Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following


1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

Look at my arms, can you tell I dead lift Mon-Fri?

Unless it's a public holiday, the morgue is shut then.

Last night I dreamt about you again.

I dreamt that we were together. I was happy. I was truly happy. For the first time in a long while. Then I woke up, and I waited for you. I waited all day for you. I waited for you to walk up the path and knock on my front door. I must've watched at least sixty people pass by, but I never saw you. I...

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