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Jr Jokes

Where does Donald Trump Jr. buy his groceries?

Traitor Joe's

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Jack Russle and Great Dane at the vets...

A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets...

JR: "Why are you here ?"

GD: "Fuck off."

JR: "No, come on, let's be friendly, we're both dogs, we don't want to be here, we should support each other,"

GD: "<sigh>"

JR: "I'll tell you why I'...

Why is it hard to make a joke about JFK Jr.?

Because they never land well.

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking?

It was making him Moody

The story behind Carl's Jr and Hardee's

You know how Carl's Jr and Hardee's are essentially the same restaurant? That's because Carl and Hardee are brothers. But Hardee is an awful name for a person -- and his brother teased him relentlessly for it -- so they started out with only Carl's Jr chains. Eventually, Hardee wanted to open his ow...

JFK, Ab. lincoln, & Martin luther king Jr walks into a bar

They get a few shots

Jerry Falwell Jr is leaving Liberty university...

he says he wants to spend more time watching his family.

St. Patrick's day vs Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King day?

St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish.

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What does Jerry Falwell Jr. say after sex?

“You guys want anything?”

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I named my penis Joe Jr.

Because he spends alot of time with Joe Mama

Donald Trump showed up in Washington D.C. to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

Actually, he just heard the words "Washington D.C." and "King" and got excited.

Jerry Falwell Jr has resigned his post as president from the school that his father founded

When reporters were seeking a statement, he was not at Liberty to respond

Dale Earnhardt Jr hates Donald Trump.

He is adamantly against the wall. It killed his dad.

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Jerry F Jr comes home and tells his wife:

My dear, due to the crisis, we will have to cut some expenses, so we will have to fire the cook. You have to learn how to cook.
Okay - answers Becky, the wife - and we can get rid of the pool boy as soon as you learn how to have sex.

Ran into Robert Downey Jr. randomly at a club the other day

He was in his Iron Man getup but without the helmet and was dancing with glow sticks by himself. Anytime anyone tried to come up to him, he'd push them away, curse at them, then continue dancing.

He was Stark, raving mad.

Why did JR Smith trip over his shoelaces?

Because he thought they were tied.

What is the difference between Dale Earnhardt Jr and Jesus Christ?

One of them is the son of God and the other one died for your sins

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Robert Downey Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch both got constipation

No shit, Sherlock

Two friends get a parrot

Two friends get a parrot, but aren't sure what to name it.

The one friend, Bill says "We should name it Bill Jr."

"We should name it Bill Jr" the Parrot squeaked

Bill rolled his eyes "Stupid parrot"

"Stupid parrot" the Parrot squeaked

Clive liked the name "Kiwi" an...

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Jerry Falwell Jr. said that if he ever got caught in a sex scandal....

He would go down swinging.

Does anyone know if Jerry Falwell Jr. is still scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention?

Or is he just going to sit in the corner and watch?

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A nervous young priest…

is preparing for his first sermon. He goes to the elder bishop for advice, who tells him ‘Take a glass of vodka up with you, and every time you start to feel nervous, take a sip. Everyone will just think it’s water and it’ll help calm you down.’

The young priest follows the wise elders advice...

Thank you Martin Luther king jr.

As custodians we owe that guy a lot, if it wasn't for him we'd have to clean two drinking fountains.

The hippocampus is like the Martin Luther King Jr. part of the brain because it's always like ...

I have a dream!

I'm so jealous of Martin Luther King Jr.

Nobody ever wants to hear stories about my weird dreams

Walter Jr. had to use both feet to operate the pedals.

He was braking bad.

Eric & Don Jr were building a house & Eric was throwing away every second nail

Don Jr: "What the hell is wrong with these nails?"
Eric: "The fvcking heads are on the wrong end"
Don Jr: "You idiot! These are for the other side of the house"

Why did Martin Luther King Jr. boycott laundry detergent?

Because it told him to keep his whites and colours separate.

What's the difference between JR Smith and a bad music composer?

One of them still knows the score

Trump and his son DT Jr. bump into each other in the hallway.

"Pardon me dad"

My wife’s car got stolen while she was out the other day.

I said ,“Were you able to see what the guy looked like?”

She replied, “No, but I got the license plate number!”

[Source](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jrFgD9-l390)

Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

I went to a Carl's Jr. the other day and noticed it was incredibly cold inside...

Turns out I was at Brrrrr-ger King.

I saw Trump Jr. Today but he told me he was in a hurry and couldn't talk.

Turns out he was lying about rushin'.

President Trump: "I've raised THE BEST kids....."

".....They are the most polite people you have ever seen. Just today Don Jr. has already said "Pardon Me, Dad" at least 10 times. He has such great manners!"

My friend was trashing children's shows, which offended everybody, but then he changed tune and said he want's to revive Nick Jr.

I think he was just trying to save Face

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My Jr High teacher makes me have sex with her while her husband watches, but that's not the worst part.

....I'm homeschooled.

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If Biden unfucks any more of Trump's mistakes any faster...

There'll be no Ivanka and Jr. by Sunday.

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It's a real shame that, in this day and age, Barrack Obama had to give his speech about Martin Luther King Jr., while standing behind bullet proof glass...

Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot somebody...

Bored at work so I wrote my first joke. It’s extremely dumb but maybe it’ll make someone laugh.

An extremely wealthy family owned countless successful companies, bought out competitors and even purchased new ventures if they looked promising enough. Nothing was too big or small, and nothing was off limits.

The family consisted of a mother (Linda), father (Robert) and 3 sons (Robert Jr.,...

Did you know they're renaming the Nantucket sound?

It's going to be called JFK Jr. Airport

The Bakery

There once was a father and son who owned a bakery. Ron Sr and Ron Jr.

They made pastries, bread loaves, and even a few sandwiches. Their most popular item on the menu was rye bread.

One morning, their oven stopped working. They were both panicking.

Shortly after they realized t...

At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...

... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"

"Because I just imagined d...

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

Son: If you could save any famous person who would it be?

Daughter: Martin Luther King Jr.

Son: I would save the Rock.

Daughter: He’s not dead.

Son: You’re welcome.

"His rod and His staff comfort me."

\-- Jerry Falwell Jr. explains his attraction to his pool boy.

A man named Tenison March was filmed exiting the bureau of births, deaths and marriages.

Footage shows that seconds later, another man named “Samsung Galaxy-9 Jr” (formerly Allen Frank) was seen throwing wild punches at March.

March, an ex-Green Beret, was able to fend off the attack until police arrived on the scene to make an arrest.

Galaxy-9 has been charged with batter...

The Ultimate Dad Joke said by a Mom

There was a beautiful, young woman named May. May Elizabeth to be precise.

May Elizabeth married a young man named Jack Johnson. She kept her maiden name, and stayed May Elizabeth.

This couple had a girl, and named her after the mother; May Elizabeth Jr. Now, May Elizabeth Jr finds her...

I told my father I would name my son after him

He's going to be pretty surprised when I introduce him to Dad Jr

A girl asks her father “daddy, how did I get my name?”

He explains “you see sweetie, when your mother got pregnant with your older brother, we decided that your mother would name the first born after whatever she loved the most, and I would name our second born after whatever I loved the most. So that’s why your big brother is named Steven jr. and you a...

My brother got a new pet hamster.

He wanted to think of a perfect name for him so he pondered for a while. Finally he came up with Cuba Gooding Jr. because he absolutely loved most of his movies.

One day Cuba got out of his cage and we couldn’t find him for hours. We looked everywhere, even into the garage and finally the at...

Trump says that the Special Olympics will still be funded despite DeVos' plan.

This is presumably so Eric and Don Jr can still compete.

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly.

"Which one?" I replied, "Chris Jr, or the girl one?"

My friend Victor is a historian

He invited me to a party at his house and started introducing me to all his colleagues.
“This is Victor, he’s a historian of the renaissance. The guy next to him is Victor Jr, he’s a historian of ancient Egypt. And those two guys over there are Victor and Victor, they are doing great work on Mes...

What do you call someone whose stepmom is younger than their girlfriend?

Donald Trump, Jr.

3 celebrities are going to a costume party. They decided to have musician themed costumes.

Tom Cruise says, "I'll be Mozart." Robert Downey Jr. day's "I'll be Beethoven." Arnold Swarznegger says, "I'll be Bach."

Some famous actors decide to make a movie about classical musicians

They immediately begin to claim roles.

Robert Downey, Jr. says “I’ll be Mozart.”

Nicolas Cage says “I’ll be Beethoven.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger says “I’ll be Bach!”

Life hack

If you beat your kids at a burger king it legally changes from child abuse to a whopper jr.

A Family of Balloons

There was once a family of balloons; Balloon Dad, Balloon Mum and Balloon Jr. As Balloon Jr was only very young he was still getting used to sleeping the whole night in his own bed. Mum and Dad would always say that he is now too big and he simply must stay in his own bed! One night Balloon Jr just ...

I heard Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys this year...

Eric and Don Jr

A Catholic guy has a child by his mistress

A priest is present during the child's birth. He asks the priest what he should name the kid. He responds.

"Excommunicated Jr."

Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment

They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.

What do a 45 year old pregnant alcoholic and Ironman have in common?

Both have a little Downy Jr in them.

What do Iron Man's suit and the small bus have in common?

They both transport Downey jr.

The presidential limousine pulls up to Air Force One. Donald Trump steps out with a baby boar tucked under each arm.

As he’s about to board the plane, a secret service agent stops him and asks “Sir, forgive my intrusion, but what’s with the boars?”

Donald motions to one and says “I got this one for Eric,” he motions to the other, “and I got this one for Don Jr.”

The secret service agent nods in appro...

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

St. Peter addresses the man wearing somewhat sloppy clothes, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Jack Thomas Jr., taxi-d...

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