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Jury Duty Jokes

Magic Mike and his buddies get called for jury duty

Case was declared a mistrial on account of a hung jury

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.

She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."

"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."

My friend got jury duty

So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.

Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ten Lines to Get You Out of Jury Duty

1. I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.

2. I am really attracted to you, Your Honor.

3. If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him

4. I think laws are for sissies.

5. Would I have to bathe?

6. Can each of my personalities vote in t...

Why wasn't Thanos picked for jury duty?

Because he makes snappy judgements!

I got summoned for jury duty today...

When my name was eventually called, this blonde bombshell prosecutor looked me up and down then immediately dismissed me.

Something about not wanting to risk a "hung jury".

TIFU While drinking coffee during jury duty.

We were in the jury room deliberating the verdict. I was drinking a coffee, and dumped some packets of sugar into my beverage. Unfortunately a few were actually salt, and I ended up spitting hot coffee all over the woman next to me.

I tried to help clean off her dress, but accidentally hit h...

What do they call Jury Duty in Australia?

Didgereedooty

I begged a judge to let me off jury duty because of my job, but he insisted that my company can do just fine without me for a few days.

But that's exactly what I don't want them to figure out.

Many are called, few are chosen.....

.....thats right, I have jury duty

I know why there is so much incest in Alabama.

Since you can’t serve on a jury for a family member, you can avoid jury duty by being related to everybody

I had a court date this month. I screamed about my innocence and begged them for mercy.

I did not get picked for jury duty.

A man went to jury duty. During a break in deliberations he and a female juror he had been flirting with snuck into the coat closet and she started giving him head. Someone knocked on the door, startling him, and he knocked himself out cold on the closet shelf.

When the jury filed back into the courtroom, the judge noticed one was missing. “What happened to my 12th juror?”
The jury foreman replied, “Head in-jury your honor, but I hear he just came to.”

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