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Lambs Jokes

I heard Miley Cyrus is in the new Silence of the Lambs reboot

She plays Hannibal Montannibal.

I took a class on 'The Silence of the Lambs'

It was a Hannibal lecture.

What do you call 2 lambs dating?

A relationSHEEP.

Did you hear about the new Silence of the Lambs sequel that's set to take place in Newfoundland?

It's going to be called Ewes Be Quiet.

What do you call a crocodile that will only eat sacrificed lambs?

A Halalligator.

What's the difference between Antony Hopkins' character in Silence of the Lambs and someone who taunted Jeffery Dahmer as he ate?

One's Hannibal Lechter and the other's a cannibal heckler.

Why wasn't the little lamb allowed to frolic in the meadow with the other little lambs?

Because he had a serious gambolling problem.

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Mary had a little lamb

She tied it to a pylon.
Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon.

I went to the butchers and asked if he had a lambs head

No he replied, it's just how I come my hair.

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Adult Names

A man is driving his five-year-old son to school for his first day.

Suddenly the boy shouts out "Daddy! Daddy! Look at those moo cows in that field."

His father says "Hang on, you're a big boy now, you must use adult names. It's a cow, not a moo cow."

The boy i...

I love my vegetarian-only diet.

Lambs, Cows, Deers, Rabbits. They're all vegetarians and they're delicious!!

Just found out that Sir Anthony Hopkins is Welsh.

Certainly explains why he wanted all those lambs to keep quiet.

How did I get rich?

Well I was working on my sheep farm. We had just sheared the flock and spun the wool into yarn. As I was dying one skein of yarn green, a lamb wandered over and fell into the tub of dye. By the time I rescued the poor thing, he'd already managed to turn himself completely green.

Well, a littl...

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Help, my wife is missing!!!

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over 170 centermeters tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never ...

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