I have finally completed my PhD in Literary Criticism...

And I beg you not to speak of the irony.

I’m pretty indifferent about most literary devices...

...but I avoid similes like the plague.

What happens when you cross alcoholism and books of literary merit?

Tequila Mockingbird

A small town is constantly suffering catastrophic flooding when the nearby river crests...

The mayor puts out a solicitation for someone to offer a solution to this problem. Three men respond: a civil engineer, a chemist and a literary critic. They arrive to the town, and the civil engineer and the chemist go to the city hall to present their approaches, but the critic checks into a nearb...

Kim Jong Un was given an international literary award a couple days ago...

... but nobody should be surprised; he is the Supreme Reader.

What would a literary person call a bot-test in a wheat field?

Captcha in the Rye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Longish literary-ish joke translated from Russian

Russia in the 1930s. Winter. Poverty. Famine. It's freezing cold. A poorly dressed kid is running across a courtyard with an armful of deadwood, followed by an angry caretaker.

The kid is running and thinking to himself:
>I gotta put an end to this. After all, I come from a nice family,...

Literary historians recently found a Briton recipe for a citrus-based sauce translated by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It was called the 'Lime of the Ancient Marinade'

Literary position.

Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"

"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."
<...

Reposted jokes here are a literary pain

You get excited for some new humor, only to discover you already reddit.

Literary alcohol puns

I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?

Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...

50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red B...

My girlfriend said she was staring at her computer screen not knowing what to write.

I told her she must be literary exhausted.

[This actually happened. I laughed for 20 minutes :(. ]

A swindler Passes by a bird in the stairwell of an appartment building

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

What did the girl who could only read odd numbers say?

I literary can't even.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This may seem stupid, but can I get a bit of help?

I really love jokes with the construction:

What's the difference between x and y? One is a(n) __________ and the other is a __________

Now, the thing that kills me about these is where there's the turn in the punchline, like (making this up):

What's the difference between your ...

What do you get...

..when you cross an underwater vessel with literary interest?

Er, a subreddit.

Ok, ok I know it's poor but I decided to make a joke about reddit and that was the best I could do. I'm hoping the comments provide better.

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