What the difference between Vladimir Putin and Vlad the impaler (AKA Dracula)?

One sucks the blood of innocents and possesses eternal youth, the other is Dracula.

What's Vlad the Impaler's favorite joke?

So this bar goes into a guy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why would Vlad the Impaler not have been a good Redditor?

He created too many shit posts.

Did you know that Vlad the Impaler was a very successful racing instructor?

He brought thousands into the pole position.

What did Vlad the Impaler's victims cried to him during torture?

"Vladislav, baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no more"

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?


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What is Vlad the Impaler's kink?

Ass to mouth


....I hardly know her.

You never want to play poker with Vlad the Impaler

A lot is at stake

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Vlad the Impaler must have really hated strict people

Because most of his enemies had a stick up their ass...

Why was Vlad the Impaler like reddt?

Because if you survived the impaling you were sure to get reposted.

Say what you will about Vlad the Impaler

He was one hell of a proctologist.

My ex girlfirend

My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head.

"The Impaler" was my favourite.

Well, at least, that's what I thought she said....

Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.

Want to know another creepy coincidence?

Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Dracula's pornstar name?

Vlad the Impaler

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