Yester Jokes

He woke up in a hospital with a doctor standing over him.

He asked the doctor, "Did I come here to die?"

The doctor replied, "Nah, mate, you came here yesterday."

... he says, "Doctor, was I brought here to die?"
The doctor replies, "No, you were brought here yester-die"

He washes up ashore on an Australian beach. Unconscious, he's taken to a hospital, and wakes up the next day. Upon waking up, he notices how filthy the hospital is. The conditions are really terrible.

A nurse comes to check on him. "This hospital is terrible! You brought Me Here To *Die*?" H... read more

As they present themselves at boot camp, the drill sergeant walks up and down the line, looking for signs of weakness.

He stops and gets in the Australian's face and asks "Did you come here to die soldier?"

The Australian calmly responds, "No sir, I came here yester-die."

Next day while in training

General- Did you come here to die?

Hillbilly- No sir, I came here yester-die

A tourist is trudging through Australia’s Great Victoria Desert. …

He’s completely lost, and he’s quickly running out of water. His vision is rather impaired, and he can tell that he’s only got a few more hours before he’ll pass out.

Suddenly, he accidentally steps on a rattlesnake! Be... read more

She arrives at LAX early in the morning and arranges to drive to his house, in New Orleans, in order to “take in the scenery” and see what the American South has to offer.

She drives at a leisurely pace, and stops at scenic viewpoints whenever possible, knowing she has some time to get to he... read more