UPJOKE
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My coworkers laugh at my jokes in in-person meetings, but never in online meetings.

When I asked them why, they said that my jokes weren't remotely funny.

Why will anti-vaxxers not laugh at this joke?

They just won’t get it.

Why do Australians laugh at flightless birds?

They find them Emu-sing

A lot of people don't laugh at my dead baby jokes.

And that's fine. I guess you had to be there.

My friends used to laugh at me when I told them that I wanted to become a comedian

Well nobody's laughing now

How does a male donkey laugh at a mediocre joke

He haws

Why did the paralytic person not laugh at his friends’ jokes?

He didn’t realise they were pulling his leg.

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

I came up with a great science joke, but the scientists didn't take it seriously enough to laugh at.

They told me it hadn't been peer reviewed.

How many times do redditors laugh at a joke?

Twice: once when they read it, once when they post it.

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

Why did everyone laugh at the skeleton?

Because he was humerus.

My mom used to tell me not to laugh at other's condition because we may be in their position one day.

So I laugh at Bill Gates' condition everyday.

Seamen never laugh at my puns.

They're just too littoral.

People use to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian"

Well nobody is laughing now.

A “joke” my friend made up in middle school to prove I’d laugh at anything (I cried laughing unfortunately)

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. The server comes up to him and says: “what’ll you have?”

The man says “I’ll take blood in a monkey glass”.

The bartender says “excuse me?”

The man says “blood in a monkey glass, ya know just...blood in a monkey glass”

The bartender...

My brother and I often laugh at how competitive we are

I laugh more

I used to laugh at the circus.

But then I realised I too have been cream-pied by clowns.

When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn’t laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I’ve persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she’s in labor with our fourth and I’ve finally got her laughing...

...I think I’ve really improved the delivery!

(True Story: Today is baby number four, and this is basically the same lame joke I told/posted when our last child was born. Dad jokes 4TW!)

What do you call a group of dogs that never laugh at jokes?

A ruff crowd

"I own a small allotment...", So far I'm the only person I've heard laugh at this joke.

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil in on top of in. I've absolutely no idea why.

The plot thickens.

Why didn't the cow laugh at my joke?

He wasn't very amoosed because it was udderly lacking in humor, he had herd it before, it wasn't very mooving, it was cheesy and I milked the punchline a bit too much. Definitely wasn't moosic to his ears.
He still gave me a pat on the back though, which put me in a better moood.

I was at...

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[OC] Why did i laugh at the blind girl that jerked me off?

She couldent see it coming

Why does no one laugh at dad jokes?

The punchlines are so old they're full groan.

What happens if you laugh at a joke that doesn't have gold?

You lgh at it.

Why didn't the star laugh at the joke?

It was pretty Sirius

What do you call a show where people laugh at you while you get your therapy?

Dr.Phil

Why didnt the audience laugh at the giraffe' s joke?

It went over their heads

I used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....

Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller,
Beating it.....

I think in a couple of months we're all going to sit back and just laugh at this so-called COVID crisis and say what was the big deal.

Well, not all of us.

Vital organ donors never laugh at my jokes.

It’s as if they have no heart.

Everyone likes to laugh at other people's inability with numbers. However, 45% of people consider themselves bad at math, every twentieth member of the population hates decimals, 1 out of 5 people can't do mental arithmetic and 3/10 can't do fractions without a calculator.

Yet only one in a hundred find this funny.

People laugh at my car because it's ugly and green

At least I avacado

Laugh at your problems,

everybody else does.

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I’ll always laugh at a good dick joke,

Especially when they aren’t very long.

I wanted to make the best joke in the world - something short that everyone would laugh at.

Then I looked in the mirror and realized my dad already did it.

Sometimes I wonder if the entire world is full of defensive, conceited douchebags who can't laugh at themselves...

Then I read some Reddit comments and I'm almost certain of it.

People always laugh at my car because it looks like a fruit...

But at least I avocado!

They say girls love a guy who can laugh at himself

But they always seem to hate my self-defecating humor

Why did the atom not laugh at his friend's joke?

It was no laughing matter...

Why don't cows laugh at my jokes

Because they've herd them all before

Why did the father laugh at his son?

It’s good to laugh at your mistakes.

This is apparently the world's funniest joke. Would you laugh at it?

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he'...

Why do teachers always laugh at the new standards for teaching math?

Because the real joke is always in the common core.

Why do blind people always laugh at jokes?

Same as why they don't drive. They never see it comming.

I tried to tell a blind friend jokes today and he didn't laugh at a single one.

I guess he doesn't see the humor in them.

Why did my MRI scanner laugh at me

It had a sense of tumour

Why didn't anyone laugh at the poor cloud's joke?

It was a cirrus joke

Only Scandinavian Joke they will laugh at

What’s the difference between Norway and Sweden?



Sweden has a nice neighbor.

How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke?

Three times.
Once when you tell the joke. A second time when you explain it and a third time when she understands it.



Just kidding. She won't understand it.

I do agree that its healthy to laugh at your own mistakes...

But if you are a plastic surgeon you should probably do it in private.

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4 jokes you shouldn't laugh at but you still do ..... NSFW I guess

Reddit give me your worst most racist/sexist/dirtiest joke that you know you shouldn't laugh at but you still do. I'll start off with a few of my favorites:

Q: what do you call 5 black men hanging in a tree?
A: Mississippi wind chime

Q: why do women wear white on their wedding day?<...

Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself...

... call me - I will

My gf and I sometimes laugh at how competetive we are..

..but I laugh more than her.

What website are the germans least likely to laugh at?

Neingag.

Why didn't the biochemist laugh at antibody jokes?

He was humorally immune.

My dad once told me it's important to always laugh at your mistakes and accidents

He then looked at me and started laughing

When people ask me, “Is it true that in Russia you all have been brainwashed”, I laugh at them!

I don’t find that funny and I don’t want to laugh, but I can’t help myself.

Why do mountains always laugh at themselves?

Because they're hill-areas

The Belgian PM has enough of the French laughing at his fellow countrymen

In order to fix that, he calls the French president, asking him for a favor : doing something stupid, so that the world will laugh at France, for once.

After some negotiation, the French president agrees to build a bridge in the middle of nowhere, not above a river or anything.

The wor...

Three Dumb ER Stories You’re Allowed To Laugh At

Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: ‘I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people.’ ”

“Had a woman call 911 because she ‘had déjà vu in ...

Why do I not laugh at your jokes anymore?

Because I've "reddit" before

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

... Because he screwed up the delivery...

Why don't oxen laugh at funny gags?

*Because the yokes on them!*

Why didn't the blind person laugh at my joke?

Because he didn't see the funny side to it.

Why does nobody laugh at zombie-Peter Pan's jokes?

He always tells them with a dead Pan face.

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Earthworms will always laugh at a poop joke...

They really eat that shit up.

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