This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A locksmith works on a back door to a house as a man approaches.

The man is irate, as he’s constantly paranoid that his girlfriend is cheating on him.

“What’re you doing at my house? Are you spying on my girlfriend!?” The man barks, as the locksmith was currently eyeing the keyhole. The locksmith explains that he’s there to fix the door and the man calms d...

Are locksmiths in lockdown ...

Or are they key-workers?

I'm thinking of becoming a Locksmith...

I'm hoping it will open some doors for me.

Locksmiths still have to do their jobs, despite the current pandemic

They are key workers, after all.

Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown..

Cuz he’s a key worker.

During this covid self isolation I went outside for a brief moment, the door closed behind, and I didn't have my house keys with me. So l called a locksmith for help...

... when he arrived, i asked, "you sure you should be out during l this lockdown?"


He replied, "it's okay, I'm a key worker".

A locksmith came round to my house yesterday

I asked him why he was working during quarantine. He said he was key worker

I work as a locksmith...

A job that really opens up a lot of doors to me...

What’s it called when a locksmith gets married?

Wedlock

I adopted a dog from a locksmith.

As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.

Did you about the guy that locked himself out of his car?

He called the locksmith & the locksmith said “I’ll be there in 40 mins”

Guy said “no, I need you to be here faster. It looks like it’s about to start raining and the top is down”

I asked him "Who are you and how did you get here?"

He replied "I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith."

What's a locksmith's favorite pasta?

Gnocchi

Do you know when you should run from your locksmith?

When you see they're dead, bolt.

I am forming a mutual support-group for people who have been ripped-off by locksmiths.

My door is always open.

I went to locksmithing school

I learned some key information

What do you call a locksmith with a lisp?

Keith

When my grandfather passed away, we were surprised

. . . to discover a small locked box in his closet. No one in the family had ever seen it before and no one could provide any guess as to what it might contain. Curiosity eventually overtook us and we brought the box to a locksmith to be opened. Inside were some trophies, many small discs and a c...

Are you ready for a bone-afide good story that will definitely tickle your funny bone?

In a land far far away, lives a locksmith. This locksmith however, has two very special traits. One, he is an undead skeleton retired from being a lowly exp grind mob, and two, is able to open any lock. His skills are unrivaled, but when even he is stumped, he can detach one of his bones to utilize ...

Whats another name for a hairdresser?

A locksmith.

A man comes home to find his door lock is not working properly

He promptly unscrews the hinges, picks up the door and takes it to the market to repair the lock.

The locksmith asks *"If the door's here...what if someone walks into your house?"*

Confused, he replies *"How would anyone get in when I have the door?"*

I have a dog named Locksmith

Every time I kick him he makes a bolt for the door.

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith.

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith. - http://ww.key-n-lock.com

Silly Billy

(Its a translation of a popular joke from my country. My English is a bit rusty. )

So Silly Billy was driving and he had a door on the roof of his car. A Police Officer pulled him over.

Police Officer - Where are you taking this door?

Billy - Oh, I am taking it to the locksmith....

A man is sitting in the dock at court.

The judge asks the man for his occupation.
"I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies.
"And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires.
"I was making a bolt for the door".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde woman locks her keys inside her car...

And so she calls a locksmith to open it. When the locksmith (who is also blonde) gets there she pulls out her Slim Jim tool to open the door when she notices a problem, the driver side window to the car is wide open.

The locksmith looks to the driver and says, "Ma'am I can't use this tool on...

Three Brothers

My friend Mike and his two brothers Luke and Bill aren't exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. Just yesterday afternoon they found themselves stuck at Walmart because they locked the damn keys in the truck. Of course Mike and Luke spent the better part of an hour bickering over whether they s...

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