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Roofer Jokes

Why do women like roofers?

Because they strip em and nail em all day long

If you're looking for a relationship, become a roofer.

You're bound to find hot shingles in your area

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nearly lost my job as a roofer when I was caught masturbating on my first day at work

Luckily my boss said I could wipe the slate clean...

My roofer friend takes his job very seriously

He always goes over the top to get the job done

I used to be a roofer....

back when I was shingle.

I was just about to go on a blind date with a female roofer

But her fascia turned me off

I'm a 50s roofer...

I did the job asbestos I could.

A roofer with a lisp

Is hired to install new roofs across the city, when he didnt get paid - he began tearing up all his hard work without discrimination.
It was roofless.

What’s the difference between 9/11 & that summer I worked as a roofer?

9/11 was an inside job

Christian lady living next door to a construction site got tired of hearing the constant cursing from the on site workers.

So she decided one day to pack a lunch and go eat with them while trying to get some religion into the loud, lewd men. Once most of the men had gathered under a shade tree, she walked over with her little brown bag and asked "Do any of you men know Jesus Christ?" They looked around at each other, an...

Pierre the French Canadian got a job roofing

He was taking 100 lb bundles of shingles up the ladder to the roof. On his way up, the roofer slipped and pushed a bundle down on him. It clipped the side of his head, slicing off his ear. Everyone on the job site helped him look for his ear on the ground. One guy finally hollered “found it”. Pierre...

Anyone know a good roofer?

Nevermind, the glass ceiling didn't get smashed...

Little known fact #38: One of the first online "hook-up" apps started out using Sean Connery to do their voice overs. They soon noticed they were only getting hits from roofers.

Apparently they were interested in the dozens of hot shingles in their area.

Did you hear the one about the roofer with a perfect safety record?

He never had a shingle accident.

Bill Cosby just moved in next door

He’s been on top of the house replacing broken shingles, and fixing leaks. Turns out he’s a very experienced roofer

What Do I Look Like to You? (long)

A married couple moves into to a new home. After a few days, as the husband returns home from work, his wife says to him, “Honey, one of the pipes in the bathroom is leaking, could you fix it?”
“What do I look like, a plumber?” asks the husband, and goes to sleep.
A few days later, the wife on...

I'd like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer...

...so...dad, if you're up there...

Dad joke.

What do you call a beautiful female roofer.


Bonnie Tiler.

A roofer gets to choose how to get onto the roof. He can either use a scissor lift or a series of steps between two metal poles.

He chose the ladder.

I know it’s frustrating waiting for your COVID shot...

But just think of all the roofers who haven’t got the Shingles vaccine.

I’m a roofer and earlier today my coworker asked me how I’m gonna get down from the roof of the house. I said I could jump or I could climb down.

I chose the latter

The roof job

Two Roofers, Bob and Dan, were putting a new roof on a barn when a bundle of shingles slid down the slope and knocked the ladder over.

Bob and Dan decided since it was early they would continue working because someone would surely come around by quitting time.

It was nearing 5 PM and ...

Construction contractors throw the wildest parties.

The carpenters get hammered, the plumbers end up tanked, the drywall installers are always plastered by the end of the night, the electricians get buzzed, the masons get stoned, and the roofers are high. The only responsible ones are the heavy equipment operators but they’re always trying to plow yo...

Jesus spoke to me yesterday...

But I don't like talking to my roofers, so I had his brother Juan tell him not to do that in the future.

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