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Literary Jokes

“Who is your favorite literary vampire”?

The one from Sesame Street

“He doesn’t count”

I can assure you he does….

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a literary masterpiece!

Some might even call it poultry in motion...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Literary Humor.

I ordered a martini with an olive and a twist of lime.

The bartender served it with no olive or twist.

I gave him the Dickens.

What do you call a restaurant that predominantly uses garlic as an ingredient that caters to literary nerds?

Allicin Wonderland

What do you get when you cross a mafioso with a postmodern literary critic?

You get a guy who'll make you an offer you can't understand!

Literary position.

Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"

"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Longish literary-ish joke translated from Russian

Russia in the 1930s. Winter. Poverty. Famine. It's freezing cold. A poorly dressed kid is running across a courtyard with an armful of deadwood, followed by an angry caretaker.

The kid is running and thinking to himself:
>I gotta put an end to this. After all, I come from a nice family,...

I have finally completed my PhD in Literary Criticism...

And I beg you not to speak of the irony.

I’m pretty indifferent about most literary devices...

...but I avoid similes like the plague.

What happens when you cross alcoholism and books of literary merit?

Tequila Mockingbird

Kim Jong Un was given an international literary award a couple days ago...

... but nobody should be surprised; he is the Supreme Reader.

Literary historians recently found a Briton recipe for a citrus-based sauce translated by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It was called the 'Lime of the Ancient Marinade'

Reposted jokes here are a literary pain

You get excited for some new humor, only to discover you already reddit.

Literary alcohol puns

I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?

Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...

50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red B...

My girlfriend said she was staring at her computer screen not knowing what to write.

I told her she must be literary exhausted.

[This actually happened. I laughed for 20 minutes :(. ]

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

What did the girl who could only read odd numbers say?

I literary can't even.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This may seem stupid, but can I get a bit of help?

I really love jokes with the construction:

What's the difference between x and y? One is a(n) __________ and the other is a __________

Now, the thing that kills me about these is where there's the turn in the punchline, like (making this up):

What's the difference between your ...

What do you get...

..when you cross an underwater vessel with literary interest?

Er, a subreddit.

Ok, ok I know it's poor but I decided to make a joke about reddit and that was the best I could do. I'm hoping the comments provide better.

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