'nother bong

What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom?

One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

No one is afraid of llama kisses

So why is everyone so worried about the alpaca lips?

A llama walks into her house to see her husband in bed with another llama

After a moment of intense silence, the husband gets up and says, "alpaca my bags."

Wanna get high in the Andes?

Alpaca bowl

What did the Llama say to his wife when she asked for a divorce?

Fine, guess Alpaca my things.

It’s funny because he was married to an Alpaca.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

What do you call a stampeding herd of Llama?

THE ALPACALYPSE

I tried eating a whole llama once.

I couldn't finish it, so I figured "Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."

I got spit on by a farm animal and thought it was the end of the world.

It was just the alpaca lips.

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