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Imp Jokes

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Mussolini goes to hell

Its 1945, and its time for Mussolini to go to Hell

As he arrives near the infernal gates, apart from the "no smoking" sign he also spots an imp with a clipboard and a pen

As he approaches the gate the aforementioned imp says

"Welcome to hell, please state your name and surname...

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I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...

I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel. The Madame asked, "what can we do for you?"
I said, "I need a woman to lay with, for mine has left me."
The Madame asked "You poor thing; whatever for? And why do you have a jackass and a honeycomb?"
"Well," I answered, "my woma...

A judge is hearing a murder trial.

Imp and her spirite-elf that was killed and the suspect, a 16 year old who's represented by his father, Ep.

After hearing the case, the judge decides.

Ep's teen didn't kill Imp's elf.

If Santa is half human, half kindly old elf who decides who's naughty or nice...

Does that make him an imp-partial judge?

During his sermon, he swore he was a servant of God and not a mischievous little demon from Hell

But I knew he was an imp pastor

Nobody believes me when I tell them I had a splinter when touring Spain and a playful little kid helped get rid of it.

Nobody expects the Spanish imp incision.

What do you call a demonic monkey?

An Imp-anzee

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Mike Tyson is a jerk

Alright, so Mike Tyson is kind of a dick. He treats all the people around him like shit. His friends, his family, etc. One day, he goes to a restaurant and just refuses to tip his waitress. Little does he know, the waitress was actually a witch. To get revenge, the witch conjures up a spirit to curs...

How did the dwarf reach the cookies on top of the fridge?

He Imp-provised.

I made an app that tells you were people with dwarfism are at all times.

I can't be the only one thinking of the imp-locations.

Karl Marx dies and stands trial before St. Peter.

St. Peter: "The ideas you preach have brought misery to billions. I send you to the deepest pits of Hell!"

After a few months Satan calls God:

Satan: "God, please remove Marx from my realm as soon as possible."

God: "Why would I do that? He is a sinner, his fate is to burn in H...

Steve Jobs dies and goes to Purgatory (Heard this way before he died)

Eventually St. Peter comes to him and lets him know that he's done a lot of good things for the world and caused a lot of trouble, so they're not sure where to put him. He lets him get a tour of heaven and hell and let him decide where he wants to be.

So Steve goes on a tour of heaven and ...

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A Man Dies and Goes to Hell

Upon his arrival, he is furious. He is roaring at the little imps that keep trying to drag him in, and demands to see his record.
Fed up, Satan goes up the man and says "Look, relax, man, it's Hell. We have all the sins down here! Look, you like to gamble, right?"

Flustered, the man resp...

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Three men die and go to hell

Three men die and go to hell. In there, the devil says: "Well, today I'm in a good mood, so let's spice things a little bit. Tell me a riddle I can't answer and you'll go to heaven".

The first guy says "What has four legs but can't walk?" to which the devil answers with "A table, you're not e...

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