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When the bathroom is closed at the local bar, a man makes a bet with the bartender [Longish Story]

"Sorry sir, the bathroom is closed. You will have to go elsewhere", stated the bartender.

"Elsewhere, you say?" said the man, the wheels slowly clanking into place in his head forming an idea. He ushers the man into the closed bathroom by the sink. "Since I can't pee in this toilet like my gr...

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Payday

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already....

Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife

and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday a...

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The Birth of Baby Ruth

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediate...

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Birth of a Candy Bar! rated XXX and NSFW

One PAYDAY, MR. PEANUT wanted a BIT o' HONEY, so he took MARY JANE back behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVE. He began to feel her MOUNDS. That was pure ALMOND JOY!! It made his TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out some SNICKERS as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICY FRUIT and caused a MILK...

Candy at the cash register?

I’ll buy some if it’s a Payday.

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The Cod Captain and His Seamen's Semen

Several centuries ago, Irish fishermen sought fortune fishing cod off the coast of Newfoundland. During the long cross-Atlantic journey, many captains worried about their men after so much time away from their wives.

One devoutly Catholic captain was especially concerned that his men might re...

Once the night watchman received a pound too much in his pay-packet

But he didn't mention it to his boss. But his boss found out and deducted it the following payday.

'Hey, ' said the watchman, 'I am a pound short this week.'

'You didn't say anything last week when you were paid a pound too much, I noticed'

'NO', replied the watchman. 'I can ove...

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What most job descriptions really mean:

"the ability to learn new things" - you'll need this ability to learn how to pull salary for two months, how to make food economy, etc.

"young team" - we can not afford than students ;

"young and dynamic environment" - we change students each year;

"with the desire for self-impr...

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[NSFW] The coal-miner's lust

On his payday, coal-miner Joe wanted to get laid, especially now since he was just paid. He goes to a brothel and asks for the finest broad there. The manger says to him "sorry, we don't have any women right now, but you can have sex with a chicken for free." Wanting sex so badly, Joe thinks for a m...

What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar?

A payday

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