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Locksmith Jokes

I'm thinking of becoming a Locksmith...

I'm hoping it will open some doors for me.

I have a locksmith joke….

….but I don't think it's safe

What do you call a locksmith with a lisp?

Keith

What's Mike Tyson's locksmith called?

Keith

For Christmas I adopted a dog that used to belong to a locksmith.

I just caught him helping himself to the turkey and he made a bolt for the door.

If Locksmiths go on strike.....

...

Do they refuse to picket?

I work as a locksmith...

A job that really opens up a lot of doors to me...

Are locksmiths in lockdown ...

Or are they key-workers?

Why are locksmiths allowed to stay open during lockdown?

Because they are key workers.

I am forming a mutual support-group for people who have been ripped-off by locksmiths.

My door is always open.

Why was the locksmith such a good singer?

Because the local taxpayers agreed to fund music education in public schools.

Locksmiths still have to do their jobs, despite the current pandemic

They are key workers, after all.

What’s it called when a locksmith gets married?

Wedlock

Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown..

Cuz he’s a key worker.

During this covid self isolation I went outside for a brief moment, the door closed behind, and I didn't have my house keys with me. So l called a locksmith for help...

... when he arrived, i asked, "you sure you should be out during l this lockdown?"


He replied, "it's okay, I'm a key worker".

What's a locksmith's favorite pasta?

Gnocchi

I went to locksmithing school

I learned some key information

I asked my locksmith why he wasn't at home self isolating.

He told me he was a key worker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A locksmith works on a back door to a house as a man approaches.

The man is irate, as he’s constantly paranoid that his girlfriend is cheating on him.

“What’re you doing at my house? Are you spying on my girlfriend!?” The man barks, as the locksmith was currently eyeing the keyhole. The locksmith explains that he’s there to fix the door and the man calms d...

I asked him "Who are you and how did you get here?"

He replied "I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

King Arthur goes on a crusade

But is worried about his wife having sex with other men. So he goes to a locksmith and asks:

-Hello my dear friend you see I'm heading out for a crusade and I'm worried about my wife's purity.

-Say no more my king I think I have just right thing for your sorrows. Look this my latest ...

When my grandfather passed away, we were surprised

. . . to discover a small locked box in his closet. No one in the family had ever seen it before and no one could provide any guess as to what it might contain. Curiosity eventually overtook us and we brought the box to a locksmith to be opened. Inside were some trophies, many small discs and a c...

I have a dog named Locksmith

Every time I kick him he makes a bolt for the door.

Did you about the guy that locked himself out of his car?

He called the locksmith & the locksmith said “I’ll be there in 40 mins”

Guy said “no, I need you to be here faster. It looks like it’s about to start raining and the top is down”

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith.

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith. - http://ww.key-n-lock.com

A man is sitting in the dock at court.

The judge asks the man for his occupation.
"I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies.
"And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires.
"I was making a bolt for the door".

Whats another name for a hairdresser?

A locksmith.

I remember the last time I had gnocchi

I had to call a locksmith.

Silly Billy

(Its a translation of a popular joke from my country. My English is a bit rusty. )

So Silly Billy was driving and he had a door on the roof of his car. A Police Officer pulled him over.

Police Officer - Where are you taking this door?

Billy - Oh, I am taking it to the locksmith....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde woman locks her keys inside her car...

And so she calls a locksmith to open it. When the locksmith (who is also blonde) gets there she pulls out her Slim Jim tool to open the door when she notices a problem, the driver side window to the car is wide open.

The locksmith looks to the driver and says, "Ma'am I can't use this tool on...

Three Brothers

My friend Mike and his two brothers Luke and Bill aren't exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. Just yesterday afternoon they found themselves stuck at Walmart because they locked the damn keys in the truck. Of course Mike and Luke spent the better part of an hour bickering over whether they s...

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