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House Party Jokes

Had a house party last night

...and there's always one left over! Laid on the floor in the corner, still that drunk? He couldn't even stand! Asked him where he lived, then dragged him down the driveway to my car, his legs all over the place, picked him up, threw him inside, & took him home. Dragged him up to his house &...

My dad said I could have a house party.

"Just make sure it's under 20 people," he stated.

"That shouldn't be a problem," I replied, "we live on the bottom floor of an apartment building, after all."

I wasn't allowed into the fancy dress house party.

That's the last time I go to one dressed as a Jehovah's witness.

A priest was invited to attend a house party

.Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his priest's collar.

A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at. The little boy pointed to the priest's neck.

When the priest finally realized what the boy was poin...

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A young, attractive lady comes back from a house party.

Let's call her Jessica. Unfortunately, Jessica's face is now well wept. Her mother catches her with cum on her face, and begins to sob hysterically: "After I did everything to raise you as a good catholic girl, what the hell i this? Do you have any idea what I have gone through after your father lef...

How do you get 30 rowdy, drunk Canadians out of your pool after a house party?

Ask them politely, "Please get out of the pool".

Some douche bag stole my anti-depressants from my bathroom during a house party.

I hope he's happy now.

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Three Guys Go to a House Party

The host tells them beforehand, "it's an costume party, you need to come dressed as an emotion." They all agree. The first guy shows up, dressed in all red, the host asks "what are you supposed to be?" "I'm red with anger." The party-goer replied "Go ahead." The second guy shows up in all green, "wh...

I had Kevin Spacey show up at a house party

I don’t see what all the fuss about him is. I was chatting to him for an hour about all things from art and music to politics.

He’s a very articulate and intelligent man but I must say his sense of direction is a bit off.

He cut our conversation short saying that he had to use the li...

The Notorious B.I.G. once hosted a house party featuring a giant fortune teller

It was a large medium at Small's.

We threw a house party that ended badly last night, after the wife put her best friend in hospital with a single punch.

The worst fruit allergy I've ever seen.

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I suspected my wife cheated on me at a Bill Cosby's house party last night...

"No, I didn't have sex with Bill Cosby"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure I'd remember having sex with Bill Cosby!"

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My roommate dressed as a syringe for our Halloween house party.

He's upstairs with the sexy girl wearing the Courtney Love costume.

In the addict.

Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and her brother Bill are at Mulder's house party. They all gather around a pizza box with only 3 slices left.

SCULLY: Mulder, there isn't enough for each of us to have two. You'll have to share.

MULDER: I want two. Bill, leave.

What did the rubber ball say when he left the yo-yo's late night house party?

You better get some sleep - I'm gonna bounce!

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Only in England.

£800 fine if you are caught at a house party during lock-down.

But reduced to £400 if paid early.

If you catch covid at the party, the government will

give you £500 to stay at home.

That's £100 profit.

This country is absolutely fucked.

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Fell asleep at a house party last night and someone put a teabag in my mouth, I went fucking mental...

No one treats me like a mug

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I was a big metal fan back in high school.

Back in high school I was a big metal fan.

At the beginning of the summer holidays I was at this awesome house party.

It was just high school kids in the house so we were able to turn the volume way up and had a pretty awesome playlist: Metallica, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Mai...

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- Would you believe me? Tom is so rich that he has a golden toilet in his house!

– No way! You have to be kidding me!

– Last weekend he had a house party, and I was there. I was really surprised when I saw his toilet!

– I don't believe you. Let's visit him.

The two friends go to Tom's house. The first one knocks on a door and he is welcomed by Tom's wife, wh...

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[NSFW] John is moving into a house in the country

John is moving into a house in the country. His neighbor, Paul, pulls down the drive way and greets John. Paul invites John to his house party the following week end.
"There's gonna be a lot of drinkin', a lot of fightin', and a lot of fuckin' goin' on," Paul tells John.
"Oh, okay" John replie...

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