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Journalists Jokes

It’s tough finding journalists qualified to report on rhythm sections

They need to cover all the basses and can’t miss a beat.



I'm reposting this joke until somebody finds it funny beside me.

When it comes to fact-checking, journalists are lazy.

Source: Wikipedia.

When journalists quote you, they have a subtle but unmistakable way to call out your grammatical errors.

It's a [sic] burn.

Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles.

Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.

How many journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three:

One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the poor.
One to report it as a conspiracy to deprive the poor of darkness.
And one to win a Pulitzer Prize for reporting that the electric company hired someone to break the lightbulb in the first place.
...

What happens to investigative journalists in Russia?

They're Putin jail

I was surprised when Buzzfeed laid of their journalists

I didn't even know they had journalists!

What do journalists like to find inside their Christmas crackers?

A pull-it surprise.

Putin must be a great president, Russian journalists seem to really like him

They can't say bad things about him!

What do Lois Lane, Kent Brockman, and a Kotaku writer have in common?

They're all journalists in somebody's imagination.

A bus full of journalists is on its way to Mar-a-Lago.

The bus veers off the road and overturns. Emergency vehicles rush to the scene, only to find Trump with a shovel in his hand, and Stephen Miller on a bulldozer.

A paramedic asks " What happened to all the passengers ? "

Trump says " They were all dead, so we buried them ! "

...

What keyboard shortcut is extensively used by journalists who work for Breitbart News?

alt right

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Fox News and CNN journalists go to the same gym?

It has a really great spin class.

Criticizing the government

for Russian journalists it’s a once-in-a-liftetime opportunity

An American explains to a Russian...

that the United States has freedom of the press, and their journalists won't get pushed out of windows, for example, if they write an article that says Donald Trump is a liar.

The Russian says that this is nonsense, because journalists in Russia can easily write an article without fear of ret...

A car gets stopped on the road

In a few seconds, the car is surrounded by cameras and journalists and a reporter tells the driver:

"Congratulations , you're the 10 000 000 car on this road, you're getting 10 000 000 €!! What will you do with that money?"

The male driver thinks for a moment, then replies: "Well, firs...

Mohammad bin Salman is 33 making him, technically, a Millennial...

...so now Baby Boomers can add "Journalists" to their list of "things Millennials are killing".

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